1 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,892 (CROWD CHATTERING) 2 00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:20,103 (WHISTLING) 3 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,566 REPORTER: So stay with us, because later this afternoon, 4 00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:30,029 we're lucky enough to be talking to Anna Scott, Hollywood's biggest star by far. 5 00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:33,408 Miss Scott's latest film is once again topping the charts... 6 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,327 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 7 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,374 (CROWD APPLAUDING) 8 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,000 (CROWD CHEERING) 9 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,467 (CHEERING) 10 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:30,691 WILLIAM: Ofcourse, I've seen her films and always thought she was, well, fabulous. 11 00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:34,195 But, you know, a million, million miles from the world I live in. 12 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,656 Which is here, Notting Hill. 13 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,866 My favourite bit of London. 14 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,409 There's the market on weekdays 15 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,204 selling every fruit and vegetable known to man. 16 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:46,165 Rock hard bananas, five for a pound! 17 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,292 The tattoo parlour with a guy outside 18 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:51,921 who got drunk and now can't remember why he chose "I love Ken." 19 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,967 The radical hairdressers, where everyone comes out looking like 20 00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:59,178 the Cookie Monster, whether they want to or not. 21 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:01,222 And then, suddenly, it's the weekend 22 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,183 and from break of day hundreds of stalls appear out of nowhere 23 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:07,186 filling Portobello Road, right up to Notting Hill Gate. 24 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:10,982 And wherever you look thousands of people are buying millions of antiques, 25 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:14,986 some genuine, and some not quite so genuine. 26 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:19,699 And what's great is that lots of friends have ended up in this part of London. 27 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:23,244 That's Tony, for example, architect turned chef 28 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:26,706 who recently invested all the money he ever earned in a new restaurant. 29 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:30,209 And so, this is where I spend my days and years, 30 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:32,211 in this small village in the middle of the city, 31 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:35,381 in a house with a blue door that my wife and I bought together 32 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:39,260 before she left me for a man who looked exactly like Harrison Ford. 33 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:43,055 And where I now lead a strange half-life with a lodger called... 34 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,140 Spike? 35 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,229 Hi. 36 00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:53,441 You couldn't help me with an incredibly important decision, could you? 37 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,484 Is this important in comparison to, let's say, 38 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,236 whether they should cancel Third World debt? 39 00:03:57,321 --> 00:04:00,781 That's right. I'm at last going out on a date with the great Janine 40 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,909 and I just wanna be sure I've picked the right T-shirt. 41 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,494 - What are the choices? - Well, wait for it. 42 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:16,297 First there's this one. Cool, huh? 43 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:20,801 Yeah, it might make it hard to strike a really romantic note. 44 00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:23,095 Point taken. Don't despair. 45 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,807 If it's romance we're looking for I believe I have just the thing. 46 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:35,274 Yeah, well, there again, she might not think you had true love on your mind. 47 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,735 Right. Just one more. 48 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,826 True love here I come. 49 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:55,461 Well, yeah. Yeah, that's, that's perfect. 50 00:04:56,797 --> 00:05:00,091 Great. Thanks. Wish me luck. 51 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,134 Good luck. 52 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,892 WILLIAM: And so it wasjust another hopeless Wednesday 53 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:13,270 as I walked the thousand yards through the market to work, 54 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:17,525 never suspecting that this was the day that was gonna change my life forever. 55 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,903 This is work, by the way, my little travel bookshop. 56 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,699 - Morning, Martin. - Morning, Monseigneur. 57 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:28,369 Which, well, sells travel books 58 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:31,747 and to be frank with you, doesn't always sell many of those. 59 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:36,711 Classic. 60 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:42,174 Profit from major sales push, minus £347. 61 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,430 Shall I go and get you a cappuccino? 62 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,558 - You know, ease the pain a bit. - Yeah. Yeah. 63 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,185 Better make it a half. All I can afford. 64 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,939 Get your logic. Demi-cappu coming right up. 65 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,342 Can I help you at all? 66 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,055 No, thanks, I'll just look around. 67 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,183 Fine. 68 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,151 That book's really not great. 69 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:46,489 Just in case browsing turned to buying, you'd be wasting your money. 70 00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:52,244 But if it's Turkey you're interested in, this one, on the other hand, is very good. 71 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:57,583 I think the man who wrote it has actually been to Turkey, which helps. 72 00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:00,669 There's also a very amusing incident with a kebab 73 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,589 which is one of many amusing incidents. 74 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,341 Thanks, I'll think about it. 75 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,177 Or, in the bigger hard-back variety, there's... 76 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,514 I'm sorry, can you just give me a second? 77 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:16,685 Excuse me. 78 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,522 - Yes? - Bad news. 79 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,607 What? 80 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:24,652 We've got a security camera in this bit of the shop. 81 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:26,237 So? 82 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,948 So I saw you put that book down your trousers. 83 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,828 - What book? - The one down your trousers. 84 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,373 I don't have a book down my trousers. 85 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:42,586 Right, I tell you what, I'll call the police 86 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:46,090 and what can I say, if I'm wrong about the whole book-down-the-trousers scenario, 87 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,633 I really apologise. 88 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:52,096 Okay. What if I did have a book down my trousers? 89 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,224 Well, ideally, when I went back to the desk 90 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:59,061 you'd remove the Cadogan Guide to Bali from your trousers 91 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:02,940 and either wipe it and put it back or buy it. 92 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,734 I'll see you in a sec. 93 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,445 I'm sorry about that. 94 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,614 No, it's fine. 95 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,702 I was gonna steal one but now I've changed my mind. 96 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,872 Signed by the author, I see. 97 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,333 Yeah, couldn't stop him. 98 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,962 If you can find an unsigned one, it's worth an absolute fortune. 99 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:27,798 - Excuse me. - Yes? 100 00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:29,592 Can I have your autograph? 101 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,428 - Sure. - Here. 102 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:35,973 - What's your name? - Rufus. 103 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,523 What does it say? 104 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:49,195 That's my signature, and above it, it says "Dear Rufus, you belong in jail." 105 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:50,779 Good one. 106 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,575 Do you want my phone number? 107 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,245 Tempting, but no. 108 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,247 Thank you. 109 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,502 I will take this one. 110 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,338 Oh, right, right. 111 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:12,092 So, well, on second thoughts maybe it's not that bad after all. 112 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,471 Actually it's a sort of classic, really. 113 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:19,808 None of those childish kebab stories you find in so many books these days. 114 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,562 I tell you what, I'll throw in one of those for free. 115 00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:28,525 Useful for lighting fires, wrapping fish, that sort of thing. 116 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,490 - Thanks. - Pleasure. 117 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,543 (DOOR CLOSING) 118 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:08,732 Here we are. Cappuccino, as ordered. 119 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,443 Thanks. 120 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:15,447 I don't think you'll believe who was just in here. 121 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,866 Who? Was it someone famous? 122 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,704 No, no, no. 123 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:25,874 Would be exciting though, wouldn't it, if someone famous came into the shop? 124 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:32,172 Do you know, this is pretty amazing actually, but I once saw Ringo Starr. 125 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:35,426 - Where was that? - Kensington High Street. 126 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,510 At least I think it was Ringo. 127 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:40,055 It might have been that man from Fiddler On The Roof. 128 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,391 - You know, Toppy. - Topol. 129 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,477 Yes, that's right. Topol. 130 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,567 Actually, Ringo Starr doesn't look at all like Topol. 131 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,361 Yeah, but he was quite a long way away from me. 132 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,614 So actually it could've been neither of them? 133 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,159 Yes, I suppose so, yes. 134 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:04,455 - It's not a classic anecdote, is it? - Not a classic, no. No. 135 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,836 Another one? 136 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:16,175 Yes. No! Let's go crazy. I'll have an orange juice. 137 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,142 - Okay, thanks. Bye-bye. - See you later. 138 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,317 (BOTH EXCLAIMING) 139 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,277 - Shit! Bugger! - Oh, my God! 140 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,279 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 141 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,032 - Here let me... - Get your hands off! 142 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,202 I'm really sorry. I live just over the street. 143 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:46,372 I have water and soap. You can get cleaned up. 144 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,208 No, thank you. I just need to get my car back. 145 00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,542 I also have a phone. 146 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,169 I'm confident that in five minutes 147 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,838 we can have you spick and span and back on the street again. 148 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,257 In the non-prostitute sense, obviously. 149 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,471 All right. 150 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:07,059 Well, what do you mean "just over the street"? Give it to me in yards. 151 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,854 Eighteen yards. That's my house there with the blue front door. 152 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,820 Come on in. I'll just, I'll just... 153 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:21,824 (MUMBLING) 154 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,368 Right. Right. 155 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:29,498 Come in. It's not quite as tidy as it normally is, I fear. 156 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:35,003 But the bathroom's on the top floor. And the telephone's just up here. 157 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,466 Here, let me... 158 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,893 Round the corner, straight on, straight on up. 159 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:54,690 Bugger! 160 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,114 (EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST) 161 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:20,883 - Would you like a cup of tea before you go? - No. 162 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,552 - Coffee? - No. 163 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,013 Orange juice? 164 00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,557 Probably not. 165 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,101 Something else cold? 166 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,231 Coke? Water? 167 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,443 Some disgusting sugary drink 168 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,653 pretending to have something to do with fruits of the forest? 169 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:42,738 No. 170 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,199 Would you like something to eat? 171 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:50,037 Something to nibble? Apricots soaked in honey? 172 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,331 Quite why, no one knows, 173 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:56,793 because it stops them tasting of apricots and makes them taste like honey, 174 00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:01,548 and if you wanted honey you'd just buy honey instead of apricots. 175 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:06,845 But nevertheless, there we go, they're yours if you want them. 176 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,263 No. 177 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,477 Do you always say "no" to everything? 178 00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:17,231 No. 179 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:24,363 I'd better be going. Thanks for your... help. 180 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:26,823 You're welcome. 181 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:31,578 And may I also say... heavenly. 182 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,624 I'll just take my one chance to say it. 183 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,708 After you've read that terrible book 184 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,795 you're certainly not gonna be coming back to the shop. 185 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:41,713 Thank you. 186 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,968 Yeah, well, my pleasure. 187 00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:01,775 So... it was nice to meet you. 188 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,862 Surreal but nice. 189 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:09,825 Sorry. 190 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,919 "Surreal but nice." What was I thinking? 191 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,927 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 192 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,100 - Hi. - Hi. 193 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,313 - I forgot my other bag. - Oh, right. Right. 194 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:45,527 (DOOR SHUTTING) 195 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,449 Thanks. 196 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:25,651 I'm very sorry about the "surreal but nice" comment. 197 00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,528 - Disaster. - That's okay. 198 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:32,824 I thought the apricot and honey thing was the real low point. 199 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,161 (DOOR KNOB CLATTERING) 200 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:40,624 Oh, my God. My flatmate. I'm sorry. There's no excuse for him. 201 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,334 (CLEARING THROAT) 202 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,420 - Hi. - Hi. 203 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,798 I'm just going into the kitchen to get some food. 204 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:52,594 Then I'm gonna tell you a story that will make your balls shrink to the size of raisins. 205 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,268 Probably best not to tell anyone about this. 206 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,605 Right. Right, no one. 207 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,068 I'll tell myself sometimes but, don't worry, I won't believe it. 208 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:16,952 - Bye. - Bye. 209 00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,134 There's something wrong with this yoghurt. 210 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:38,432 - It's not yoghurt. It's mayonnaise. - Oh, right. There we are then. 211 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,937 On for a videofest tonight? 212 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,108 I got some absolute classics. 213 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,697 - Smile. - No. 214 00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:01,455 - Smile. - I've got nothing to smile about. 215 00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:17,429 Okay, in about seven seconds I'm going to ask you to marry me. 216 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:31,109 Imagine... somewhere in the world there's a man who's allowed to kiss her. 217 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:40,118 She is... fairly fabulous. 218 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,464 - Do you have any books by Dickens? - No. 219 00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:57,052 No, I'm afraid we're a travel bookshop. We only sell travel books. 220 00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:01,765 Oh, right. How about the new John Grisham thriller? 221 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:06,770 Well, no, because that's a novel too, isn't it? 222 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,231 Oh, right. 223 00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,234 (SIGHING) 224 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,904 Have you got Winnie-the-Pooh? 225 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:21,993 - Martin, your customer. - Can I help you? 226 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,376 (MUSIC PLAYING) 227 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:37,092 - Hey. - Hi. 228 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:47,060 Just, incidentally, why are you wearing that? 229 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,688 Combination of factors really. 230 00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:51,523 No clean clothes... 231 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:55,443 There never will be, you know, unless you actually clean your clothes. 232 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,946 - Vicious circle. - Yeah. 233 00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:02,826 And I was, like, rooting round in your things and I found this and I thought, "Cool." 234 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,162 Kinda spacey. 235 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:12,794 There's something wrong with the goggles, though. 236 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,255 No, they were prescription. 237 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:19,009 - Groovy. - So I could see all the fishes properly. 238 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,636 You should do more of this stuff. 239 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:25,265 - So, look, any messages today? - Yeah, I wrote a couple down. 240 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,394 So there were two, there were two messages? Right? 241 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:34,816 You want me to write down all your messages? 242 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:39,487 Okay. Who are the ones that you didn't write down from? 243 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,116 No, gone completely. 244 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,409 Oh, no, there was one from your mum. 245 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,412 She said don't forget lunch, and her leg's hurting again. 246 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,789 - No one else? - Absolutely no one else. 247 00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:56,671 Though if we're going for this obsessive writing-down-all-the-message thing, 248 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,674 some American girl called Anna called a few days ago. 249 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:06,973 What did she say? 250 00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,558 Well, it was genuinely bizarre. 251 00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:13,855 She said, "Hi, it's Anna." Then she said, "Call me at The Ritz." 252 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,109 And then gave herself a completely different name. 253 00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:21,363 - Which was? - Absolutely no idea. 254 00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:24,282 Remembering one name's hard enough. 255 00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:28,954 No, I know that. She said that. I know she's using another name. 256 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:32,290 The problem is she left the message with my flatmate 257 00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:34,459 which was a very serious mistake. 258 00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:38,838 Imagine, if you will, the stupidest person you've ever met. 259 00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:40,632 Are you doing that? 260 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,759 Yes, sir, I have him in my mind. 261 00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:43,969 And now double it. 262 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:49,015 And that is the, what can I say, the git that I am living with. 263 00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:52,477 - And he can't remember this other... - Try Flintstone. 264 00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:56,523 - Sorry. What? - I think she said her name was Flintstone. 265 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:03,989 I don't suppose Flintstone rings any bells, does it? 266 00:22:04,073 --> 00:22:06,741 - I'll put you right through, sir. - Oh, my God. 267 00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:12,789 Hello. Hi. 268 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,084 Hi. 269 00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:20,296 Hi. Sorry. It's William Thacker. 270 00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:24,134 - ANNA: Yes? - We... I work in a bookshop. 271 00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:28,096 You played it pretty cool there, waiting for three days to call. 272 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:31,433 Oh, no, I promise you I've never played anything cool in my entire life. 273 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:35,270 My flatmate, who I'll stab to death later, never gave me the message. 274 00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:38,398 I don't know. Perhaps 275 00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:42,485 I could drop round for tea later or something? 276 00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:45,989 Things are pretty busy here. I might be free around 4:00. 277 00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:48,324 Right. Right. Great. 278 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,244 - Bye. - Bye. 279 00:22:57,460 --> 00:23:05,300 Classic. 280 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,412 (PIANO PLAYING) 281 00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,091 - Which floor? - Three, please. 282 00:23:52,223 --> 00:23:53,765 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGING) 283 00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:19,916 - Are you sure? - Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. 284 00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:36,057 Hi. Hi. I'm Karen. I'm sorry, things are running a little bit late. 285 00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:38,726 Here's the thing. Do you wanna come this way? 286 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:42,230 Through here. 287 00:24:47,403 --> 00:24:50,947 - So what did you think of the film? - Yeah, I thought it was fantastic. 288 00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:55,034 I thought it was Close Encounters meets Jean de Florette. 289 00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,330 I agree. 290 00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:03,126 I'm sorry, I didn't get down what magazines you're from. 291 00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:05,420 - Time Out. - Great. 292 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,255 And you're from? 293 00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:15,638 Horse & Hound. 294 00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:23,938 The name's William Thacker. Actually, she might be expecting me. 295 00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:26,524 Oh, okay. Take a seat and I'll go check. 296 00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:34,032 I see you've... I see you've brought her some flowers. 297 00:25:34,116 --> 00:25:35,241 (LAUGHING) 298 00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:39,204 No. These are for my grandmother. 299 00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,957 She's in a hospital down the road. 300 00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:45,543 Thought I'd kill two birds with one stone, you know. 301 00:25:45,628 --> 00:25:47,545 Sure, right. Absolutely, yeah. 302 00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,382 Which hospital's that? 303 00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:56,304 Do you mind me not saying? It's a rather distressing thing, isn't it? 304 00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:57,722 Name of the hospital kind of gives it away. 305 00:25:57,806 --> 00:25:59,557 - Absolutely. Sure. - Cheers. 306 00:26:01,644 --> 00:26:05,563 - Right. Mr Thacker, if you come this way. - Right. 307 00:26:07,608 --> 00:26:09,317 You've got five minutes. 308 00:26:18,744 --> 00:26:20,495 - Hi. - Hello. 309 00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,333 I brought these, but clearly... 310 00:26:26,126 --> 00:26:28,836 No, they're great. They're great. 311 00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,090 I'm sorry about not ringing back. 312 00:26:32,174 --> 00:26:34,425 The whole "two names" concept 313 00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:37,095 was totally too much for my flatmate's pea-sized intellect. 314 00:26:37,179 --> 00:26:40,932 No, it's a stupid privacy thing. I always pick a cartoon character. 315 00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:43,351 Last time I was Mrs Bambi. 316 00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:44,769 (DOOR CLOSING) 317 00:26:47,106 --> 00:26:49,315 - Everything all right? - Yes, thank you. 318 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,442 And you're from Horse & Hound? 319 00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:54,153 Good. 320 00:26:55,364 --> 00:26:56,489 Is that so? Well. 321 00:27:04,164 --> 00:27:05,206 So, 322 00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:13,673 I'll just fire away, then, shall I? 323 00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:17,010 Right. 324 00:27:21,223 --> 00:27:22,598 The film's great, 325 00:27:22,683 --> 00:27:26,352 and I just was wondering whether 326 00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:33,818 you ever thought of having more... horses in it? 327 00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:35,153 (CLEARING THROAT) 328 00:27:38,324 --> 00:27:40,283 Well, we would have liked to, 329 00:27:40,367 --> 00:27:45,413 but it was difficult, obviously, being set in space. 330 00:27:47,124 --> 00:27:50,084 Space, right, yeah. Yeah, obviously very difficult. 331 00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:53,713 I'm so sorry. 332 00:27:53,797 --> 00:27:55,757 I arrived outside, they thrust this thing into my hand. 333 00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:58,718 No, it's my fault. I thought this would all be over by now. 334 00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:02,305 I just wanted to sort of apologise for the kissing thing. 335 00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:04,432 I seriously don't know what came over me. 336 00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:07,602 I just wanted to make sure that you were fine about it. 337 00:28:09,897 --> 00:28:13,191 Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely fine. 338 00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:14,275 (DOOR CLOSING) 339 00:28:16,070 --> 00:28:19,197 Do remember that Miss Scott is also keen to talk about her next project 340 00:28:19,281 --> 00:28:21,949 which she is shooting later in the summer. 341 00:28:23,285 --> 00:28:25,870 Yes, excellent. Excellent. 342 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,628 Any horses in that one? 343 00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:39,592 Or hounds for that matter? Our readers are equally intrigued by both species. 344 00:28:41,762 --> 00:28:43,679 It takes place on a submarine. 345 00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:47,350 Well, bad luck. 346 00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:53,523 But if there were horses in it 347 00:28:54,566 --> 00:29:00,780 would you be riding them or would you be getting a stunt-horse-double-man-thing? 348 00:29:03,492 --> 00:29:05,076 (SIGHING) 349 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,079 I'm a complete moron. I apologise. 350 00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:10,081 This is very weird. 351 00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:13,626 It's the sort of thing that happens in dreams, not in real life. 352 00:29:14,211 --> 00:29:20,842 I mean, good dreams. It's a dream, in fact, to see you again. 353 00:29:23,387 --> 00:29:25,388 What happens next in the dream? 354 00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:34,021 I suppose that in the dream, "dream scenario," 355 00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:37,692 I just change my personality 356 00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:40,528 because you can do that in dreams 357 00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:48,744 and walk over and kiss the girl. But... 358 00:29:57,004 --> 00:29:58,379 (DOOR OPENING) 359 00:29:59,381 --> 00:30:02,216 Time's up, I'm afraid. Did you get what you wanted? 360 00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:07,013 - Nearly, nearly. - Well, maybe just one last question. 361 00:30:08,891 --> 00:30:11,559 - Sure. - Right, right. 362 00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:14,061 (DOOR CLOSING) 363 00:30:14,897 --> 00:30:18,065 Are you busy tonight? 364 00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:22,403 - Yes. - Right. Right. 365 00:30:25,199 --> 00:30:26,282 Come in. 366 00:30:26,617 --> 00:30:30,411 - Well, it was nice to meet you. - Yes, and you. 367 00:30:31,288 --> 00:30:33,080 Surreal but nice. 368 00:30:34,583 --> 00:30:35,666 Thank you. 369 00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:39,170 You are Horse & Hound's favourite actress. 370 00:30:40,589 --> 00:30:42,924 You and Black Beauty tied. 371 00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:50,765 Hang on, don't go. How was she? 372 00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,561 - Fabulous. - Excellent. 373 00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:58,731 Wait a minute, she took your grandmother's flowers. 374 00:30:59,650 --> 00:31:03,486 Yeah, yeah. That's right. Bitch. 375 00:31:03,946 --> 00:31:08,741 Mr Thacker. If you'd like to come with me we can just rush you through the others. 376 00:31:09,910 --> 00:31:12,870 - The others? - Mr Thacker is from Horse & Hound. 377 00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:18,751 - How's it going? - Very well. Thank you. 378 00:31:18,835 --> 00:31:20,002 Have a seat. 379 00:31:22,631 --> 00:31:24,507 Well, did you enjoy the film? 380 00:31:25,634 --> 00:31:27,969 Yes. Enormously. 381 00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,596 - Well, fire away. - Right. 382 00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:36,060 - Did you enjoy making the film? - Yes, I did. 383 00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:38,145 Good. 384 00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,440 Any bit in particular? 385 00:31:41,525 --> 00:31:44,235 You tell me what "bit" you enjoyed the most 386 00:31:44,319 --> 00:31:47,071 and I'll tell you if I enjoyed making that "bit." 387 00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,367 (STUTTERING) 388 00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:55,037 I... liked the bit in space. 389 00:31:56,665 --> 00:31:57,873 Very much. 390 00:31:59,543 --> 00:32:02,420 Did you identify with the character you're playing? 391 00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:05,006 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 392 00:32:06,091 --> 00:32:09,844 No. 393 00:32:11,471 --> 00:32:12,471 Oh. 394 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,391 Why not? 395 00:32:22,316 --> 00:32:25,359 Because he's playing a psychopathic flesh-eating robot. 396 00:32:25,986 --> 00:32:26,986 Classic. 397 00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:33,451 So, is this your first film? 398 00:32:33,535 --> 00:32:35,911 No, it's my 22nd. 399 00:32:36,204 --> 00:32:37,538 Of course it is. 400 00:32:38,749 --> 00:32:40,875 Any favourites among the 22? 401 00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:44,920 - Working with Leonardo. - Da Vinci? 402 00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:48,549 - DiCaprio. - Of course. 403 00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:50,134 (CHUCKLING) 404 00:32:51,595 --> 00:32:54,055 And is he your favourite Italian director? 405 00:32:55,057 --> 00:32:56,849 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 406 00:32:59,728 --> 00:33:01,771 - Mr Thacker? - Oh, no. 407 00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:04,732 - Have you got a minute? - No. 408 00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:16,744 Hi. 409 00:33:18,747 --> 00:33:20,748 (STUTTERING) Yeah, so the... 410 00:33:21,667 --> 00:33:24,627 The thing I was doing tonight I'm not doing any more. 411 00:33:25,295 --> 00:33:30,758 I told them I had to spend the evening with Britain's premier equestrian journalist. 412 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,597 Well, great. Fantastic. That's... 413 00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:42,395 Shittity brickity. It's my sister's birthday. Shit. 414 00:33:42,479 --> 00:33:45,022 - We're meant to be having dinner. - Okay, that's fine. 415 00:33:45,107 --> 00:33:46,857 No, I'm sure I can get out of it. 416 00:33:46,942 --> 00:33:50,444 No, I mean, if it's fine with you, I'll be your date. 417 00:33:52,155 --> 00:33:57,201 You'll be my date to my little sister's birthday party? 418 00:33:58,453 --> 00:34:01,622 - Lf it's all right. - Well, yeah, I'm sure it's all right. 419 00:34:02,165 --> 00:34:03,457 My friend Max is cooking 420 00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:07,128 and he is generally acknowledged to be the worst cook in the world, 421 00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:11,382 but you could hide the food in your handbag or something. 422 00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:14,343 - Okay. - Okay. 423 00:34:17,806 --> 00:34:20,766 - He's bringing a girl? - Miracles do happen. 424 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:24,937 - Does the girl have a name? - Don't know, wouldn't say. 425 00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:28,315 Oh Christ, what is going on in there? 426 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:29,692 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 427 00:34:29,776 --> 00:34:31,485 Oh, God! 428 00:34:34,489 --> 00:34:36,615 Hi, come on in. Vague food crisis. 429 00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:44,415 Hiya. 430 00:34:44,499 --> 00:34:48,502 Sorry, the guinea-fowl is proving more complicated than expected. 431 00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:51,589 - He's cooking guinea-fowl? - Don't even ask. 432 00:34:52,382 --> 00:34:53,382 - Hi. - Hi. 433 00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:58,637 - Good Lord, you're the spitting image of... - Bella, this is Anna. 434 00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:02,975 - Right. - Okay, crisis over. 435 00:35:03,059 --> 00:35:04,477 Max, this is Anna. 436 00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:09,940 - Hi. - Hello, Anna... Scott. 437 00:35:11,318 --> 00:35:13,194 - Have some wine. - Thank you. 438 00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:14,820 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 439 00:35:14,905 --> 00:35:16,071 I'll get it. 440 00:35:20,327 --> 00:35:21,535 Red or white? 441 00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:23,537 - Hi. - Hi. 442 00:35:25,165 --> 00:35:27,666 - Oh yes, happy birthday. - Thank you. 443 00:35:27,751 --> 00:35:30,294 Look, your brother's brought this girl... 444 00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:31,754 Hi, guys. 445 00:35:32,214 --> 00:35:33,672 Holy fuck! 446 00:35:34,382 --> 00:35:38,219 Honey, this is Anna. Anna, this is Honey. She's my baby sister. 447 00:35:39,721 --> 00:35:41,096 - Hi. - Oh, God. 448 00:35:41,181 --> 00:35:44,642 This is one of those key moments in life when it's possible 449 00:35:44,726 --> 00:35:51,357 you can be really genuinely cool and I'm going to fail just 100%. 450 00:35:53,235 --> 00:35:57,655 I absolutely, totally and utterly adore you. 451 00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:02,785 And I just think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. 452 00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:05,538 And more importantly, I genuinely believe, 453 00:36:05,622 --> 00:36:10,751 and I've believed for some time now, that we could be best friends. 454 00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:12,711 So what do you think? 455 00:36:16,758 --> 00:36:17,758 Lucky me. 456 00:36:19,344 --> 00:36:20,344 (CLEARING THROAT) 457 00:36:20,971 --> 00:36:24,098 - Happy birthday. - Oh, you gave me a present. 458 00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:27,476 We're best friends already then. 459 00:36:27,561 --> 00:36:30,813 Marry Will, he's a really nice guy, then we can be sisters. 460 00:36:31,273 --> 00:36:32,940 I'll think about it. 461 00:36:33,817 --> 00:36:34,859 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 462 00:36:34,943 --> 00:36:36,318 That'll be Bernie. 463 00:36:38,655 --> 00:36:40,865 - Hi. - Hi. Sorry I'm late. 464 00:36:40,949 --> 00:36:43,117 Bollocksed up at work again, I fear. 465 00:36:44,286 --> 00:36:46,495 - Millions down the drain. - Well done. 466 00:36:46,788 --> 00:36:48,038 Bernie, this is Anna. 467 00:36:48,123 --> 00:36:50,374 - Hello, Anna. Delighted to meet you. - And you. 468 00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:53,794 Honey bunny, happy birthday to you. 469 00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:55,880 - Hi, Bella. - Hi. 470 00:36:57,090 --> 00:36:59,884 It's a hat. You don't have to wear it or anything. 471 00:37:00,385 --> 00:37:02,344 - Hi, Will. - Hi. 472 00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:04,930 Hi. 473 00:37:06,308 --> 00:37:07,808 - Hi. - What? 474 00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:10,477 Wine, Bernie? 475 00:37:11,813 --> 00:37:13,147 You haven't slept with her, have you? 476 00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,649 That is a cheap question and the answer is, of course, no comment. 477 00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:17,568 - No comment means "yes." - No, it doesn't. 478 00:37:17,652 --> 00:37:19,486 - Do you ever masturbate? - Definitely no comment. 479 00:37:19,571 --> 00:37:21,238 You see, it means "yes." 480 00:37:21,323 --> 00:37:22,448 (LAUGHING) Oh, my God! 481 00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:26,660 So, tell me, Anna, what do you do? 482 00:37:28,330 --> 00:37:30,372 - I'm an actress. - Oh, splendid. 483 00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:34,293 - What do you do? - I'm actually in the stock market myself. 484 00:37:34,377 --> 00:37:36,879 So... not really similar fields. 485 00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:40,132 Though I have done the odd bit of amateur stuff. 486 00:37:41,343 --> 00:37:44,720 P. G. Wodehouse. Farce, all that, you know. 487 00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:46,430 "Careful there, vicar." 488 00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:47,514 (CHUCKLING) 489 00:37:48,767 --> 00:37:50,726 Always imagined it's a pretty tough job, though, acting. 490 00:37:50,810 --> 00:37:53,103 I mean, the wages are a scandal, aren't they? 491 00:37:53,188 --> 00:37:54,730 They can be. 492 00:37:54,814 --> 00:37:58,317 I see friends from university, clever chaps, been in the business longer than you. 493 00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:02,154 They're scraping by on seven, eight thousand a year. 494 00:38:03,531 --> 00:38:04,990 It's no life. 495 00:38:05,951 --> 00:38:09,995 - What sort of acting do you do? - Films mainly. 496 00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:14,625 Splendid. Oh, well done. How's the pay in movies? 497 00:38:16,544 --> 00:38:19,755 I mean, last film you did, what did you get paid? 498 00:38:20,674 --> 00:38:22,341 $15 million. 499 00:38:24,010 --> 00:38:25,010 Right. 500 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:30,349 So that's... well, fairly good. 501 00:38:30,433 --> 00:38:32,226 Right, I think we're ready. 502 00:38:33,937 --> 00:38:35,854 Bella, can you tell me where I can find... 503 00:38:35,939 --> 00:38:38,482 Oh, sorry, yeah, yeah. It's down the corridor on the right. 504 00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:40,442 I'll show you. I'll show you. 505 00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:47,658 Quickly, quickly, quickly. Talk very quickly. What are you doing here with Anna Scott? 506 00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:50,494 - Anna Scott? What, the film star? - Yes. Shut up. 507 00:38:50,578 --> 00:38:51,829 Shh. 508 00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:53,872 - Oh, God! - What? 509 00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:57,501 - Oh, God. Oh, goddy God. - What did you say to her? 510 00:38:57,585 --> 00:39:00,879 I don't believe it. I don't believe it. I actually walked into the loo with her. 511 00:39:00,964 --> 00:39:03,507 I was still chatting when she started unbuttoning herjeans. 512 00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:06,051 - She had to ask me to leave. - Oh, God. 513 00:39:06,136 --> 00:39:07,970 So you knew who she was? 514 00:39:08,054 --> 00:39:10,055 Of course I did, but he didn't! 515 00:39:10,932 --> 00:39:14,727 Well, not instantly, but I got away with it though. 516 00:39:15,645 --> 00:39:17,896 (CHATTING) 517 00:39:17,981 --> 00:39:20,274 What do you think of the guinea-fowl? 518 00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:23,485 - I'm a vegetarian. - Oh, God. 519 00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:27,239 So, how's the guinea-fowl? 520 00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:31,035 Best guinea-fowl I've ever tasted. 521 00:39:31,494 --> 00:39:34,038 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 522 00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:45,132 (BELLA LAUGHING) 523 00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:55,768 (CLAPPING) 524 00:40:00,982 --> 00:40:02,274 (CRACKERS POPPING) 525 00:40:02,859 --> 00:40:04,318 (ALL SHOUTING) 526 00:40:05,612 --> 00:40:09,156 Having you here, Anna, firmly establishes what I've long suspected, 527 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:12,201 that we really are the most desperate lot of under-achievers. 528 00:40:12,285 --> 00:40:15,079 - WILLIAM: Shame. - I'm not saying it's a bad thing. 529 00:40:15,163 --> 00:40:18,290 In fact, I think it's something we should take pride in. 530 00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:23,796 I'm gonna give the last brownie as a prize to the saddest act here. 531 00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:26,632 Bern. 532 00:40:26,716 --> 00:40:27,841 (ALL LAUGHING) 533 00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:30,094 Well, obviously it's me, isn't it? 534 00:40:30,178 --> 00:40:33,514 I mean, I work in the city in a job I don't understand 535 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,141 and everyone keeps getting promoted above me. 536 00:40:36,226 --> 00:40:39,103 I haven't had a girlfriend since, well, since puberty. 537 00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:41,897 And nobody fancies me. 538 00:40:42,524 --> 00:40:44,441 And if these cheeks get any chubbier, they never will. 539 00:40:44,526 --> 00:40:46,485 Nonsense. I fancy you. 540 00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:49,154 - Really? - HONEY: Yeah. 541 00:40:49,697 --> 00:40:52,533 - Or I did before you got so fat. - MAX: You see. 542 00:40:52,617 --> 00:40:56,703 And unless I'm much mistaken yourjob still pays you rather a lot of money 543 00:40:56,788 --> 00:40:58,956 whilst Honey here earns 20 pence a week 544 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,291 flogging her guts out in London's worst record store. 545 00:41:01,376 --> 00:41:02,626 Yes! 546 00:41:02,710 --> 00:41:05,295 And I haven't got hair, I've got feathers. 547 00:41:05,380 --> 00:41:09,216 And I've got funny goggly eyes and I'm attracted to cruel men. 548 00:41:10,093 --> 00:41:14,888 Actually, no one will marry me because my boosies have actually started shrinking. 549 00:41:14,973 --> 00:41:16,640 MAX: You see, it's incredibly sad. 550 00:41:16,724 --> 00:41:18,809 Yeah, but on the other hand her best friend is Anna Scott. 551 00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:22,146 That's true, I can't deny it. She needs me. What can I say? 552 00:41:22,230 --> 00:41:23,480 (ALL LAUGHING) 553 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:27,943 And most of her limbs work whereas I'm stuck in this thing day and night, 554 00:41:28,027 --> 00:41:29,736 in a house full of ramps. 555 00:41:29,988 --> 00:41:32,156 And to add insult to serious injury 556 00:41:33,658 --> 00:41:36,910 I've totally given up smoking, my favourite thing. 557 00:41:40,582 --> 00:41:43,917 Well, the truth is, we can't have a baby. 558 00:41:50,592 --> 00:41:51,758 WILLIAM: Oh, Belle... 559 00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:53,510 (SIGHING) 560 00:41:53,595 --> 00:41:55,095 C'est la vie. 561 00:41:58,641 --> 00:42:01,226 Still, we're lucky in lots of ways. 562 00:42:02,103 --> 00:42:04,271 But, surely that's worth a brownie. 563 00:42:06,733 --> 00:42:08,233 Well, I don't know. 564 00:42:09,694 --> 00:42:11,069 Look at William. 565 00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:14,656 - Very unsuccessful professionally. - That's true. 566 00:42:14,741 --> 00:42:15,782 Divorced. 567 00:42:16,659 --> 00:42:19,828 Used to be handsome, now kind of squidgy round the edges. 568 00:42:19,913 --> 00:42:21,246 (ALL LAUGHING) 569 00:42:21,331 --> 00:42:23,373 And absolutely certain never to hear from Anna again 570 00:42:23,458 --> 00:42:26,627 once she's heard that his nickname at school was Floppy. 571 00:42:27,212 --> 00:42:29,463 You did. I can't believe it, you did. 572 00:42:30,506 --> 00:42:32,174 Thanks very much. Thank you. 573 00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:35,093 - Well at least I get the last brownie, right? - MAX: I think so, yes. 574 00:42:35,178 --> 00:42:36,929 Well, wait, what about me? 575 00:42:39,474 --> 00:42:40,557 I'm sorry? 576 00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:43,852 You think you deserve the brownie? 577 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,649 - Well, a shot at it at least, huh? - Right, well, you'll have to prove it. 578 00:42:48,733 --> 00:42:52,486 I mean, this is a very, very good brownie and I'm gonna fight for it. 579 00:42:53,655 --> 00:42:56,531 I've been on a diet every day since I was 19 580 00:42:57,033 --> 00:43:00,285 which basically means I've been hungry for a decade. 581 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:06,083 I've had a series of not nice boyfriends, one of whom hit me. 582 00:43:07,669 --> 00:43:09,169 And every time I get my heart broken, 583 00:43:09,254 --> 00:43:14,091 the newspapers splash it about as though it's entertainment. 584 00:43:15,510 --> 00:43:22,349 And it's taken two rather painful operations to get me looking like this. 585 00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:24,851 - Really? - Really. 586 00:43:28,523 --> 00:43:31,275 And one day, not long from now 587 00:43:31,859 --> 00:43:35,529 my looks will go, they will discover I can't act 588 00:43:36,364 --> 00:43:41,201 and I will become some sad, middle-aged woman who 589 00:43:42,495 --> 00:43:45,372 looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while. 590 00:43:54,090 --> 00:43:56,925 No, nice try, gorgeous, but you don't fool anyone. 591 00:43:57,010 --> 00:43:58,135 (ALL LAUGHING) 592 00:43:59,012 --> 00:44:01,179 Pathetic effort to hog the brownie. 593 00:44:02,932 --> 00:44:05,851 - Thank you for such a terrific time. - I'm delighted. 594 00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:10,397 - That's a great tie. - Now you're lying. 595 00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:12,816 Okay, it's true. I told you I was bad at acting. 596 00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:15,319 - It was lovely to meet you. - Yeah. And you. 597 00:44:15,403 --> 00:44:18,655 I'll wait until you've gone before I tell him you're a vegetarian. 598 00:44:18,740 --> 00:44:19,740 No! 599 00:44:23,619 --> 00:44:26,496 - Goodnight. - I'm sorry about the loo thing. 600 00:44:26,581 --> 00:44:28,540 I meant to leave but I just... 601 00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:31,335 Look, ring me if you want someone to go shopping with. 602 00:44:31,419 --> 00:44:33,003 I know lots of nice, cheap places. 603 00:44:33,087 --> 00:44:35,505 I mean, not that money is necessarily... 604 00:44:35,673 --> 00:44:37,007 It was just so nice to meet you. 605 00:44:37,091 --> 00:44:38,300 - Happy birthday. - Thank you. 606 00:44:38,384 --> 00:44:40,010 You're my style guru. 607 00:44:40,428 --> 00:44:41,928 Sorry, can I just... 608 00:44:43,598 --> 00:44:46,183 - Leave her. - ANNA: Goodnight, everyone. 609 00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:49,144 WILLIAM: Max, Belle, we'll see you in a couple of days. 610 00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:53,023 - BELLA: Bye, guys. - Bye, Anna. 611 00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:55,275 Love your work. 612 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:56,943 - WILLIAM: Goodnight. - Goodnight. 613 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,031 (ALL SCREAMING) 614 00:45:04,786 --> 00:45:07,871 Sorry. They always do that when I leave the house. 615 00:45:07,955 --> 00:45:11,291 It's a stupid thing. I hate it. 616 00:45:22,053 --> 00:45:25,430 - Floppy, huh? - It's the hair. It's to do with the hair. 617 00:45:29,435 --> 00:45:31,228 Why is she in a wheelchair? 618 00:45:32,355 --> 00:45:35,941 Because she had an accident about 18 months ago. 619 00:45:36,943 --> 00:45:39,820 And the pregnancy thing, is that to do with the accident? 620 00:45:39,904 --> 00:45:40,904 You know, I'm not sure. 621 00:45:40,988 --> 00:45:44,491 I don't think they tried for kids before, as fate would have it. 622 00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:54,626 Do you want to... 623 00:45:56,629 --> 00:45:58,088 My place is just... 624 00:45:59,465 --> 00:46:00,841 Too complicated. 625 00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:02,968 That's fine. 626 00:46:09,142 --> 00:46:10,517 Busy tomorrow? 627 00:46:13,229 --> 00:46:15,814 - I thought you were leaving tomorrow. - I was. 628 00:46:19,527 --> 00:46:20,652 All these streets round here 629 00:46:20,736 --> 00:46:23,613 have these mysterious communal gardens in the middle of them. 630 00:46:23,698 --> 00:46:26,199 - They're like little villages. - Let's go in. 631 00:46:26,576 --> 00:46:28,743 No, that's the point. They're private villages. 632 00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:31,955 Only the people who live round the edges are allowed in. 633 00:46:32,957 --> 00:46:37,461 - You abide by rules like that? - I don't, no, no, but others do. 634 00:46:37,545 --> 00:46:39,254 And I just do what I want. 635 00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:43,550 Right. 636 00:46:45,386 --> 00:46:46,386 (GRUNTING) 637 00:46:46,471 --> 00:46:47,846 Whoopsidaisies. 638 00:46:47,930 --> 00:46:49,389 (LAUGHING) 639 00:46:49,724 --> 00:46:51,349 What did you say? 640 00:46:52,518 --> 00:46:54,186 - Nothing. - Yes, you did. 641 00:46:55,438 --> 00:46:58,231 - No, I didn't. - You said "whoopsidaisies." 642 00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:01,485 No one says "whoopsidaisies," do they? I mean, unless they're... 643 00:47:01,569 --> 00:47:02,527 There is no "unless." 644 00:47:02,612 --> 00:47:04,988 Because no one has said "whoopsidaisies" for 50 years. 645 00:47:05,072 --> 00:47:09,451 And even then it was just little girls with blonde ringlets. 646 00:47:09,535 --> 00:47:11,286 Exactly. Right. 647 00:47:12,580 --> 00:47:14,080 So here we go again. 648 00:47:14,165 --> 00:47:15,207 (GRUNTING) 649 00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:16,625 (EXCLAIMING) 650 00:47:16,709 --> 00:47:18,001 Whoopsidaisies. 651 00:47:18,085 --> 00:47:19,252 (LAUGHING) 652 00:47:20,379 --> 00:47:22,380 Yeah, well, it's a disease. It's a clinical thing. 653 00:47:22,465 --> 00:47:26,051 I'm taking pills and having injections. And I'm told it won't last long so... 654 00:47:26,135 --> 00:47:29,179 - Okay, stand aside. - I don't think that's a good idea. 655 00:47:30,014 --> 00:47:32,766 Really, it's quite tricky. Anna. 656 00:47:34,393 --> 00:47:38,063 Anna, don't, it's harder than it... No, it's not. It's easy. 657 00:47:46,906 --> 00:47:48,281 Come on, Flopsy. 658 00:47:49,450 --> 00:47:51,493 Right. Right! 659 00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:56,957 Oh, bugger. 660 00:47:58,543 --> 00:48:00,835 Oh, God. This could be very unpleasant. 661 00:48:05,132 --> 00:48:06,132 (GROANING) 662 00:48:06,676 --> 00:48:08,051 Bugger, bugger. 663 00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:12,472 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 664 00:48:12,557 --> 00:48:16,476 Now what in the world in this garden could make that ordeal worthwhile? 665 00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:32,701 Nice garden. 666 00:48:44,171 --> 00:48:45,505 (ANNA LAUGHING) 667 00:49:05,651 --> 00:49:11,531 "For June who loved this garden, from Joseph who always sat beside her." 668 00:49:16,329 --> 00:49:19,039 Some people do spend their whole lives together. 669 00:49:53,658 --> 00:49:55,200 Come and sit with me. 670 00:50:08,589 --> 00:50:10,924 Bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks! 671 00:50:11,008 --> 00:50:14,135 - Have you seen my glasses? - No, afraid not. 672 00:50:14,220 --> 00:50:16,304 Big, big bollocks! 673 00:50:16,389 --> 00:50:20,100 Average day, my glasses are everywhere. Everywhere I look there's a pair of glasses. 674 00:50:20,184 --> 00:50:22,310 But when I want to go to the cinema they've vanished. 675 00:50:22,395 --> 00:50:24,354 It's one of life's real cruelties. 676 00:50:24,438 --> 00:50:28,817 That's compared to, like, earthquakes in the Far East or testicular cancer, is it? 677 00:50:29,318 --> 00:50:31,111 Oh, shit, is that the time? 678 00:50:33,072 --> 00:50:35,073 Thanks for all your help on the glasses thing. 679 00:50:35,157 --> 00:50:37,409 Oh, you're welcome. Did you find them? 680 00:50:37,493 --> 00:50:39,452 - Sort of. - Great. 681 00:51:09,817 --> 00:51:13,194 - So who left who? - She left me. 682 00:51:13,738 --> 00:51:14,738 Why? 683 00:51:15,823 --> 00:51:19,576 - She saw through me. - That's not good. 684 00:51:20,995 --> 00:51:23,163 You can give me Anna Scott any day. 685 00:51:23,998 --> 00:51:26,791 I didn't like her last film. Fell asleep as soon as the lights went down. 686 00:51:26,876 --> 00:51:29,085 I don't really care what the film's like. 687 00:51:29,170 --> 00:51:31,755 Any film with her in, it's fine by me. 688 00:51:31,839 --> 00:51:33,131 (ALL LAUGHING) 689 00:51:33,215 --> 00:51:35,800 MAN 2: She's not my type at all. I prefer that other one. 690 00:51:35,885 --> 00:51:38,219 You know, blonde, sweet looking. 691 00:51:39,180 --> 00:51:40,263 You know, what's her name? 692 00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:43,099 Has an orgasm every time you take her out for a cup of coffee. 693 00:51:43,184 --> 00:51:44,434 Meg Ryan. 694 00:51:45,186 --> 00:51:46,436 No, she's too wholesome. 695 00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:50,482 You see, the point about Miss Scott is she's got that twinkle in her eye. 696 00:51:51,692 --> 00:51:54,402 Probably drug-induced. Spends most of her life in bloody rehab. 697 00:51:54,487 --> 00:51:56,946 Well, whatever. She's so clearly up for it. 698 00:51:57,031 --> 00:52:00,575 I mean, you see, most girls, they're all like, "Stay away, chum." 699 00:52:01,202 --> 00:52:04,287 She is absolutely gagging for it. 700 00:52:05,790 --> 00:52:08,583 Do you know that in over 50% of languages 701 00:52:08,667 --> 00:52:11,795 the word for "actress" is the same as the word for "prostitute"? 702 00:52:11,879 --> 00:52:14,214 MAN 2: Where did you get that from? 703 00:52:14,298 --> 00:52:15,924 (ALL LAUGHING) 704 00:52:16,008 --> 00:52:19,219 And Anna is your definitive actress, 705 00:52:20,221 --> 00:52:23,723 someone really filthy you can just flip over and start again. 706 00:52:25,684 --> 00:52:29,062 - Right, that's it. Sorry. - No, no. There's really no point. 707 00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:31,147 (LAUGHING) 708 00:52:32,608 --> 00:52:34,692 Sorry, sorry to disturb you guys but... 709 00:52:34,777 --> 00:52:36,569 - Can I help? - Well, yeah. 710 00:52:36,654 --> 00:52:39,739 I wish I hadn't overheard your conversation, but I did. 711 00:52:39,824 --> 00:52:45,078 And, I just think, you know the person you're talking about is a real person 712 00:52:45,162 --> 00:52:48,164 and I think she probably deserves a little bit more consideration 713 00:52:48,249 --> 00:52:51,751 rather than having jerks like you drooling over her. 714 00:52:51,836 --> 00:52:54,796 Oh, sod off, mate. What are you, her dad? 715 00:52:56,048 --> 00:52:57,674 (ALL LAUGHING) 716 00:53:02,012 --> 00:53:04,138 - I'm sorry. - No, I love that you tried. 717 00:53:04,223 --> 00:53:07,058 Time was I'd have done the same thing. In fact... 718 00:53:13,274 --> 00:53:14,274 Hi. 719 00:53:15,442 --> 00:53:16,818 Oh, my God! 720 00:53:17,152 --> 00:53:20,613 I just wanted to apologise for my friend. He's very sensitive. 721 00:53:21,365 --> 00:53:24,701 No, no, no, leave it. I'm sure you didn't mean any harm. 722 00:53:24,785 --> 00:53:27,161 I'm sure it was just friendly banter. 723 00:53:27,246 --> 00:53:29,455 I'm sure you guys have dicks the size of peanuts. 724 00:53:29,540 --> 00:53:32,041 Enjoy your dinner. The tuna's really good. 725 00:53:35,504 --> 00:53:39,007 ANNA: I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that. 726 00:53:39,091 --> 00:53:42,093 - No, you were brilliant. - I'm rash and I am stupid. 727 00:53:43,470 --> 00:53:45,221 What am I doing with you? 728 00:53:45,973 --> 00:53:47,682 I don't know, I'm afraid. 729 00:53:48,517 --> 00:53:49,809 I don't either. 730 00:53:54,773 --> 00:53:55,940 Here we are. 731 00:53:57,026 --> 00:53:58,026 Yes. 732 00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:02,280 - Well look... - Do you wanna come up? 733 00:54:05,826 --> 00:54:10,330 Well, there seems to be lots of reasons why I shouldn't, so... 734 00:54:10,414 --> 00:54:12,248 There are lots of reasons. 735 00:54:16,837 --> 00:54:18,338 Do you wanna come up? 736 00:54:23,469 --> 00:54:25,011 Give me five minutes? 737 00:54:42,863 --> 00:54:43,947 - Hi. - Hi. 738 00:54:47,868 --> 00:54:50,244 To be able to do that is such a wonderful thing. 739 00:54:50,329 --> 00:54:52,413 - You've got to go. - Why? 740 00:54:53,165 --> 00:54:57,710 Because my boyfriend, who was in America, is, in fact, now in the next room. 741 00:54:57,795 --> 00:54:59,128 - Boyfriend? - Yes. 742 00:54:59,213 --> 00:55:01,881 - Hey, baby, who is it? - ANNA: It's... 743 00:55:04,510 --> 00:55:05,802 (STUTTERING) 744 00:55:06,595 --> 00:55:07,845 Room service. 745 00:55:08,847 --> 00:55:09,806 How are you doing? 746 00:55:09,890 --> 00:55:12,767 I thought you guys always wore those penguin coats? 747 00:55:13,769 --> 00:55:15,061 Usually we do. 748 00:55:15,646 --> 00:55:17,772 But I was just changed to go home. 749 00:55:18,691 --> 00:55:22,151 And then I thought I'd take this final call. 750 00:55:23,362 --> 00:55:25,571 Oh, great. If you don't mind, I would like something, too. 751 00:55:25,656 --> 00:55:28,616 Could you bring me up some really, really cold water? 752 00:55:29,576 --> 00:55:32,453 - I'll see what I can do. - Still, not sparkling. 753 00:55:32,913 --> 00:55:34,664 Absolutely. Ice-cold still water. 754 00:55:34,748 --> 00:55:38,835 Unless, of course, it's illegal in the UK to serve beverages below room temperature. 755 00:55:38,919 --> 00:55:41,796 I wouldn't want you going to jail just to satisfy my whim, now. 756 00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:43,881 - I'm sure it's fine. - Thank you. 757 00:55:45,426 --> 00:55:47,343 Hey, one more thing, if you don't mind, 758 00:55:47,428 --> 00:55:50,888 could you adiós these dirty dishes and take out that trash, too? 759 00:55:53,851 --> 00:55:57,311 - Right. - No. No. Don't do that. 760 00:55:57,396 --> 00:55:59,856 I don't think it's his job to clear. 761 00:55:59,940 --> 00:56:03,234 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What's your name, man? 762 00:56:06,030 --> 00:56:07,196 Bernie. 763 00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:11,617 Oh, listen, Bernie, thank you, I really appreciate it. 764 00:56:12,953 --> 00:56:14,037 Hey, you... 765 00:56:14,121 --> 00:56:15,121 (MOANING) 766 00:56:19,293 --> 00:56:23,504 So, tell me, tell me, tell me. Good surprise or nasty surprise? 767 00:56:25,090 --> 00:56:28,342 - Good surprise. - Oh, you're such a liar. She hates surprises. 768 00:56:28,427 --> 00:56:30,344 Hey, what are you gonna order? 769 00:56:30,929 --> 00:56:33,097 From him. What are you gonna order? 770 00:56:34,141 --> 00:56:36,809 - I haven't decided yet. - Well, don't overdo it. 771 00:56:37,436 --> 00:56:38,436 I don't want people saying, 772 00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,814 "There goes that famous actor with the big fat girlfriend." 773 00:56:43,901 --> 00:56:45,193 I should leave. 774 00:56:52,493 --> 00:56:55,328 This is a fairly strange reality to be faced with. 775 00:56:56,955 --> 00:56:58,247 I'm so sorry. 776 00:57:02,044 --> 00:57:05,004 I don't know what to say. 777 00:57:09,176 --> 00:57:12,512 I think "goodbye" is traditional. 778 00:57:18,185 --> 00:57:21,395 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 779 00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:20,264 Come on. Open up. 780 00:59:22,142 --> 00:59:23,392 This is me. 781 00:59:24,811 --> 00:59:26,062 Spikey. 782 00:59:26,146 --> 00:59:27,146 (CHUCKLING) 783 00:59:27,356 --> 00:59:31,651 I'm in contact with some quite important spiritual vibrations. 784 00:59:33,445 --> 00:59:36,781 Come on. Hit me with it. 785 00:59:40,911 --> 00:59:42,328 There's this girl. 786 00:59:43,997 --> 00:59:47,333 See, I'd been getting a female vibe. Good. 787 00:59:48,168 --> 00:59:49,752 Speak on, dear friend. 788 00:59:50,504 --> 00:59:54,298 She's someone who can't be mine, 789 00:59:58,512 --> 01:00:02,556 and it's as if I've taken "love heroin" and now I can't ever have it again. 790 01:00:03,934 --> 01:00:07,186 I've opened Pandora's Box and there's this trouble inside. 791 01:00:11,275 --> 01:00:12,275 Yeah. 792 01:00:13,902 --> 01:00:17,488 Tricky. 793 01:00:20,701 --> 01:00:23,411 I knew a girl at school called Pandora. 794 01:00:26,331 --> 01:00:28,708 Never got to see her box though. 795 01:00:30,502 --> 01:00:31,669 Right. 796 01:00:32,379 --> 01:00:34,880 Right, thanks, that's very helpful. 797 01:00:37,134 --> 01:00:39,677 You didn't know she had a boyfriend? 798 01:00:40,971 --> 01:00:44,765 No. No. Why, did you? 799 01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,728 WILLIAM: Oh, bloody hell, I don't believe it. 800 01:00:49,855 --> 01:00:52,898 My whole life ruined because I don't read Hello! Magazine. 801 01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:57,570 Let's face facts. This was always a no-win situation. 802 01:00:58,739 --> 01:01:00,948 Anna's a goddess. 803 01:01:01,742 --> 01:01:04,702 You know what happens to mortals who get involved with the gods. 804 01:01:04,911 --> 01:01:06,037 Buggered, is it? 805 01:01:06,121 --> 01:01:07,496 Every time. 806 01:01:07,581 --> 01:01:11,584 But don't despair, I think I have the solution to your problems. 807 01:01:12,252 --> 01:01:13,502 Really? 808 01:01:14,338 --> 01:01:16,839 Her name is Tessa, and she works in the contracts department. 809 01:01:16,965 --> 01:01:20,426 The hair, I admit, is unfashionably frizzy. 810 01:01:20,510 --> 01:01:24,889 But she's bright as a button, and kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row. 811 01:01:24,973 --> 01:01:26,349 Apparently. 812 01:01:27,267 --> 01:01:28,267 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 813 01:01:29,311 --> 01:01:30,811 Now, try. 814 01:01:34,941 --> 01:01:38,444 TESSA: I got completely lost. It's real difficult, isn't it? 815 01:01:38,528 --> 01:01:39,737 Everything's got the word Kensington in it. 816 01:01:39,821 --> 01:01:42,073 Kensington Park Road. Kensington Gardens. 817 01:01:42,157 --> 01:01:43,574 Kensington bloody Park Gardens. 818 01:01:43,658 --> 01:01:47,203 - Look, Tessa, this is Bella, my wife. - Hello. You're in a wheelchair. 819 01:01:47,287 --> 01:01:50,790 - Yeah, that's right. - And this is William. 820 01:01:50,874 --> 01:01:53,000 - Hello, William. - Hi. 821 01:01:53,168 --> 01:01:54,960 Max has told me everything about you. 822 01:01:55,295 --> 01:01:58,422 - Has he? - Oh, yes. You are a naughty boy. 823 01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:01,008 - Wine? - Oh, yes, please. 824 01:02:01,468 --> 01:02:03,344 Come on, Willie, let's get sloshed. 825 01:02:03,428 --> 01:02:05,805 - Red or white? - Red. 826 01:02:08,308 --> 01:02:09,600 Keziah... 827 01:02:11,561 --> 01:02:13,062 Some woodcock? 828 01:02:13,146 --> 01:02:15,481 No, thank you, I'm a fruitarian. 829 01:02:19,820 --> 01:02:22,196 What is a fruitarian exactly? 830 01:02:22,322 --> 01:02:27,785 Well, we believe that fruits and vegetables have feelings, so we think cooking is cruel. 831 01:02:28,495 --> 01:02:32,540 We only eat things that have actually fallen from the tree or bush. 832 01:02:32,624 --> 01:02:34,959 That are, in fact, dead already. 833 01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:40,256 Oh, right. 834 01:02:40,966 --> 01:02:42,133 Right. 835 01:02:43,051 --> 01:02:45,094 So, these carrots... 836 01:02:45,178 --> 01:02:47,054 Have been murdered, yes. 837 01:02:47,139 --> 01:02:48,431 Murdered? 838 01:02:49,891 --> 01:02:53,561 Gosh, poor old carrots. That's beastly. 839 01:02:57,899 --> 01:02:59,525 Delicious coffee. 840 01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:03,028 I'm sorry about the lamb. 841 01:03:03,530 --> 01:03:07,700 No, I thought it was really, you know, interesting. 842 01:03:08,410 --> 01:03:10,703 "Interesting" means "inedible." 843 01:03:11,580 --> 01:03:14,081 Really inedible, yes, you're right. 844 01:03:14,916 --> 01:03:16,292 (LAUGHING) 845 01:03:17,711 --> 01:03:20,880 Well, maybe we'll meet again. 846 01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:26,051 Yeah. Yeah. That'll be great. 847 01:03:35,061 --> 01:03:36,145 Bye. 848 01:03:56,082 --> 01:03:57,249 Well? 849 01:03:58,335 --> 01:04:01,420 Perfect. Absolutely perfect. 850 01:04:05,050 --> 01:04:06,091 And? 851 01:04:07,969 --> 01:04:12,431 You see, I think you've forgotten what an unusual situation you two have. 852 01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:16,477 To find someone you actually love, 853 01:04:17,103 --> 01:04:20,731 who'll love you, I mean, the chances are always minuscule. 854 01:04:23,109 --> 01:04:26,195 Look at me. Apart from the American, 855 01:04:26,279 --> 01:04:28,781 I've only loved two girls, both total disasters. 856 01:04:28,949 --> 01:04:30,366 - That's not fair. - No, really. 857 01:04:30,450 --> 01:04:34,662 One of them marries me then leaves me faster than you can say "Indiana Jones." 858 01:04:34,788 --> 01:04:38,165 And the other, who seriously ought to have known better, 859 01:04:38,250 --> 01:04:40,376 casually marries my best friend. 860 01:04:40,460 --> 01:04:41,710 She still loves you though. 861 01:04:41,795 --> 01:04:44,296 Yeah, in a depressingly asexual way. 862 01:04:46,550 --> 01:04:49,051 I never fancied you much, actually. 863 01:04:49,135 --> 01:04:50,135 (MAX GIGGLING) 864 01:04:50,262 --> 01:04:51,470 Oh, God. 865 01:04:52,472 --> 01:04:57,893 I loved you, you were terribly funny, but all that kissing my ears... 866 01:04:58,478 --> 01:05:00,896 I don't believe it. This is just getting worse. 867 01:05:00,981 --> 01:05:05,109 I shall find myself 30 years from now still sitting on this sofa. 868 01:05:05,652 --> 01:05:07,069 Do you wanna stay? 869 01:05:07,153 --> 01:05:09,280 Yeah, why not. 870 01:05:09,364 --> 01:05:12,825 All that awaits me at home is a masturbating Welshman. 871 01:05:15,912 --> 01:05:17,329 Here we go. 872 01:05:18,832 --> 01:05:21,166 - Goodnight. - Night. 873 01:05:28,091 --> 01:05:29,633 (LAUGHING) 874 01:05:39,185 --> 01:05:41,812 - See you, Will. - Right. Right. 875 01:05:49,946 --> 01:05:54,074 - Guilty. Very, very guilty. - So it seems. 876 01:06:36,076 --> 01:06:37,493 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 877 01:06:41,581 --> 01:06:42,581 Hi. 878 01:06:45,919 --> 01:06:47,461 Can I come in? 879 01:06:47,879 --> 01:06:49,088 Come in. 880 01:06:57,472 --> 01:07:00,599 They were taken years ago. 881 01:07:00,684 --> 01:07:02,309 I know it was... 882 01:07:03,687 --> 01:07:07,356 But I was poor and it happens a lot. 883 01:07:08,316 --> 01:07:10,651 That's not an excuse. I just... 884 01:07:13,446 --> 01:07:18,701 But to make matters worse, it now appears as though 885 01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:23,997 someone was filming me as well. 886 01:07:24,082 --> 01:07:29,878 So what was a stupid photo shoot now looks like a porn film. 887 01:07:32,298 --> 01:07:37,177 And the pictures have been sold, and they're just everywhere. 888 01:07:41,099 --> 01:07:43,142 I didn't know where to go. 889 01:07:45,812 --> 01:07:47,771 The hotel's surrounded. 890 01:07:51,901 --> 01:07:54,153 I know it's been months but... 891 01:07:55,321 --> 01:07:56,989 This is the place. 892 01:08:00,034 --> 01:08:01,410 Thank you. 893 01:08:05,749 --> 01:08:11,128 I'm just in London for two days, but what with your papers, 894 01:08:11,254 --> 01:08:13,338 it's the worst place to be. 895 01:08:14,048 --> 01:08:17,968 I mean, these pictures are just so horrible and they're so grainy. 896 01:08:18,052 --> 01:08:21,847 - And it makes me look like... - Listen, don't think about it. 897 01:08:24,309 --> 01:08:25,976 We'll sort it out. 898 01:08:29,481 --> 01:08:31,440 Now what would you like? 899 01:08:31,524 --> 01:08:34,693 Tea? Bath? 900 01:08:36,112 --> 01:08:37,196 Yeah. 901 01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:42,034 A bath would be great. 902 01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:43,702 (DOOR CLOSING) 903 01:08:45,497 --> 01:08:47,122 Oh, Christ alive! 904 01:08:52,045 --> 01:08:54,546 Brilliant. Fantastic. 905 01:08:57,300 --> 01:08:59,009 Magnificent. 906 01:09:07,227 --> 01:09:08,894 You must be Spike. 907 01:09:22,575 --> 01:09:23,575 Hi. 908 01:09:23,952 --> 01:09:26,161 Just checking. 909 01:09:32,627 --> 01:09:34,127 Thank you, God. 910 01:09:38,091 --> 01:09:40,509 I'm really sorry about last time. 911 01:09:41,678 --> 01:09:44,429 I mean, he just flew in. I had no idea. 912 01:09:45,473 --> 01:09:49,059 In fact, I had no idea if he was ever gonna fly in again. 913 01:09:50,061 --> 01:09:52,980 Listen, it's not often one has the opportunity to 914 01:09:53,064 --> 01:09:55,482 adiós the plates of a major Hollywood film star. 915 01:09:55,567 --> 01:09:58,277 It was thrilling for me. 916 01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:03,699 So how is he? 917 01:10:06,160 --> 01:10:07,619 I don't know. 918 01:10:11,124 --> 01:10:13,041 It just got to the point where I couldn't remember 919 01:10:13,126 --> 01:10:15,878 any of the reasons why we were together. 920 01:10:17,714 --> 01:10:19,381 And you and love? 921 01:10:22,385 --> 01:10:26,972 Oh, well, there's a question without an interesting answer. 922 01:10:32,854 --> 01:10:34,897 I have thought about you. 923 01:10:38,484 --> 01:10:42,821 It's just that any time I've tried to keep 924 01:10:42,906 --> 01:10:47,284 anything normal with a person that was normal, 925 01:10:47,368 --> 01:10:49,244 it's just been a disaster. 926 01:10:49,329 --> 01:10:52,456 Yeah, no, listen, I appreciate that, absolutely. 927 01:10:53,833 --> 01:10:56,460 So what is that, a film you're doing? 928 01:10:57,337 --> 01:10:59,463 I start in LA on Tuesday. 929 01:11:00,673 --> 01:11:03,800 Would you like me to take you through your lines? 930 01:11:03,885 --> 01:11:06,929 Would you? Because it's all talk, talk, talk. 931 01:11:07,180 --> 01:11:11,141 Come on, hand it over. Right. 932 01:11:12,602 --> 01:11:13,977 Basic plot? 933 01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:18,607 I'm a difficult but brilliant junior officer, who in about 20 minutes 934 01:11:18,691 --> 01:11:21,693 is gonna save the world from nuclear disaster. 935 01:11:22,862 --> 01:11:24,112 Okay, well done, you. 936 01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:26,448 "Message from Command, would you like them to send in the HK's?" 937 01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:28,325 No. Turn over four TRS's 938 01:11:28,409 --> 01:11:32,204 and tell them we need radar feedback before the KFT's return at 19:00. 939 01:11:32,288 --> 01:11:34,247 Then inform the Pentagon we need Black Star cover 940 01:11:34,332 --> 01:11:36,124 from 10:00 through 12:15. 941 01:11:36,209 --> 01:11:37,334 And if you say one word about 942 01:11:37,418 --> 01:11:39,670 how many mistakes I made in that speech, I'll pelt you with olives. 943 01:11:39,754 --> 01:11:41,588 "Very well, Captain, I'll pass that on, straight away." 944 01:11:41,673 --> 01:11:43,799 Thank you. How many mistakes did I make? 945 01:11:43,883 --> 01:11:44,883 Eleven. 946 01:11:45,051 --> 01:11:48,679 - Dammit. And, Wainwright... - Cartwright. 947 01:11:48,763 --> 01:11:51,264 Cartwright, Wainwright, whatever your name is... 948 01:11:51,349 --> 01:11:53,308 I promised little Jimmy I'd be home for his birthday, 949 01:11:53,393 --> 01:11:55,769 so could you get a message to him that I may be a little late? 950 01:11:55,853 --> 01:11:58,647 "Certainly." And little Johnny? 951 01:11:58,731 --> 01:12:00,857 - My son's name is Johnny? - Yeah. 952 01:12:00,942 --> 01:12:02,567 Well, then get a message to him, too. 953 01:12:02,652 --> 01:12:05,404 "I'll do what I can, Captain, but I can't promise anything." 954 01:12:05,488 --> 01:12:07,447 And, Cartwright goes. 955 01:12:07,615 --> 01:12:08,615 (SIGHING) 956 01:12:09,993 --> 01:12:11,076 What do you think? 957 01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:14,246 Gripping. You know, it's not Jane Austen. 958 01:12:14,330 --> 01:12:17,082 It's not Henry James. But it's gripping. 959 01:12:17,750 --> 01:12:19,251 Think I should do Henry James instead? 960 01:12:19,335 --> 01:12:21,003 Well, I think you would be brilliant in Henry James 961 01:12:21,087 --> 01:12:24,506 but, you know, this writer... Writers... 962 01:12:24,590 --> 01:12:26,425 They're pretty damn good, too. 963 01:12:26,509 --> 01:12:29,052 Well, you never get anyone in Wings ofthe Dove saying, 964 01:12:29,137 --> 01:12:31,722 "Inform the Pentagon, we need Black Star cover." 965 01:12:31,806 --> 01:12:34,933 Well, and for me, the book is the poorer for it. 966 01:12:39,230 --> 01:12:41,857 I can't believe you have that picture. 967 01:12:43,317 --> 01:12:44,985 You like Chagall? 968 01:12:45,945 --> 01:12:47,070 I do. 969 01:12:48,656 --> 01:12:50,824 It feels like how love should be. 970 01:12:50,908 --> 01:12:52,951 Floating through a dark blue sky. 971 01:12:53,786 --> 01:12:56,747 With a goat, playing a violin. 972 01:12:56,831 --> 01:12:58,123 Well, yes. 973 01:12:58,207 --> 01:13:01,752 Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat. 974 01:13:23,024 --> 01:13:24,691 You have big feet. 975 01:13:26,903 --> 01:13:30,697 Yes. Yes, always have had. 976 01:13:32,992 --> 01:13:36,119 You know what they say about men with big feet? 977 01:13:37,997 --> 01:13:40,207 No, I don't know. What's that? 978 01:13:41,751 --> 01:13:46,213 Big feet, large shoes. 979 01:13:52,637 --> 01:13:54,679 The thing that's so irritating is that now 980 01:13:54,764 --> 01:13:57,390 I'm so totally fierce when it comes to nudity clauses. 981 01:13:57,475 --> 01:14:00,519 You actually have clauses in your contract about nudity? 982 01:14:00,603 --> 01:14:02,104 Definitely. 983 01:14:02,188 --> 01:14:06,608 You may show the dent of the top of the artist's buttocks but neither cheek. 984 01:14:06,692 --> 01:14:11,696 Or, if there's a stunt bottom being used, artist must have full consultation. 985 01:14:12,865 --> 01:14:13,990 You have a stunt bottom? 986 01:14:14,075 --> 01:14:17,202 Well, I could have a stunt bottom, yes. 987 01:14:18,371 --> 01:14:21,790 And are people tempted to go for better bottoms than their own. 988 01:14:21,874 --> 01:14:25,085 Yeah. I mean, I would. This is important stuff. 989 01:14:25,169 --> 01:14:29,131 Well, it's one hell of a job, isn't it? I mean, what do you put on your passport? 990 01:14:29,215 --> 01:14:31,550 Profession. Mel Gibson's bottom. 991 01:14:31,717 --> 01:14:33,885 Actually, Mel does his own ass work. 992 01:14:33,970 --> 01:14:34,970 Right. 993 01:14:35,054 --> 01:14:37,597 - Why wouldn't he? - Absolutely. 994 01:14:38,432 --> 01:14:40,016 It's delicious. 995 01:14:40,852 --> 01:14:43,562 What, the ice cream or Mel Gibson's bottom? 996 01:14:43,646 --> 01:14:46,314 Both. Equally. 997 01:14:46,399 --> 01:14:49,067 But you wouldn't necessarily lick both? 998 01:14:49,152 --> 01:14:50,902 Well, this is tart. 999 01:14:53,447 --> 01:14:54,990 And fuzz free. 1000 01:15:00,079 --> 01:15:04,374 And... The bedroom, I've put clean sheets on. 1001 01:15:15,094 --> 01:15:17,095 Today's been a good day. 1002 01:15:17,722 --> 01:15:21,766 Which in the circumstances is unexpected. 1003 01:15:23,477 --> 01:15:24,811 Thank you. 1004 01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:33,361 Anyway, time for bed. 1005 01:15:35,948 --> 01:15:37,782 Or, sofa bed. 1006 01:15:44,081 --> 01:15:46,708 - Goodnight. - Goodnight. 1007 01:16:21,327 --> 01:16:22,327 (SIGHING) 1008 01:16:26,165 --> 01:16:27,666 (STAIRS CREAKING) 1009 01:16:33,714 --> 01:16:35,131 Oh, my God. 1010 01:16:44,058 --> 01:16:45,225 Hello? 1011 01:16:47,311 --> 01:16:48,520 Hello. 1012 01:16:49,563 --> 01:16:50,689 Spike? 1013 01:16:50,773 --> 01:16:54,025 I wonder if I could have a little word? 1014 01:16:54,193 --> 01:16:56,569 - Right. - I don't want to interfere or nothing, 1015 01:16:56,654 --> 01:17:00,198 but she's just split up from her boyfriend. That's right, innit? 1016 01:17:00,283 --> 01:17:01,449 Maybe. 1017 01:17:01,784 --> 01:17:03,743 And she's in your house. 1018 01:17:04,996 --> 01:17:06,037 Yes? 1019 01:17:06,497 --> 01:17:08,540 And you get on very well. 1020 01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:11,167 Yes. 1021 01:17:11,877 --> 01:17:15,213 Well, isn't this perhaps a nice opportunity to 1022 01:17:19,844 --> 01:17:21,970 - slip her one? - Spike, for God's sake. She's in trouble. 1023 01:17:22,054 --> 01:17:23,096 Just get a grip. 1024 01:17:23,180 --> 01:17:26,474 Right, you think it's the wrong moment, fair enough. 1025 01:17:30,563 --> 01:17:32,022 Do you mind if I have a go? 1026 01:17:32,106 --> 01:17:33,982 - Spike! - Right, okay. 1027 01:17:34,692 --> 01:17:36,318 I'll talk to you in the morning. 1028 01:17:36,402 --> 01:17:39,487 Okay. Might be too late, but okay. 1029 01:17:45,411 --> 01:17:46,911 (STAIRS CREAKING) 1030 01:17:50,333 --> 01:17:51,333 (EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST) 1031 01:17:51,709 --> 01:17:53,752 Please, sod off. 1032 01:17:53,836 --> 01:17:55,170 - Okay, sorry. - No. 1033 01:17:55,254 --> 01:18:00,091 No, no, no, wait, I thought you were someone else. 1034 01:18:01,635 --> 01:18:05,138 I thought you were Spike. I'm thrilled that you're not. 1035 01:19:07,118 --> 01:19:08,201 Wow. 1036 01:19:11,288 --> 01:19:12,372 What? 1037 01:19:13,999 --> 01:19:15,250 Nothing. 1038 01:19:51,162 --> 01:19:56,458 It does strike me as, well, surreal that I'm allowed to see you naked. 1039 01:19:56,542 --> 01:19:58,585 You and every person in this country. 1040 01:19:58,669 --> 01:20:00,462 God, yeah, I'm sorry. 1041 01:20:01,297 --> 01:20:06,050 What is it about men and nudity? Particularly breasts. 1042 01:20:06,844 --> 01:20:09,888 And how can you be so interested in them? 1043 01:20:09,972 --> 01:20:13,433 - Well... - No, but seriously. They're just breasts. 1044 01:20:13,559 --> 01:20:16,269 Every second person in the world has them. 1045 01:20:16,353 --> 01:20:18,021 Well, more than that, actually, when you think about it. 1046 01:20:18,105 --> 01:20:20,899 You know, Meatloaf has a very nice pair. 1047 01:20:21,484 --> 01:20:25,111 But they're odd looking. They're for milk. 1048 01:20:25,196 --> 01:20:28,907 Your mother has them. You've seen a thousand of them. 1049 01:20:28,991 --> 01:20:31,075 What's all the fuss about? 1050 01:20:31,202 --> 01:20:35,747 Actually, I can't think what it is, really. Let me just have a quick look. 1051 01:20:40,920 --> 01:20:42,545 No, no, beats me. 1052 01:20:46,926 --> 01:20:49,093 Rita Hayworth used to say, 1053 01:20:50,429 --> 01:20:53,848 "They go to bed with Gilda, they wake up with me." 1054 01:20:54,934 --> 01:20:56,434 Who was Gilda? 1055 01:20:56,644 --> 01:20:58,436 Her most famous part. 1056 01:20:59,563 --> 01:21:02,440 Men went to bed with the dream, 1057 01:21:02,525 --> 01:21:05,777 and they didn't like it when they woke up with reality. 1058 01:21:07,655 --> 01:21:09,447 Do you feel that way? 1059 01:21:12,368 --> 01:21:15,828 You are lovelier this morning than you have ever been. 1060 01:21:19,833 --> 01:21:21,584 I'll be right back. 1061 01:21:35,182 --> 01:21:36,808 Breakfast in bed. 1062 01:21:38,185 --> 01:21:40,937 Or it's brunch, or lunch, or something. 1063 01:21:41,355 --> 01:21:42,605 My God. 1064 01:21:44,525 --> 01:21:46,484 Can I stay a bit longer? 1065 01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:50,822 Stay forever. 1066 01:21:53,659 --> 01:21:54,659 Okay. 1067 01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:56,786 I forgot the jam. 1068 01:21:57,413 --> 01:21:58,663 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 1069 01:22:00,499 --> 01:22:03,001 I'll get the jam, you get the door. 1070 01:22:09,592 --> 01:22:10,675 (SIGHING) 1071 01:22:13,596 --> 01:22:15,263 (REPORTERS CLAMOURING) 1072 01:22:18,434 --> 01:22:19,934 Jesus Christ. 1073 01:22:23,355 --> 01:22:24,439 What? 1074 01:22:26,025 --> 01:22:27,400 What is it? 1075 01:22:28,319 --> 01:22:31,195 - Nothing, really. - You're up to something. 1076 01:22:31,280 --> 01:22:32,614 Anna, no, please. 1077 01:22:32,823 --> 01:22:34,240 (CROWD SHOUTING) 1078 01:22:36,702 --> 01:22:38,036 Oh, my God. 1079 01:22:38,621 --> 01:22:41,831 And they got a picture of you dressed like that. 1080 01:22:41,957 --> 01:22:43,082 Yes. 1081 01:22:45,169 --> 01:22:47,211 Undressed like this, yeah. 1082 01:22:49,048 --> 01:22:50,381 Morning, darling ones. 1083 01:22:50,466 --> 01:22:54,510 It's me. The press are here. No, there are hundreds of them. 1084 01:22:54,970 --> 01:23:00,558 My brilliant plan was not so brilliant. I know. I know. I know. Just get over here. 1085 01:23:00,768 --> 01:23:01,976 Dammit. 1086 01:23:08,150 --> 01:23:11,027 - I wouldn't go outside. - Why not? 1087 01:23:13,864 --> 01:23:15,907 Just take my word for it. 1088 01:23:24,583 --> 01:23:26,209 (ALL CLAMOURING) 1089 01:23:38,931 --> 01:23:43,184 How did I look? Not bad. Not at all bad. 1090 01:23:43,268 --> 01:23:47,355 Well-chosen briefs, I'd say. Chicks love grey. 1091 01:23:48,023 --> 01:23:50,608 Nice, firm buttocks. 1092 01:23:54,988 --> 01:23:56,698 How are you doing? 1093 01:23:56,782 --> 01:23:58,950 How do you think I'm doing? 1094 01:24:01,161 --> 01:24:03,287 - I don't know what happened. - Oh, I do. 1095 01:24:03,372 --> 01:24:08,292 Your furry friend thought he'd make a buck or two, telling the papers where I was. 1096 01:24:08,502 --> 01:24:09,877 - That's not true. - Really? 1097 01:24:09,962 --> 01:24:12,213 The entire British press got up this morning and thought, 1098 01:24:12,297 --> 01:24:13,589 "I know where Anna Scott is. 1099 01:24:13,674 --> 01:24:16,592 "She's in that house with the blue door in Notting Hill." 1100 01:24:16,677 --> 01:24:19,387 And then you go out in your goddamn underwear. 1101 01:24:19,471 --> 01:24:22,223 - I went out in my goddamn underwear, too. - Get out. 1102 01:24:22,307 --> 01:24:23,850 Yeah, I'm sorry. 1103 01:24:23,934 --> 01:24:25,435 I'm so sorry. 1104 01:24:26,979 --> 01:24:28,521 This is such an unbelievable mess. 1105 01:24:28,605 --> 01:24:31,482 I come to you to protect myself against more crappy gossip, 1106 01:24:31,567 --> 01:24:36,362 and now I've just landed in it all over again. I mean, for God's sake, I've got a boyfriend. 1107 01:24:36,447 --> 01:24:37,572 You have? 1108 01:24:37,656 --> 01:24:40,199 Well, as far as they're concerned I do. Yes. 1109 01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:41,868 And now, tomorrow, there'll be pictures 1110 01:24:41,952 --> 01:24:45,037 of you in every newspaper from here to Timbuktu. 1111 01:24:45,789 --> 01:24:48,124 I know that. But let's stay calm. 1112 01:24:48,208 --> 01:24:49,709 - No, you can stay calm! - Right. 1113 01:24:49,793 --> 01:24:52,044 All right, this is a perfect situation for you, isn't it? 1114 01:24:52,129 --> 01:24:54,338 Minimum input, maximum publicity. 1115 01:24:54,423 --> 01:24:58,760 Everywhere you go people will say, "Oh, well done. You slept with that actress. 1116 01:24:58,844 --> 01:25:00,720 "We saw the pictures." 1117 01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:03,473 That is spectacularly unfair. 1118 01:25:04,099 --> 01:25:05,808 Who knows, maybe it'll even help business. 1119 01:25:05,893 --> 01:25:08,478 "Buy a boring book about Egypt from the guy that screwed Anna Scott." 1120 01:25:08,562 --> 01:25:13,399 Now, stop. Stop. Stop, I beg you. Calm down. 1121 01:25:13,609 --> 01:25:17,069 - Have a cup of tea. - I don't want a goddamn cup of tea. 1122 01:25:18,155 --> 01:25:19,614 I just wanna go home. 1123 01:25:19,698 --> 01:25:20,782 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 1124 01:25:20,866 --> 01:25:24,869 Spike, see who that is. And put some clothes on, for God's sake. 1125 01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:26,829 Looks like a chauffeur to me. 1126 01:25:26,914 --> 01:25:28,998 Spike owes you an expensive dinner. Or holiday. 1127 01:25:29,082 --> 01:25:32,001 Depending if he's got the brains to get the going rate on betrayal. 1128 01:25:32,085 --> 01:25:36,339 That is not true. Wait a minute. This is crazy behaviour. 1129 01:25:37,049 --> 01:25:40,051 Can't we just laugh about all this? 1130 01:25:40,135 --> 01:25:43,888 Seriously, in the huge sweep of things, this stuff doesn't matter. 1131 01:25:43,972 --> 01:25:47,225 What he's gonna say next is there's people starving in the Sudan. 1132 01:25:47,351 --> 01:25:51,270 Well, there are. And we don't have to go anywhere near that far. 1133 01:25:51,355 --> 01:25:52,522 My best friend slipped. 1134 01:25:52,606 --> 01:25:54,232 She slipped down stairs, cracked her back, 1135 01:25:54,316 --> 01:25:56,818 and she's in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. 1136 01:25:56,902 --> 01:26:00,780 You know, all I'm asking for is a normal amount of perspective. 1137 01:26:01,323 --> 01:26:03,825 You're right. Of course, you're right. 1138 01:26:03,909 --> 01:26:06,702 It's just that I've dealt with this garbage for 10 years. 1139 01:26:06,787 --> 01:26:11,916 You've had it for 10 minutes. Our perspectives are very different. 1140 01:26:12,084 --> 01:26:15,670 I mean, today's newspapers will be lining tomorrow's wastepaper bins. 1141 01:26:15,754 --> 01:26:17,296 Excuse me? 1142 01:26:17,381 --> 01:26:19,799 Well, you know, it's just one day. 1143 01:26:20,259 --> 01:26:23,719 Tomorrow, today's papers will all have been thrown out. 1144 01:26:23,887 --> 01:26:28,474 You really don't get it. This story will be filed. 1145 01:26:28,767 --> 01:26:31,853 Every time anyone writes anything about me, 1146 01:26:31,937 --> 01:26:33,729 they'll dig up these photos. 1147 01:26:33,856 --> 01:26:37,775 Newspapers last forever. I'll regret this forever. 1148 01:26:40,904 --> 01:26:46,993 Right. 1149 01:26:48,203 --> 01:26:51,956 I will feel the opposite, if that's okay by you. 1150 01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:57,962 And always be glad that you came to stay. 1151 01:27:00,340 --> 01:27:01,549 But... 1152 01:27:02,593 --> 01:27:05,011 You're probably right. You'd better go. 1153 01:27:08,056 --> 01:27:09,640 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 1154 01:27:16,315 --> 01:27:18,024 (CROWD CLAMORING) 1155 01:27:19,067 --> 01:27:20,401 (CAMERAS CLICKING) 1156 01:27:46,011 --> 01:27:47,386 Was it you? 1157 01:27:50,724 --> 01:27:54,352 I may have told a few people down the pub. 1158 01:27:57,064 --> 01:27:58,230 Right. 1159 01:28:02,694 --> 01:28:05,947 (BLUES MUSIC PLAYING) 1160 01:29:49,217 --> 01:29:50,718 Have I got something for you. 1161 01:29:50,802 --> 01:29:52,344 Something which will make you love me so much, 1162 01:29:52,429 --> 01:29:55,848 you will want to hug me every day for the rest of my life. 1163 01:29:55,974 --> 01:29:57,725 Blimey, what is it? 1164 01:29:59,102 --> 01:30:03,439 Phone number ofAnna Scott's agent in London and her agent in New York. 1165 01:30:07,944 --> 01:30:11,822 Listen, you think about her all the time. Now you can ring her. 1166 01:30:11,907 --> 01:30:14,700 Yeah. Brilliant, thanks. 1167 01:30:14,826 --> 01:30:18,370 I'll see you tonight. Hi, Marty. Sexy cardi. 1168 01:30:42,854 --> 01:30:43,854 (SHUSHING) 1169 01:30:44,397 --> 01:30:45,689 (GLASS TINKLING) 1170 01:30:45,774 --> 01:30:48,442 Hello. I have a little speech to make. 1171 01:30:48,527 --> 01:30:51,487 I won't stand up because I can't be bothered. 1172 01:30:51,571 --> 01:30:52,655 (LAUGHING) 1173 01:30:53,532 --> 01:30:55,616 Exactly a year ago today, 1174 01:30:55,700 --> 01:30:58,619 this man here started the finest restaurant in London. 1175 01:30:58,703 --> 01:31:00,037 - Hear, hear. - Thank you very much. 1176 01:31:00,122 --> 01:31:02,748 Unfortunately, no one ever came to eat here. 1177 01:31:02,833 --> 01:31:04,625 It's a tiny hiccough. 1178 01:31:05,794 --> 01:31:07,419 And so, we have to face the fact that 1179 01:31:07,504 --> 01:31:11,090 from next week, we must find somewhere new to eat. 1180 01:31:12,342 --> 01:31:15,719 I just want to say to Tony, don't take it personally. 1181 01:31:16,346 --> 01:31:20,641 The more I think about things, the more I see no rhyme or reason in life. 1182 01:31:20,725 --> 01:31:24,603 No one knows why some things work out and some things don't. 1183 01:31:24,688 --> 01:31:28,232 Why some of us get lucky, and some of us... 1184 01:31:28,567 --> 01:31:30,359 - Get fired. - What? 1185 01:31:30,902 --> 01:31:33,904 Yeah, well, it seems they're shifting the whole outfit 1186 01:31:33,989 --> 01:31:36,699 much more towards the emerging markets. 1187 01:31:37,409 --> 01:31:40,494 And of course, well, I was total crap, so... 1188 01:31:40,579 --> 01:31:43,497 A toast to Bernie, the worst stockbroker in the whole world. 1189 01:31:43,582 --> 01:31:46,292 I thank you. And Tony, the worst restaurateur. 1190 01:31:46,376 --> 01:31:49,962 WILLIAM: Tony and Bernie. Both crap. BELLA: The terrible two. 1191 01:31:50,046 --> 01:31:52,089 In their own special ways. 1192 01:31:54,509 --> 01:31:59,054 Since it's an evening of announcements, I've also got one. 1193 01:32:01,558 --> 01:32:03,851 I've decided to get engaged. 1194 01:32:03,935 --> 01:32:07,938 I've found myself a nice, slightly odd-looking bloke. 1195 01:32:09,274 --> 01:32:12,985 Who I know is gonna make me happy for the rest of my life. 1196 01:32:14,196 --> 01:32:16,822 Well, wait a sec. I mean... 1197 01:32:16,907 --> 01:32:19,450 I'm your brother. I don't know anything about this. 1198 01:32:19,534 --> 01:32:23,037 Is he... I don't know, is he financially viable? 1199 01:32:23,121 --> 01:32:24,205 (CHUCKLING) 1200 01:32:24,289 --> 01:32:27,166 He's an artist with brilliant prospects. 1201 01:32:29,920 --> 01:32:31,462 This is a secret you've been keeping from me? 1202 01:32:31,546 --> 01:32:33,214 BELLA: No. No. I swear. 1203 01:32:33,298 --> 01:32:35,132 By the way, it's you. 1204 01:32:38,470 --> 01:32:39,511 Me? 1205 01:32:40,555 --> 01:32:42,264 What do you think? 1206 01:32:43,058 --> 01:32:44,475 Well, yeah. 1207 01:32:47,520 --> 01:32:48,771 Groovy. 1208 01:32:50,732 --> 01:32:54,985 Excuse me, are there any more announcements? 1209 01:32:55,070 --> 01:32:57,112 Well, actually, yes. 1210 01:32:57,197 --> 01:33:01,992 I feel I should apologise to everyone for my behaviour over the last six months. 1211 01:33:02,494 --> 01:33:05,829 I have, as you know, been somewhat down in the mouth. 1212 01:33:05,914 --> 01:33:08,499 Well, there's an understatement. There are dead people on better form. 1213 01:33:09,834 --> 01:33:13,420 But I just wish to make it clear that I've turned a corner, 1214 01:33:13,505 --> 01:33:17,466 and henceforward intend to be impressively happy. 1215 01:33:22,847 --> 01:33:24,640 (PIANO PLAYING) 1216 01:33:25,016 --> 01:33:27,559 (SINGING SLOW SONG) 1217 01:33:38,780 --> 01:33:42,449 Oh, God, I'm horribly drunk. 1218 01:33:43,576 --> 01:33:44,868 Me, too. 1219 01:33:45,287 --> 01:33:46,620 Come here. 1220 01:33:50,834 --> 01:33:52,835 So you've laid the ghost? 1221 01:33:55,005 --> 01:33:56,672 I believe I have. 1222 01:33:56,881 --> 01:33:59,633 Don't give a damn about the famous girl? 1223 01:34:00,677 --> 01:34:03,721 No. No, I don't think I do. 1224 01:34:05,307 --> 01:34:08,225 Which means you won't be distracted by the fact that she's back in London, 1225 01:34:08,310 --> 01:34:09,727 grasping her Oscar, 1226 01:34:09,811 --> 01:34:13,856 and currently to be found filming, most days, on Hampstead Heath. 1227 01:34:14,733 --> 01:34:16,233 Oh, God, no. 1228 01:34:20,196 --> 01:34:22,531 So, not over her, in fact. 1229 01:35:00,612 --> 01:35:01,737 (MAN LAUGHING) 1230 01:35:06,242 --> 01:35:08,285 - Can I help you? - Yeah. 1231 01:35:09,371 --> 01:35:10,704 I'm looking for Anna Scott. 1232 01:35:10,789 --> 01:35:13,165 - Does she know you're coming? - No. 1233 01:35:13,291 --> 01:35:15,459 No, she doesn't. 1234 01:35:15,543 --> 01:35:17,461 I'm afraid I can't let you through, sir. 1235 01:35:17,545 --> 01:35:22,007 Right. I mean, I am actually a friend. I'm not a lunatic. 1236 01:35:23,927 --> 01:35:27,096 - But no, you basically... - Can't let you through, sir. 1237 01:36:08,680 --> 01:36:10,264 Well, this is... 1238 01:36:10,348 --> 01:36:13,183 I only found out you were here yesterday. 1239 01:36:14,477 --> 01:36:17,438 - Well, I was going to call, but I... - WOMAN: Anna. 1240 01:36:17,522 --> 01:36:18,564 Yes. 1241 01:36:20,150 --> 01:36:22,109 Things aren't going very well and it's our last day. 1242 01:36:22,193 --> 01:36:24,611 Absolutely, yeah, you're clearly very busy. 1243 01:36:24,696 --> 01:36:30,033 But if you could wait, there are things to say. 1244 01:36:35,039 --> 01:36:36,165 Okay. 1245 01:36:38,543 --> 01:36:41,170 Drink tea. There's lots of tea. 1246 01:36:48,553 --> 01:36:50,387 Come and have a look. 1247 01:36:54,350 --> 01:36:56,560 Are you a fan of Henry James? 1248 01:36:57,228 --> 01:36:59,938 - This is a Henry James film? - Yeah. 1249 01:37:08,573 --> 01:37:09,656 This is Harry. 1250 01:37:09,741 --> 01:37:13,035 He'll give you a pair of headphones, so you can hear the dialogue. 1251 01:37:13,119 --> 01:37:14,703 - Thank you very much. - No problem. 1252 01:37:14,787 --> 01:37:18,749 - Hi. - Hi, here we go. Volume's on the side. 1253 01:37:18,917 --> 01:37:21,210 - There. Have a seat. - Thank you. 1254 01:37:29,802 --> 01:37:33,096 MAN: We are living in cloud cuckoo land. We'll never get this done today. 1255 01:37:33,181 --> 01:37:35,015 ANNA: Well, we've got to. I have to be in New York on Thursday. 1256 01:37:35,099 --> 01:37:36,767 Stop showing off. 1257 01:37:38,061 --> 01:37:39,811 God, that's an enormous arse. 1258 01:37:39,896 --> 01:37:41,605 ANNA: I'm not listening. 1259 01:37:41,731 --> 01:37:43,690 No, but seriously, it's not fair. 1260 01:37:43,775 --> 01:37:46,693 So many tragic young teenagers with anorexia, 1261 01:37:46,778 --> 01:37:48,862 and that girl has an arse she could perfectly well share around 1262 01:37:48,947 --> 01:37:52,491 with at least 10 other women, and still be big bottomed. 1263 01:37:52,951 --> 01:37:54,993 I would think, looking at something nice like that, 1264 01:37:55,078 --> 01:38:01,041 you and your bony little excuse for an arse would be well advised to keep quiet. 1265 01:38:02,168 --> 01:38:04,378 Now, down to business, the end of the scene. 1266 01:38:04,462 --> 01:38:07,798 I ask you when you're telling everyone, and you say... 1267 01:38:08,967 --> 01:38:11,301 "Tomorrow will be soon enough." 1268 01:38:11,594 --> 01:38:14,096 And then I... Right, okay. 1269 01:38:14,681 --> 01:38:18,183 So who was that rather diffident chap I saw you talking to round the back? 1270 01:38:18,268 --> 01:38:19,476 No one. 1271 01:38:21,563 --> 01:38:23,689 Just some guy from the past. 1272 01:38:24,315 --> 01:38:28,986 It's a bit of an awkward situation really. I don't know what he's doing here. 1273 01:38:45,336 --> 01:38:46,670 Of course. 1274 01:38:48,548 --> 01:38:49,881 (SIGHING) 1275 01:38:53,386 --> 01:38:57,347 - Thanks, I've got to... - Any time. 1276 01:39:07,859 --> 01:39:11,194 MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, can we have you all on your first marks, please. 1277 01:39:11,279 --> 01:39:13,030 On your first marks. 1278 01:39:26,210 --> 01:39:28,920 I do hate to disturb you whilst you're cooking the books, 1279 01:39:29,047 --> 01:39:31,381 but there's a delivery for you. 1280 01:39:32,300 --> 01:39:34,926 Martin, really, can't you just do it yourself? 1281 01:39:35,011 --> 01:39:38,472 But you see, this is not for the shop. This is for you. 1282 01:39:40,850 --> 01:39:42,100 Right, okay. 1283 01:39:42,185 --> 01:39:47,105 Now tell me, if I employed a wet rag, would I have to pay it as much as I pay you? 1284 01:39:50,818 --> 01:39:51,818 Hi. 1285 01:39:53,905 --> 01:39:55,072 Hello. 1286 01:39:55,948 --> 01:39:57,949 You disappeared. 1287 01:39:58,034 --> 01:40:01,286 Yeah. Yeah, I had to leave. 1288 01:40:01,371 --> 01:40:04,164 I didn't want to disturb. 1289 01:40:04,248 --> 01:40:06,249 How have you been? 1290 01:40:06,334 --> 01:40:07,584 Fine. Fine. 1291 01:40:07,669 --> 01:40:09,127 I don't know, everything much the same, you know. 1292 01:40:09,212 --> 01:40:13,006 When they change the law, Spike and I will marry immediately. 1293 01:40:13,591 --> 01:40:17,344 Whereas you, I've watched in wonder. Awards, glory. 1294 01:40:17,637 --> 01:40:21,348 Oh, no, it's all nonsense, believe me. 1295 01:40:21,933 --> 01:40:26,520 I'd no idea how much nonsense it was, but nonsense it all is. 1296 01:40:29,857 --> 01:40:33,944 Well, yesterday was our last day of filming, 1297 01:40:35,405 --> 01:40:36,613 so I'm leaving. 1298 01:40:38,491 --> 01:40:39,700 But... 1299 01:40:42,912 --> 01:40:47,374 I brought this for you from home. So I thought I'd give it to you. 1300 01:40:50,128 --> 01:40:51,461 Thank you. 1301 01:40:54,090 --> 01:40:55,799 - Shall I... - Oh, no, don't open it now, 1302 01:40:55,883 --> 01:40:57,634 I'll be embarrassed. 1303 01:40:59,804 --> 01:41:03,640 Well, thank you. I don't know what it's for, but thanks anyway. 1304 01:41:03,725 --> 01:41:07,602 I actually had it in my apartment. I thought you... 1305 01:41:10,606 --> 01:41:12,232 But when it came to it, 1306 01:41:12,316 --> 01:41:15,819 I didn't know how to call, having behaved so badly. 1307 01:41:16,529 --> 01:41:17,738 Twice. 1308 01:41:19,824 --> 01:41:22,868 So it's just been sitting in the hotel. 1309 01:41:24,328 --> 01:41:27,956 Then you came, and I figured... 1310 01:41:32,336 --> 01:41:36,882 The thing is... 1311 01:41:39,761 --> 01:41:41,720 What? What is the thing? 1312 01:41:43,681 --> 01:41:47,100 Don't even think about it. Go away, immediately. Go away. 1313 01:41:47,185 --> 01:41:49,186 Right. Sorry. 1314 01:41:53,608 --> 01:41:55,233 You were saying? 1315 01:41:57,612 --> 01:41:58,695 Yes. 1316 01:42:01,407 --> 01:42:05,702 I have to go away today, but I wondered if I didn't, 1317 01:42:07,705 --> 01:42:10,707 whether you might let me see you a little, 1318 01:42:11,876 --> 01:42:14,628 or a lot, maybe. 1319 01:42:18,299 --> 01:42:20,634 See if you could like me again. 1320 01:42:21,886 --> 01:42:23,929 But yesterday that actor asked you who I was 1321 01:42:24,013 --> 01:42:26,681 and you just dismissed me out of hand. 1322 01:42:27,809 --> 01:42:29,059 I heard. 1323 01:42:30,978 --> 01:42:33,980 You had a microphone, I had headphones. 1324 01:42:34,065 --> 01:42:36,483 What, you expect me to tell the truth about my life 1325 01:42:36,567 --> 01:42:39,236 to the most indiscreet man in England? 1326 01:42:41,572 --> 01:42:44,533 Excuse me. It's your mother on the phone. 1327 01:42:48,079 --> 01:42:50,497 Will you tell her I'll ring her back, please? 1328 01:42:50,581 --> 01:42:53,458 I've actually tried that tack, but she said you've said that once before, 1329 01:42:53,543 --> 01:42:55,377 and it's now been about 24 hours 1330 01:42:55,461 --> 01:42:58,880 and the foot that was purple is now sort of blackish in colour and... 1331 01:42:58,965 --> 01:43:02,425 Right, right, yeah. Perfect timing as ever. 1332 01:43:04,804 --> 01:43:07,138 Martin, hold the fort a second. 1333 01:43:08,933 --> 01:43:10,475 Yes, all right. 1334 01:43:14,939 --> 01:43:16,439 (MARTIN STUTTERING) 1335 01:43:16,983 --> 01:43:22,195 Could I just say, I thought Ghost was the most wonderful film. 1336 01:43:24,073 --> 01:43:25,532 Is that right? 1337 01:43:25,616 --> 01:43:26,825 Oh, yes. 1338 01:43:31,664 --> 01:43:36,918 I've always wondered what Patrick Swayze's like in real life. 1339 01:43:38,212 --> 01:43:40,714 I can't say that I know Patrick all that well. 1340 01:43:40,798 --> 01:43:43,383 What, he wasn't that friendly during filming? 1341 01:43:43,467 --> 01:43:48,763 Well, I'm sure he was friendly to Demi Moore who acted with him in Ghost. 1342 01:43:52,977 --> 01:43:54,644 Oh, right. Sorry. 1343 01:43:55,521 --> 01:43:58,565 Right. Always been a bit of an ass. 1344 01:44:02,153 --> 01:44:05,906 Anyway, well, it was lovely to meet you. 1345 01:44:06,032 --> 01:44:11,119 I'm a huge fan of yours. And Demi's of course. 1346 01:44:14,248 --> 01:44:15,916 Sorry about that. 1347 01:44:17,084 --> 01:44:18,168 That's fine. 1348 01:44:18,252 --> 01:44:22,672 There's always a pause when the jury goes out to consider their verdict. 1349 01:44:24,634 --> 01:44:26,092 Anna, look... 1350 01:44:27,720 --> 01:44:30,096 I'm a fairly level-headed bloke. 1351 01:44:31,515 --> 01:44:36,519 Not often in and out of love. But... 1352 01:44:42,360 --> 01:44:47,697 Can I just say "no" to your kind request, and leave it at that? 1353 01:44:52,370 --> 01:44:53,411 Yes. 1354 01:44:55,957 --> 01:44:57,999 Fine. Of course, I... 1355 01:44:59,377 --> 01:45:00,710 Of course. 1356 01:45:03,339 --> 01:45:06,716 Well, I'll just be going then. It was nice to see you. 1357 01:45:06,801 --> 01:45:12,055 The thing is, with you I'm in real danger. 1358 01:45:13,182 --> 01:45:18,228 It seems like a perfect situation, apart from that foul temper of yours. 1359 01:45:18,521 --> 01:45:22,357 But my relatively inexperienced heart 1360 01:45:22,441 --> 01:45:25,026 would, I fear, not recover 1361 01:45:25,528 --> 01:45:31,366 if I was once again cast aside, as I would absolutely expect to be. 1362 01:45:32,118 --> 01:45:35,662 There are just too many pictures of you, too many films. 1363 01:45:36,497 --> 01:45:41,459 You know, you'd go, and I'd be well-buggered, basically. 1364 01:45:44,130 --> 01:45:47,257 That really is a real "no," isn't it? 1365 01:45:47,425 --> 01:45:50,844 I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. 1366 01:45:51,971 --> 01:45:53,847 Everyone in the world knows who you are. 1367 01:45:53,931 --> 01:45:56,766 My mother has trouble remembering my name. 1368 01:45:58,227 --> 01:45:59,394 Fine. 1369 01:46:01,647 --> 01:46:03,440 Fine. Good decision. 1370 01:46:04,775 --> 01:46:06,276 Good decision. 1371 01:46:09,613 --> 01:46:12,949 The fame thing isn't really real, you know. 1372 01:46:16,954 --> 01:46:19,205 And don't forget, 1373 01:46:20,624 --> 01:46:25,962 I'm also just a girl standing in front of a boy, 1374 01:46:28,716 --> 01:46:30,633 asking him to love her. 1375 01:46:42,605 --> 01:46:43,646 Bye. 1376 01:47:07,004 --> 01:47:09,422 So, what do you think? Good move? 1377 01:47:09,507 --> 01:47:11,633 HONEY: Yeah, good move. 1378 01:47:11,717 --> 01:47:14,719 I mean, when all's said and done, she's nothing special. 1379 01:47:14,845 --> 01:47:16,179 I saw her taking her trousers down 1380 01:47:16,263 --> 01:47:19,599 and I definitely glimpsed some cellulite down there. 1381 01:47:20,351 --> 01:47:24,437 Good decision, yeah. All actresses are as mad as snakes. 1382 01:47:24,522 --> 01:47:25,605 Tones, what do you reckon? 1383 01:47:25,689 --> 01:47:27,607 Never met her, never want to. 1384 01:47:27,691 --> 01:47:29,400 Brilliant. Max? 1385 01:47:29,485 --> 01:47:31,402 Absolutely. Never trust a vegetarian. 1386 01:47:31,487 --> 01:47:34,072 Great. Thanks. Brilliant. 1387 01:47:37,034 --> 01:47:38,201 I was called and I came. What's up? 1388 01:47:38,285 --> 01:47:40,954 William's just turned down Anna Scott. 1389 01:47:42,206 --> 01:47:45,041 You daft prick. 1390 01:47:45,126 --> 01:47:48,169 No, no. No, no, it's actually quite sensible. 1391 01:47:51,715 --> 01:47:54,801 That painting isn't the original, is it? 1392 01:47:56,720 --> 01:47:59,305 You know, I think it might be, yeah. 1393 01:48:00,850 --> 01:48:03,726 But she said she wanted to go out with you? 1394 01:48:05,855 --> 01:48:07,438 Yeah. 1395 01:48:07,523 --> 01:48:09,149 Well, that's nice. 1396 01:48:10,734 --> 01:48:11,860 What? 1397 01:48:13,445 --> 01:48:15,655 Well, you know, 1398 01:48:15,739 --> 01:48:19,909 anyone saying they wanna go out with you is pretty great, isn't it? 1399 01:48:25,749 --> 01:48:30,420 It was sort of sweet, actually. 1400 01:48:32,256 --> 01:48:36,885 I mean, I know she's an actress and all that, so she can deliver a line, 1401 01:48:36,969 --> 01:48:42,348 but she said she might be as famous as she can be 1402 01:48:42,433 --> 01:48:46,436 but also that she was just a girl, 1403 01:48:48,856 --> 01:48:51,316 standing in front of a boy, 1404 01:48:53,110 --> 01:48:55,612 asking him to love her. 1405 01:49:10,753 --> 01:49:14,214 Oh, sod a dog. I've made the wrong decision, haven't I? 1406 01:49:18,594 --> 01:49:21,221 Max, how fast is your car? 1407 01:49:22,306 --> 01:49:23,556 (HONKING) 1408 01:49:23,641 --> 01:49:24,682 (TYRES SCREECHING) 1409 01:49:24,767 --> 01:49:25,767 Good luck. 1410 01:49:25,851 --> 01:49:28,436 If anyone gets in our way, we have small nuclear devices. 1411 01:49:28,520 --> 01:49:30,855 - Where to? - The Ritz. All I can think is The Ritz. 1412 01:49:30,940 --> 01:49:33,066 - Where's Bella? - She's not coming. 1413 01:49:33,150 --> 01:49:34,901 - Oh, sod that. - What? 1414 01:49:34,985 --> 01:49:36,903 Bernie, sit in the back. 1415 01:49:36,987 --> 01:49:38,446 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1416 01:49:38,530 --> 01:49:40,281 Max, I'm okay. 1417 01:49:43,077 --> 01:49:44,619 Come on, baby. 1418 01:49:47,248 --> 01:49:48,790 Mind your back. 1419 01:49:50,918 --> 01:49:51,918 (TYRES SCREECHING) 1420 01:49:53,045 --> 01:49:54,671 BELLA: Which way are you going? 1421 01:49:54,755 --> 01:49:55,922 MAX: Down Kensington Church Street, 1422 01:49:56,006 --> 01:49:58,216 - then Knightsbridge, then Hyde Park Corner. - No, no, crazy. Crazy. 1423 01:49:58,300 --> 01:50:00,051 - Go along Bayswater. - That's right. Then Park Lane. 1424 01:50:00,135 --> 01:50:02,095 No. No. Straight down to the Cromwell Road, then left. 1425 01:50:02,179 --> 01:50:03,596 No! 1426 01:50:04,181 --> 01:50:05,431 (TYRES SCREECHING) 1427 01:50:05,516 --> 01:50:08,851 Stop right there! I will decide the route. All right? 1428 01:50:09,353 --> 01:50:10,728 BERNIE: Sorry, Max. 1429 01:50:12,523 --> 01:50:14,691 James Bond never has to put up with this sort of shit. 1430 01:50:14,775 --> 01:50:16,150 (TYRES SCREECHING) 1431 01:50:22,658 --> 01:50:24,784 BELLA: Turn right. Turn right! MAX: I can't, it's one way. 1432 01:50:24,868 --> 01:50:27,245 BELLA: Well, do a U-turn. MAX: Oh, sod it. 1433 01:50:27,371 --> 01:50:28,371 Hold on! 1434 01:50:28,455 --> 01:50:31,124 (CARS HONKING) 1435 01:50:34,670 --> 01:50:36,004 WILLIAM: Brilliant! 1436 01:50:36,839 --> 01:50:37,839 (LAUGHING) 1437 01:50:44,388 --> 01:50:46,389 Bloody hell, this is fun. 1438 01:50:47,474 --> 01:50:50,393 Hi. Is Miss Scott staying here? 1439 01:50:50,561 --> 01:50:53,479 - No, sir. - How about Miss Flintstone? 1440 01:50:54,148 --> 01:50:55,273 No, sir. 1441 01:50:55,357 --> 01:50:57,984 - Bambi? - No, sir. 1442 01:50:58,068 --> 01:51:03,781 Or, I don't know, Beavis or Butt-head? 1443 01:51:04,325 --> 01:51:05,575 No, sir. 1444 01:51:07,077 --> 01:51:09,412 Thanks. Thanks. 1445 01:51:10,789 --> 01:51:15,168 There was a Miss Pocahontas, but she checked out about an hour ago. 1446 01:51:15,294 --> 01:51:20,256 I believe she's holding a press conference at the Savoy, before flying to America. 1447 01:51:25,929 --> 01:51:27,597 We have lift off. 1448 01:51:36,440 --> 01:51:38,691 You have message for Takiama? 1449 01:51:39,526 --> 01:51:41,319 I'll just check, sir. 1450 01:52:03,801 --> 01:52:06,344 Bugger this for a bunch of bananas. 1451 01:52:09,556 --> 01:52:10,556 (HONKING) 1452 01:52:10,641 --> 01:52:13,434 Stop! Stop! Stop! 1453 01:52:13,519 --> 01:52:15,061 Go. Go. 1454 01:52:17,064 --> 01:52:22,652 Hang on. Come on. Wait there! Come on, come on! Wait! 1455 01:52:24,154 --> 01:52:26,197 Go on, go, go, go! 1456 01:52:27,658 --> 01:52:29,158 You're my hero! 1457 01:52:31,703 --> 01:52:33,079 Down, boy. 1458 01:52:42,965 --> 01:52:43,965 (TYRES SCREECHING) 1459 01:52:44,049 --> 01:52:45,049 Go! 1460 01:52:53,350 --> 01:52:54,934 - Excuse me. - Yes, sir? 1461 01:52:55,018 --> 01:52:56,310 Where's the press conference, please? 1462 01:52:56,395 --> 01:52:58,187 Are you an accredited member of the press? 1463 01:52:58,272 --> 01:52:59,355 Yeah. 1464 01:53:01,525 --> 01:53:02,817 There you go. 1465 01:53:02,901 --> 01:53:05,611 Yes, that's a Blockbuster Video membership card, sir. 1466 01:53:05,696 --> 01:53:09,073 That's right. I work for their in-house magazine. 1467 01:53:09,158 --> 01:53:10,575 Movies Are Our Business. 1468 01:53:10,659 --> 01:53:13,119 - I'm sorry, sir. - He's with me. 1469 01:53:13,203 --> 01:53:14,454 And you are? 1470 01:53:14,538 --> 01:53:18,708 Writing an article on how London hotels treat people in wheelchairs. 1471 01:53:19,626 --> 01:53:20,793 Yes, of course, madam. 1472 01:53:20,878 --> 01:53:24,964 It's in the Lancaster Room, though I'm afraid you're rather late. 1473 01:53:25,257 --> 01:53:26,340 Run! 1474 01:53:42,399 --> 01:53:46,402 MAN 1: Does this mean that Miss Scott will not be publicising her next film? 1475 01:53:46,487 --> 01:53:48,446 No, it absolutely does not mean that. 1476 01:53:48,530 --> 01:53:50,990 She'll be abiding by all her present commitments. 1477 01:53:51,074 --> 01:53:54,660 She just won't be making any more for the next year. 1478 01:53:54,745 --> 01:53:56,996 MAN 2: When will the film be released? 1479 01:53:57,122 --> 01:54:00,833 At the moment, the plan is to release in America towards the end of the autumn, 1480 01:54:00,918 --> 01:54:04,670 and over here, around Christmas, or early in the New Year. 1481 01:54:04,880 --> 01:54:07,215 Right! Dominic. 1482 01:54:07,424 --> 01:54:10,468 Anna, how much longer are you staying in the UK then? 1483 01:54:10,594 --> 01:54:12,261 No time at all. I leave tonight. 1484 01:54:12,346 --> 01:54:16,766 Which is why we have to round things up now, so final questions, please. 1485 01:54:17,434 --> 01:54:19,101 Yes, lady there. 1486 01:54:19,770 --> 01:54:23,814 Is your decision to take a year off anything to do with the rumours about Jeff 1487 01:54:23,899 --> 01:54:25,525 and his present leading lady? 1488 01:54:25,609 --> 01:54:27,068 Absolutely not. 1489 01:54:27,152 --> 01:54:28,819 Do you believe the rumours? 1490 01:54:28,904 --> 01:54:32,073 Well, it's really not my business any more. 1491 01:54:32,157 --> 01:54:37,995 Though, I will say, from my experience, rumours about Jeff do tend to be true. 1492 01:54:38,580 --> 01:54:40,498 (ALL CHUCKLING) 1493 01:54:40,582 --> 01:54:41,666 Yeah. 1494 01:54:41,750 --> 01:54:44,794 The last time you were here, there were some fairly graphic photographs 1495 01:54:44,878 --> 01:54:48,464 taken of you with a young English guy. 1496 01:54:49,132 --> 01:54:51,342 So, what happened there? 1497 01:54:51,718 --> 01:54:54,971 He was just a friend. We're still friends, I think. 1498 01:54:56,807 --> 01:55:01,060 Right. Yes, gentleman in the pink shirt. 1499 01:55:06,608 --> 01:55:07,650 Yes. 1500 01:55:09,069 --> 01:55:13,614 Miss Scott, are there any circumstances in which 1501 01:55:13,699 --> 01:55:18,869 the two of you might be more than just good friends? 1502 01:55:21,582 --> 01:55:26,586 I hoped there would be, but no, I'm assured there aren't. 1503 01:55:26,712 --> 01:55:29,714 - But what would you say if... - I'm sorry, just the one question, please. 1504 01:55:29,798 --> 01:55:32,341 No, it's all right. You were saying? 1505 01:55:34,386 --> 01:55:40,099 I was just wondering if it turned out that this person... 1506 01:55:41,226 --> 01:55:43,603 Thacker. His name's Thacker. 1507 01:55:43,687 --> 01:55:45,229 Thanks. Thanks. 1508 01:55:45,564 --> 01:55:49,650 I just wondered whether if Mr Thacker realised 1509 01:55:49,735 --> 01:55:52,236 he'd been a daft prick 1510 01:55:52,529 --> 01:55:54,363 (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 1511 01:55:54,448 --> 01:55:58,284 And got down on his knees and begged you to reconsider, 1512 01:55:58,368 --> 01:56:03,414 whether you would, in fact, then reconsider? 1513 01:56:13,675 --> 01:56:15,551 Yes, I believe I would. 1514 01:56:18,889 --> 01:56:20,765 That's very good news. 1515 01:56:23,727 --> 01:56:27,438 The readers of Horse & Hound will be absolutely delighted. 1516 01:56:27,564 --> 01:56:29,190 (ALL LAUGHING) 1517 01:56:33,904 --> 01:56:37,490 Right, Dominic, if you'd like to ask your question again? 1518 01:56:37,574 --> 01:56:38,574 Yeah. 1519 01:56:39,034 --> 01:56:42,578 Anna, how long are you intending to stay here in Britain? 1520 01:56:50,379 --> 01:56:51,879 Indefinitely. 1521 01:56:53,090 --> 01:56:55,299 (CROWD CHATTERING) 1522 01:56:55,425 --> 01:56:57,635 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 1523 01:57:16,279 --> 01:57:19,281 - What happened? - It was good. 1524 01:57:40,804 --> 01:57:42,847 Are you gonna get married? 1525 01:58:36,234 --> 01:58:37,568 (CROWD CHEERING) 1526 02:00:01,945 --> 02:00:04,905 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 1527 02:01:53,932 --> 02:01:55,349 (POP MUSIC PLAYING)