1 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:50,808 Mom! 2 00:00:52,543 --> 00:00:54,340 Mom! Help me. 3 00:00:57,548 --> 00:00:58,515 What is it? 4 00:00:58,616 --> 00:01:01,448 I wasn't dreaming, Walt. I didn't imagine it. 5 00:01:01,551 --> 00:01:04,679 I heard him. I heard him. I heard him. I heard Chris. 6 00:01:04,955 --> 00:01:07,549 - I heard him! - I know. 7 00:01:07,791 --> 00:01:10,282 No. I wasn't imagining it, Walt. 8 00:01:10,727 --> 00:01:13,218 No, I did. He's... He's... 9 00:01:14,464 --> 00:01:16,659 - I heard him! - Billie. 10 00:03:43,639 --> 00:03:45,663 That's about as far as I can get you. 11 00:03:45,773 --> 00:03:47,365 All right. Thank you. 12 00:04:01,322 --> 00:04:04,654 - You left all your shit on my dash. - Keep it. 13 00:04:05,659 --> 00:04:07,126 Suit yourself. 14 00:04:07,761 --> 00:04:09,194 Thanks again. 15 00:04:11,198 --> 00:04:13,029 Hey, hold on a minute. 16 00:04:17,304 --> 00:04:20,205 Here, take these. They'll keep your feet dry. 17 00:04:21,641 --> 00:04:25,508 If you make it out alive, give me a call. My number's inside the boots. 18 00:04:25,845 --> 00:04:27,005 Thanks. 19 00:09:04,842 --> 00:09:05,968 Hello? 20 00:10:11,639 --> 00:10:15,199 Is there anybody here? 21 00:10:18,111 --> 00:10:19,578 Guess not! 22 00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:30,371 Two years he walks the earth. 23 00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:39,952 No phone, no pool, no pets, 24 00:11:41,123 --> 00:11:42,590 no cigarettes. 25 00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:01,702 Ultimate freedom. 26 00:12:03,677 --> 00:12:07,636 An extremist. An aesthetic voyager 27 00:12:09,483 --> 00:12:13,613 whose home is the road. 28 00:12:14,588 --> 00:12:17,955 "Hey, listen, old man. Now, don't psychoanalyze me, all right? 29 00:12:18,325 --> 00:12:20,952 "Shut up. I'm taking you out to where we're going." 30 00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:22,618 "Where you going?" 31 00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:25,422 "I told you. We're going nowhere!" 32 00:12:28,034 --> 00:12:33,631 So now, after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. 33 00:12:35,241 --> 00:12:38,472 The climactic battle to kill 34 00:12:39,911 --> 00:12:41,776 the false being within 35 00:12:42,981 --> 00:12:46,849 and victoriously conclude the spiritual revolution. 36 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:21,142 No longer to be poisoned by civilization, he flees, 37 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,781 and walks alone upon the land to become 38 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,780 lost in the wild. 39 00:13:59,353 --> 00:14:04,381 ...hard work and manifold contributions to our community during their time here, 40 00:14:05,359 --> 00:14:08,658 we salute you and offer all of you 41 00:14:08,829 --> 00:14:11,888 one more round of applause and congratulations. 42 00:14:18,705 --> 00:14:21,469 Nina Lynn Lockwynn. 43 00:14:26,413 --> 00:14:29,610 Vanessa Denise Lowery. 44 00:14:34,019 --> 00:14:37,455 Christopher Johnson McCandless. 45 00:14:48,633 --> 00:14:51,830 Regina Victoria McNabb. 46 00:15:15,025 --> 00:15:18,620 I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges. 47 00:15:21,865 --> 00:15:25,857 I see my father strolling out under the ochre sandstone arch, 48 00:15:26,302 --> 00:15:30,398 the red tiles glinting like bent plates of blood behind his head. 49 00:15:31,407 --> 00:15:34,137 I see my mother with a few light books at her hip, 50 00:15:34,243 --> 00:15:37,838 standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks with the wrought-iron gates 51 00:15:37,947 --> 00:15:42,008 still open behind her, its sword-tips black in the May air. 52 00:15:43,018 --> 00:15:45,076 They are about to graduate. 53 00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:51,054 They are about to get married. They are kids. They are dumb. 54 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:55,686 All they know is they are innocent, they would never hurt anybody. 55 00:15:57,966 --> 00:16:01,629 I want to go up to them and say, "Stop, don't do it. 56 00:16:01,935 --> 00:16:05,462 "She's the wrong woman, he's the wrong man. 57 00:16:05,806 --> 00:16:09,833 "You are going to do things you cannot imagine you would ever do. 58 00:16:10,043 --> 00:16:13,103 "You are going to do bad things to children. 59 00:16:13,213 --> 00:16:15,773 "You are going to suffer in ways you never heard of. 60 00:16:15,883 --> 00:16:17,851 "You are going to want to die." 61 00:16:20,353 --> 00:16:24,380 I want to go up to them there in the late May sunlight and say it. 62 00:16:24,824 --> 00:16:27,759 But I don't do it. I want to live. 63 00:16:29,795 --> 00:16:33,822 I take them up like the male and female paper dolls, and bang them together 64 00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:38,892 at the hips like chips of flint, as if to strike sparks from them. I say, 65 00:16:40,438 --> 00:16:44,932 "Do what you are going to do and I will tell about it." 66 00:16:46,244 --> 00:16:48,678 Here they are, Walt. Okay? 67 00:16:49,648 --> 00:16:51,309 Who wrote that? 68 00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:56,344 Well, could have been either one of us, couldn't it? 69 00:16:56,454 --> 00:16:59,115 Why is he letting Carine drive his car? 70 00:16:59,957 --> 00:17:02,517 There's a lot of great poems in here. 71 00:17:07,431 --> 00:17:09,626 I have to speak to her about it. 72 00:17:09,733 --> 00:17:10,722 Sit down. 73 00:17:11,702 --> 00:17:13,499 Excuse me. I'm going to get my son. 74 00:17:13,604 --> 00:17:16,766 He just graduated today from Emory College. 75 00:17:16,873 --> 00:17:18,135 I'll get it. I'll get it. 76 00:17:18,241 --> 00:17:21,802 Chris, hi! We've been waiting and waiting. 77 00:17:21,911 --> 00:17:26,280 You scared me half to death jumping up there on that stage like that. 78 00:17:27,550 --> 00:17:29,745 - Hi, Dad. - Congratulations, Son. 79 00:17:29,919 --> 00:17:33,252 - This is a big step. - Thank you, Dad. 80 00:17:33,823 --> 00:17:35,119 All right. 81 00:17:36,391 --> 00:17:38,260 You're not supposed to be driving in Georgia. 82 00:17:38,493 --> 00:17:39,585 Why? I have my permit. 83 00:17:39,695 --> 00:17:41,890 'Cause it's against the law for a learner's permit 84 00:17:41,997 --> 00:17:45,364 to drive in another state from one's home state. That's why. 85 00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:48,868 I didn't know that. I thought that if I was with a legal driver that it'd be okay. 86 00:17:48,971 --> 00:17:49,938 Well, let's... 87 00:17:59,647 --> 00:18:02,673 - Are they going to continue? - No. 88 00:18:05,019 --> 00:18:07,613 I guess everybody's celebrating today. 89 00:18:07,888 --> 00:18:11,687 - They're going to stay in the bar, right? - That's right. 90 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:26,732 My grades are good enough, I think, to get into Harvard Law. 91 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,774 Chris, that's wonderful. 92 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,301 That is a big deal. 93 00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,707 How much do you have left in the college fund? 94 00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:41,278 Exactly $24,500.68. 95 00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,014 Well, that's specific. 96 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,852 I had to go to the bank this morning, Mom. 97 00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:51,689 Your mother and I will be glad to contribute the balance for Harvard. 98 00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:53,229 That's right. 99 00:18:53,564 --> 00:18:54,861 I've got to figure out what I'm going to do. 100 00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:58,402 I've got a lot of things to pack and organize here first. 101 00:18:58,503 --> 00:19:02,963 Your father and I, we want to make a present to you. 102 00:19:03,808 --> 00:19:06,401 We want to get you out of that junker. 103 00:19:06,977 --> 00:19:08,342 What junker? 104 00:19:08,845 --> 00:19:10,073 That. 105 00:19:12,516 --> 00:19:15,815 - We want to buy you a new car. - That's right. 106 00:19:15,986 --> 00:19:17,385 A new car? 107 00:19:19,656 --> 00:19:21,715 Why would I want a new car? 108 00:19:22,826 --> 00:19:24,487 Datsun runs great. 109 00:19:26,062 --> 00:19:28,826 Do you think I want some fancy boat? 110 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,726 Are you worried what the neighbors might think? 111 00:19:33,903 --> 00:19:36,701 Well, we weren't gonna get you a brand new Cadillac, Chris. 112 00:19:36,806 --> 00:19:40,003 We just want to get you a nice new car that's safe to drive. 113 00:19:40,109 --> 00:19:43,635 And you never know when that thing out there just might blow up. 114 00:19:43,745 --> 00:19:49,945 Blow up. Blow up? Are you guys crazy? It's a great car. 115 00:19:50,518 --> 00:19:54,716 I don't need a new car. I don't want a new car. 116 00:19:55,123 --> 00:19:57,182 - I don't want anything. - Okay. 117 00:19:57,292 --> 00:20:01,023 - These things, things, things, things. - Okay. 118 00:20:01,129 --> 00:20:02,891 - Everything has to be difficult. - Thank you. 119 00:20:02,996 --> 00:20:05,055 - Thank you. - Maybe that's not what he means. 120 00:20:05,165 --> 00:20:08,794 Maybe he just wants his old car. It's not such a big deal. 121 00:20:11,138 --> 00:20:13,732 Thank you. I just don't want anything. 122 00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:25,548 Chris measured himself and those around him 123 00:20:25,651 --> 00:20:28,176 by a fiercely rigorous moral code. 124 00:20:28,321 --> 00:20:29,379 Bye, Chris! 125 00:20:29,756 --> 00:20:32,816 He risked what could have been a relentlessly lonely path 126 00:20:32,925 --> 00:20:36,622 but found company in the characters of the books he loved 127 00:20:39,264 --> 00:20:43,462 from writers like Tolstoy, Jack London and Thoreau. 128 00:20:45,137 --> 00:20:48,265 He could summon their words to suit any occasion, 129 00:20:49,107 --> 00:20:50,802 and he often would. 130 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:11,217 I forgot to ask what quote he'd have picked for his graduation dinner, 131 00:21:11,328 --> 00:21:14,889 but I had a good idea of who the primary target would be. 132 00:21:19,769 --> 00:21:22,738 It was inevitable that Chris would break away. 133 00:21:24,808 --> 00:21:29,404 And when he did, he would do it with characteristic immoderation. 134 00:22:14,888 --> 00:22:19,222 "It should not be denied that being footloose has always exhilarated us. 135 00:22:20,260 --> 00:22:23,127 "It is associated in our minds with escape 136 00:22:24,331 --> 00:22:28,131 "from history and oppression and law and irksome obligations. 137 00:22:29,668 --> 00:22:31,363 "Absolute freedom. 138 00:22:33,672 --> 00:22:36,038 "And the road has always led west." 139 00:24:36,322 --> 00:24:37,788 I need a name. 140 00:25:07,184 --> 00:25:09,049 Toward the end of June, 141 00:25:09,153 --> 00:25:12,145 Emory had mailed our parents Chris' final grade report. 142 00:25:12,757 --> 00:25:14,315 Almost all A's. 143 00:25:14,791 --> 00:25:17,487 A in Apartheid in South African Society. 144 00:25:18,328 --> 00:25:22,822 A-minus in Contemporary African Politics and the Food Crisis in Africa. 145 00:25:23,767 --> 00:25:27,100 And on it went. Clever boy, my brother. 146 00:25:28,738 --> 00:25:32,401 But by the end of July, we hadn't heard anything from him 147 00:25:32,509 --> 00:25:34,999 and my parents were becoming unsettled. 148 00:25:36,645 --> 00:25:38,977 Chris had never had a phone, 149 00:25:39,081 --> 00:25:42,573 so they decided to drive down to Atlanta and surprise him. 150 00:25:57,699 --> 00:26:00,429 When they arrived at the apartment, there was a "For Rent" sign up 151 00:26:00,535 --> 00:26:03,993 and the manager said that Chris had moved out at the end of May. 152 00:26:04,105 --> 00:26:06,130 Oh, yes. He left two months ago. 153 00:26:06,441 --> 00:26:08,432 So when they got home, 154 00:26:08,543 --> 00:26:12,638 I had to hand them all the letters that they had sent Chris that summer, 155 00:26:13,246 --> 00:26:17,046 which had been returned in a bundle. 156 00:26:17,484 --> 00:26:21,648 Chris had arranged for the post office to hold them until August 1st, 157 00:26:21,755 --> 00:26:24,622 to buy himself some time. 158 00:26:25,692 --> 00:26:27,683 Did you know about this? 159 00:26:28,328 --> 00:26:30,192 He didn't say anything. 160 00:26:30,863 --> 00:26:34,390 I understood what he was doing. That he had spent four years 161 00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:38,527 fulfilling the absurd and tedious duty of graduating from college, 162 00:26:41,207 --> 00:26:45,644 and now he was emancipated from that world of abstraction, 163 00:26:45,745 --> 00:26:50,238 false security, parents and material excess, 164 00:26:51,282 --> 00:26:55,082 the things that cut Chris off from the truth of his existence. 165 00:28:09,423 --> 00:28:10,549 Hey! 166 00:28:14,595 --> 00:28:17,428 - Hey, man. Step around. Jump in. - Okay, great. 167 00:28:18,032 --> 00:28:21,262 We barely saw you there underneath that crazy hat of yours. 168 00:28:21,434 --> 00:28:25,097 This door's a little tricky. There you go. Hop in. 169 00:28:28,741 --> 00:28:29,935 That's Rainey. 170 00:28:30,043 --> 00:28:31,738 - Hi, Rainey. - Yeah, I'm Rainey. 171 00:28:31,845 --> 00:28:33,472 - I'm Jan. - Hi. I'm Alex. 172 00:28:33,580 --> 00:28:34,911 Alex with the hat on. 173 00:28:35,014 --> 00:28:37,073 - Yeah, I know. You said it, man. - Yeah. 174 00:28:38,851 --> 00:28:40,785 So you're a leather now. 175 00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:43,112 I'm a leather? 176 00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:48,319 Yeah, a leather tramp. That's what they call the ones that hoof it, go on foot. 177 00:28:49,194 --> 00:28:51,389 Technically we're rubber tramps. 178 00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:53,487 Because we have a vehicle. 179 00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:57,964 - You don't have to push me away. - Come on, please? 180 00:28:59,503 --> 00:29:04,600 Yeah, Alex could have a vehicle as well, but he decided to burn all of his money. 181 00:29:06,911 --> 00:29:08,845 And why did you do that? 182 00:29:10,615 --> 00:29:13,914 I don't need money. Makes people cautious. 183 00:29:16,319 --> 00:29:18,844 Come on, Alex. You gotta be a little cautious. 184 00:29:18,955 --> 00:29:22,015 I mean, that book of yours is cool and everything, 185 00:29:22,325 --> 00:29:25,385 but you can't depend entirely on leaves and berries. 186 00:29:26,563 --> 00:29:30,158 I don't know if you want to depend on much more than that. 187 00:29:31,067 --> 00:29:33,125 Where are your mom and dad? 188 00:29:36,171 --> 00:29:38,332 Living their lies somewhere. 189 00:29:41,377 --> 00:29:43,868 You look like a loved kid. Be fair. 190 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:46,138 Fair? 191 00:29:47,182 --> 00:29:48,945 You know what I mean. 192 00:29:52,053 --> 00:29:54,248 I'll paraphrase Thoreau here. 193 00:29:55,290 --> 00:29:59,556 "Rather than love, than money, than faith, 194 00:29:59,694 --> 00:30:03,687 "than fame, than fairness, 195 00:30:06,134 --> 00:30:07,692 "give me truth." 196 00:30:29,155 --> 00:30:32,181 From as long ago as Chris and I could remember, 197 00:30:32,358 --> 00:30:35,521 there have been daily bouts of rage in our house. 198 00:30:35,628 --> 00:30:40,088 Violence that we were forced to witness. It was very real. 199 00:30:42,034 --> 00:30:44,594 But it was also like theater. 200 00:30:46,138 --> 00:30:50,073 They cast us as both judges and the accused. 201 00:30:50,442 --> 00:30:56,039 And I got you this token, this expensive token. 202 00:30:56,481 --> 00:30:58,608 Dad had been the young genius 203 00:30:58,717 --> 00:31:03,518 that NASA enlisted to do crucial designs for the American satellite radar systems 204 00:31:03,621 --> 00:31:08,114 that would be our answer to the Russian Sputnik. 205 00:31:08,225 --> 00:31:10,659 And Mom and he later started up a consulting firm 206 00:31:10,761 --> 00:31:14,197 combining her get-up-and-go resourcefulness 207 00:31:14,298 --> 00:31:15,890 with his wealth of knowledge. 208 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,161 Look at this. 209 00:31:21,238 --> 00:31:24,934 But by the time the company actually made its first million, 210 00:31:25,308 --> 00:31:30,041 the careerism and money seemed only to embolden their blindness. 211 00:31:30,713 --> 00:31:32,681 Thank you very, very much. 212 00:31:33,750 --> 00:31:36,275 I remember the first family meeting 213 00:31:36,652 --> 00:31:40,053 to let us in on their plans for getting a divorce. 214 00:31:40,857 --> 00:31:44,257 They wanted us to choose which of them we'd live with. 215 00:31:46,261 --> 00:31:48,092 We cried our eyes out. 216 00:31:50,365 --> 00:31:52,526 The divorce never happened, 217 00:31:53,301 --> 00:31:56,395 but the battles and the meetings never stopped. 218 00:31:57,706 --> 00:32:00,765 It wasn't very long before Chris and I shut off. 219 00:32:02,676 --> 00:32:05,406 We'd say "Go ahead. 220 00:32:07,048 --> 00:32:08,675 "Get the divorce." 221 00:32:10,151 --> 00:32:15,020 Jeez. If I struck a match to you I'd have dinner and warmth at the same time. 222 00:32:16,123 --> 00:32:17,750 Where's Jan going? 223 00:32:20,326 --> 00:32:21,884 Well, my friend, 224 00:32:23,463 --> 00:32:25,954 all is not well on the hippie front. 225 00:32:35,675 --> 00:32:38,768 You're an industrious little fucker, aren't you? 226 00:32:40,045 --> 00:32:41,376 Little bit. 227 00:32:46,385 --> 00:32:50,754 It's funny how things happen at particular times. 228 00:32:52,758 --> 00:32:56,193 I've loved that woman for a lot of years, bro. 229 00:32:59,197 --> 00:33:01,825 But, you know, she's got a story. 230 00:33:02,767 --> 00:33:06,965 We've been going through this thing, real quiet. 231 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:13,700 So when we ran into you yesterday, 232 00:33:14,211 --> 00:33:17,476 this thing that we've been going through real quiet, 233 00:33:18,582 --> 00:33:21,483 she's talking about it. You know what I mean? 234 00:33:22,018 --> 00:33:24,919 - I think I do. - You think what? 235 00:33:27,858 --> 00:33:28,825 Well... 236 00:33:31,962 --> 00:33:35,863 Some people feel like they don't deserve love. 237 00:33:36,265 --> 00:33:40,634 They walk away quietly into empty spaces, 238 00:33:42,304 --> 00:33:45,364 trying to close the gaps to the past. 239 00:33:45,541 --> 00:33:48,601 That's a hell of an insight. Jesus! 240 00:33:51,613 --> 00:33:54,582 - You're not Jesus, are you? - Look who's talking. 241 00:33:54,682 --> 00:33:59,346 You gonna walk across the water and get her back for me, pal? 242 00:34:00,155 --> 00:34:03,818 No. I'm afraid of water. 243 00:34:04,492 --> 00:34:06,084 Always have been. 244 00:34:06,394 --> 00:34:12,229 Something I've gotta get over sometime though, huh? So I will swim in it 245 00:34:12,566 --> 00:34:15,364 if you'll carry the firewood back to camp. 246 00:34:17,704 --> 00:34:19,296 - Shit, yeah. - Yeah? 247 00:34:19,406 --> 00:34:21,897 - Call it carried. - All right. 248 00:34:56,675 --> 00:34:59,405 "The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, 249 00:35:03,181 --> 00:35:06,081 "and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. 250 00:35:06,817 --> 00:35:10,446 "Now, I don't know much about the sea, 251 00:35:11,088 --> 00:35:14,114 "but I do know that that's the way it is here. 252 00:35:15,693 --> 00:35:18,161 "And I also know how important it is in life 253 00:35:18,262 --> 00:35:22,289 "not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong, 254 00:35:23,533 --> 00:35:26,024 "to measure yourself at least once, 255 00:35:27,704 --> 00:35:32,141 "to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, 256 00:35:33,810 --> 00:35:36,370 "facing the blind, deaf stone alone 257 00:35:37,013 --> 00:35:41,108 "with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head." 258 00:35:46,355 --> 00:35:48,585 There's a big wave coming! 259 00:35:52,394 --> 00:35:54,919 Rainey, I'm freezing! 260 00:35:55,530 --> 00:35:59,693 Could you put your arms around me? 261 00:36:21,721 --> 00:36:26,317 The Navy bulldozed and abandoned this base down there, 262 00:36:26,426 --> 00:36:33,527 and all that's left is this huge grid of concrete foundations, or slabs. 263 00:36:34,100 --> 00:36:37,899 - Man, you would dig the Slabs. - You would like it. You would like it. 264 00:36:38,003 --> 00:36:40,198 - Lf you're on the road still. - You'd love it. 265 00:36:40,306 --> 00:36:41,739 Fellow travelers. 266 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,434 Just living on the cheap under the sun. Can't beat it. 267 00:36:44,543 --> 00:36:45,908 Sounds good. 268 00:36:46,145 --> 00:36:48,739 If you come, I'll make you a proper hat. 269 00:36:48,847 --> 00:36:51,941 - Promise? - I swear to God. 270 00:36:59,691 --> 00:37:02,455 Oh, baby. Baby. 271 00:37:02,927 --> 00:37:05,361 - Stop it. Wait. - Yeah. 272 00:37:08,066 --> 00:37:10,500 - Oh, yes. - Okay. 273 00:37:12,136 --> 00:37:13,830 Let me turn off the light. 274 00:37:55,710 --> 00:37:59,771 - He reminded me of... - I know. 275 00:38:08,622 --> 00:38:11,750 Such is the way of the world 276 00:38:11,892 --> 00:38:14,292 You can never know 277 00:38:17,197 --> 00:38:23,067 Just where to put all your faith And how will it grow? 278 00:38:24,872 --> 00:38:27,533 Gonna rise up 279 00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:32,236 Burning back holes in dark memories 280 00:38:33,045 --> 00:38:35,639 Gonna rise up 281 00:38:35,748 --> 00:38:40,082 Turning mistakes into gold 282 00:38:40,186 --> 00:38:43,815 I mean, you're really good. I mean, you're like 283 00:38:45,091 --> 00:38:49,959 100,000 times better than, like, any apple I've ever had. 284 00:38:51,797 --> 00:38:54,163 I'm not Superman, I'm Supertramp. 285 00:38:56,368 --> 00:38:58,233 You're Superapple. 286 00:38:58,336 --> 00:39:05,036 You're so tasty. You're so organic, so natural. 287 00:39:06,243 --> 00:39:08,336 You're the apple of my eye. 288 00:39:10,714 --> 00:39:17,210 Hey! Such is the passage of time Too fast to fold 289 00:39:18,956 --> 00:39:25,053 And suddenly swallowed by signs Lo and behold 290 00:39:26,396 --> 00:39:29,194 Gonna rise up 291 00:39:29,299 --> 00:39:33,861 Find my direction magnetically 292 00:39:34,537 --> 00:39:37,131 Gonna rise up 293 00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:41,676 Throw down my ace in the hole 294 00:39:43,912 --> 00:39:48,315 In early September, Mom and Dad got a call from the Annandale police 295 00:39:48,417 --> 00:39:50,442 notifying them that Chris' abandoned car 296 00:39:50,552 --> 00:39:53,953 had been identified by the Arizona Highway Patrol. 297 00:39:54,456 --> 00:39:58,620 A group of rare flower hunters stumbled upon it in the desert. 298 00:39:59,994 --> 00:40:03,521 There were no signs that Chris had intended to return to it. 299 00:40:03,631 --> 00:40:06,759 But there wasn't any evidence of struggle, either. 300 00:40:08,703 --> 00:40:11,103 The police thought Chris had chosen to leave it behind 301 00:40:11,205 --> 00:40:13,867 and not that it was taken from him. 302 00:40:17,477 --> 00:40:22,414 The initial comfort that gave Mom and Dad quickly turned 303 00:40:22,516 --> 00:40:27,249 to the realization that Chris was actually trying not to be found. 304 00:41:08,393 --> 00:41:09,758 Strong. 305 00:41:11,062 --> 00:41:15,395 You can do anything. You can go anywhere. 306 00:41:16,166 --> 00:41:22,196 Money, power is an illusion. It's up here. 307 00:41:23,740 --> 00:41:25,298 You can be here. 308 00:41:26,577 --> 00:41:29,068 Me and you. 309 00:41:43,559 --> 00:41:48,087 One, two. No, no, no. 310 00:41:55,837 --> 00:41:57,304 Two, 311 00:42:02,010 --> 00:42:03,136 three... 312 00:42:54,159 --> 00:42:56,491 Don't be shy with it. Get it moving there. That's good. 313 00:42:57,162 --> 00:42:58,823 - That's your speed right here. - Right. 314 00:42:59,931 --> 00:43:01,865 You go too fast, you won't get all the wheat. 315 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,997 That's it, straight line, straight line, little straighter. 316 00:43:05,102 --> 00:43:08,401 See how you're bearing? Just a little straighter. Now you're a combiner. 317 00:43:08,506 --> 00:43:10,565 Wow, look at this view! 318 00:43:10,675 --> 00:43:13,337 But keep your eye on the wheat, here. Make sure you're cutting it. 319 00:43:13,444 --> 00:43:16,607 You can look back here and see how much is coming out, all right. 320 00:43:16,714 --> 00:43:18,341 - How do you feel? - I feel great. 321 00:43:18,449 --> 00:43:21,475 Okay, keep it straight. God bless you. 322 00:43:21,585 --> 00:43:23,882 Make yourself some money, my friend. I'll see you in a little bit. 323 00:43:23,987 --> 00:43:25,011 Okay. 324 00:43:31,795 --> 00:43:35,595 Wayne. Where you going? 325 00:43:54,450 --> 00:43:58,783 Kevin, you know I love you. I'm joking with you. I'm joking. Stop it. 326 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:02,185 - I'm joking with you. - Mind your own business, Wayne! 327 00:44:02,290 --> 00:44:04,451 - What are you getting so hostile for? - I don't know. 328 00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:06,857 Me and you are on the same side. We're on the same side. 329 00:44:06,961 --> 00:44:10,021 - I'm just tired of the teasing a lot. - Kevin, we're on the same side. 330 00:44:10,131 --> 00:44:14,761 Let me get some... If I want some vagina, let me get it. 331 00:44:14,869 --> 00:44:17,359 - Whoa. He's serious about this. - Let's just play cards. 332 00:44:17,471 --> 00:44:19,029 - Can we just play cards? - Let's go, then. 333 00:44:19,139 --> 00:44:21,869 $2, $4, $6, just put all the money in. 334 00:44:21,975 --> 00:44:23,806 I just wanna see everybody going for broke. 335 00:44:23,910 --> 00:44:26,470 - You want to play? - No. 336 00:44:41,427 --> 00:44:43,224 - Kevin, what have you got for the week? - I got 260. 337 00:44:43,329 --> 00:44:45,024 We're at 260. 338 00:44:51,504 --> 00:44:53,369 We're gonna stay right at 260, that's our number. 339 00:44:53,472 --> 00:44:55,302 We've got 20,000 pounds. 340 00:44:55,406 --> 00:44:59,240 We've got 20,000 pounds we need to get rid of. 341 00:45:02,147 --> 00:45:06,106 Maybe just do all that after lunch before we get back into everything else. 342 00:45:06,217 --> 00:45:09,653 Can we do the $500 reserves... 343 00:45:18,595 --> 00:45:21,086 What do you think about all this? 344 00:45:21,965 --> 00:45:23,523 I like all this. 345 00:45:35,645 --> 00:45:37,977 I don't think he can do it. 346 00:45:41,150 --> 00:45:43,209 Is there a library or bookstore around here 347 00:45:43,319 --> 00:45:45,378 where I can get books on hunting and preserving? 348 00:45:45,488 --> 00:45:47,479 Anything at all to do with hunting or preserving the meat, 349 00:45:47,590 --> 00:45:49,614 smoking it, whatever the hell it is, 350 00:45:49,724 --> 00:45:52,591 talk to Kevin over there. That's your man. 351 00:45:52,961 --> 00:45:56,124 Outdoorsman. What's your fascination with all that stuff? 352 00:45:56,231 --> 00:45:57,823 I'm going to Alaska. 353 00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,101 Alaska, Alaska? Or city Alaska? 354 00:46:01,203 --> 00:46:03,728 Because they do have markets in Alaska. 355 00:46:03,839 --> 00:46:07,002 The city of Alaska. Not in Alaska. In the city of Alaska, they have markets. 356 00:46:07,108 --> 00:46:10,338 No, man. Alaska, Alaska. 357 00:46:10,911 --> 00:46:14,677 I'm gonna be all the way out there, all the way fucking out there. 358 00:46:15,416 --> 00:46:16,610 Just on my own. 359 00:46:16,717 --> 00:46:22,212 You know, no fucking watch, no map, no ax, no nothing. No nothing. 360 00:46:22,323 --> 00:46:24,985 Just be out there. Just be out there in it. 361 00:46:25,092 --> 00:46:29,460 You know, big mountains, rivers, sky, game. 362 00:46:29,562 --> 00:46:33,430 Just be out there in it, you know? In the wild. 363 00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,500 - In the wild. - Just wild. 364 00:46:35,602 --> 00:46:37,593 - Yeah. - Just... 365 00:46:37,737 --> 00:46:38,761 What are you doing when we're there? 366 00:46:38,872 --> 00:46:41,067 Now you're in the wild, what are we doing? 367 00:46:41,174 --> 00:46:42,300 You're just living, man. 368 00:46:42,408 --> 00:46:45,808 You're just there, in that moment, in that special place and time. 369 00:46:45,911 --> 00:46:47,105 Yeah. 370 00:46:47,246 --> 00:46:49,771 Maybe when I get back, I can write a book about my travels. 371 00:46:49,882 --> 00:46:50,871 Why not? 372 00:46:50,983 --> 00:46:53,042 You know, about getting out of this sick society. 373 00:46:53,151 --> 00:46:55,915 - Society! - Society! 374 00:46:56,021 --> 00:46:57,579 - Society, man! - Society! 375 00:46:57,689 --> 00:46:59,884 - Society! Society! - Society! 376 00:46:59,992 --> 00:47:02,688 Society, you know! Society! 377 00:47:03,527 --> 00:47:06,155 'Cause you know what I don't understand? 378 00:47:06,264 --> 00:47:10,223 I don't understand why people, why every fucking person 379 00:47:10,334 --> 00:47:13,667 is so bad to each other so fucking often. 380 00:47:13,771 --> 00:47:18,902 It doesn't make sense to me. Judgment. Control. All that, the whole spectrum. 381 00:47:19,010 --> 00:47:22,775 - Well, it just... - What "people" we talking about? 382 00:47:24,447 --> 00:47:29,146 You know, parents, hypocrites, 383 00:47:30,053 --> 00:47:33,489 politicians, pricks. 384 00:47:35,125 --> 00:47:37,559 This is a mistake. 385 00:47:37,661 --> 00:47:41,323 It's a mistake to get too deep into all that kind of stuff. 386 00:47:44,033 --> 00:47:47,230 Alex, you're a hell of a young guy, a hell of a young guy. 387 00:47:48,871 --> 00:47:50,736 But I promise you this. 388 00:47:51,974 --> 00:47:56,536 You're a young guy! Can't be juggling blood and fire all the time! 389 00:47:57,012 --> 00:48:00,242 - You've got to just kind of... - Wayne, what are you talking about? 390 00:48:00,348 --> 00:48:01,747 - What? - I mean... 391 00:48:01,849 --> 00:48:03,111 I'm talking about blood and fire. 392 00:48:03,217 --> 00:48:05,242 We're talking about trying to juggle blood and fire. 393 00:48:05,353 --> 00:48:07,048 Who are you to be giving advice to anybody anyway? 394 00:48:07,155 --> 00:48:08,713 Who am I to be giving advice to anybody? 395 00:48:08,823 --> 00:48:10,450 - Yes. - Well, it's nice to meet you. 396 00:48:10,558 --> 00:48:12,321 - My name is Mr. Happy. - Mr. Happy. 397 00:48:12,427 --> 00:48:14,657 And Mr. Happy sometimes gives advice. 398 00:48:14,762 --> 00:48:16,786 - Alex, please. - I'm sorry. 399 00:48:16,897 --> 00:48:19,491 Sometimes Mr. Happy... Well, Mr. Happy is always happy. 400 00:48:19,599 --> 00:48:21,032 But you know when he's happiest? 401 00:48:21,134 --> 00:48:22,499 - He's not always happy. - When is he happy? 402 00:48:22,602 --> 00:48:25,127 Are you really gonna say that to me? Come on, tell me about it. 403 00:48:25,238 --> 00:48:27,138 I am going to say that to you. 404 00:48:32,079 --> 00:48:34,547 - Now... - Sit down before you hurt yourself. 405 00:48:34,648 --> 00:48:37,810 One thing that you should try to keep your eye on 406 00:48:38,517 --> 00:48:41,543 is what happened in the late 1940s in Roswell. 407 00:48:55,533 --> 00:48:57,728 When a search of tax records revealed that 408 00:48:57,836 --> 00:49:00,361 Chris had given his life savings to charity, 409 00:49:00,772 --> 00:49:05,072 Mom and Dad became what Dad called "mobilized." 410 00:49:05,176 --> 00:49:09,636 They hired a private investigator and notified law enforcement nationwide, 411 00:49:09,981 --> 00:49:12,312 determined to track him down. 412 00:49:12,649 --> 00:49:17,177 I just figured he'd be with gypsies, far from the eyes of the law. 413 00:49:21,325 --> 00:49:23,657 These are those free satellite TV deals. 414 00:49:23,761 --> 00:49:26,662 You're the one who said it, Alex, not me. 415 00:49:28,932 --> 00:49:31,365 You're gonna need something. What kind of gun you got? 416 00:49:31,467 --> 00:49:35,733 I'm probably gonna get like a.22, I think. A.22 caliber rifle. 417 00:49:38,007 --> 00:49:39,406 All right, then. 418 00:49:39,909 --> 00:49:42,673 When you get your kill, time is of the essence. 419 00:49:42,779 --> 00:49:44,838 Now, the first thing you wanna do is make sure 420 00:49:44,947 --> 00:49:47,939 that you got that meat nice and shaved up. 421 00:49:48,117 --> 00:49:50,607 And you don't have a lot of time to do this. This is about an hour or two. 422 00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:54,621 Depending on the weather. Especially if it's hot, you've got less time to do it. 423 00:49:54,723 --> 00:49:58,887 What you do is you want to make sure that them flies don't land on your meat. 424 00:49:58,994 --> 00:50:02,794 Because once them flies start shitting out larvae and them maggots, 425 00:50:03,532 --> 00:50:07,558 you know, those creepy crawlies, it's too late. It's too late. 426 00:51:15,066 --> 00:51:17,432 You got me. You got me. 427 00:51:23,273 --> 00:51:25,798 I warned Wayne about them little black boxes. 428 00:51:26,009 --> 00:51:29,604 Mr. Westerberg, Scott Baker, FBI. I think you know why we're here. 429 00:51:29,713 --> 00:51:31,874 - Impressive turn-out. - Yeah. 430 00:51:31,982 --> 00:51:35,042 You mind grabbing that zipper for me there? Thank you. 431 00:51:35,819 --> 00:51:36,877 - Let's go. - Sorry, boys. 432 00:51:36,987 --> 00:51:39,216 We're gonna have to shut down for a little while. 433 00:51:39,321 --> 00:51:42,051 Alex, you come back and work for me any time you want. 434 00:51:42,158 --> 00:51:44,827 Gil's got your checks, guys. I shouldn't be away too long. 435 00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:49,795 Remember Alex, no Alaska till spring. South, kid. You wanna head south. 436 00:52:15,390 --> 00:52:17,755 The year Chris graduated high school, 437 00:52:17,858 --> 00:52:21,225 he bought the Datsun used and drove it cross-country. 438 00:52:22,596 --> 00:52:24,723 He stayed away most of the summer. 439 00:52:25,365 --> 00:52:27,833 Come on. The neighbors are gonna be watching, honey. 440 00:52:27,935 --> 00:52:29,266 Can you spray it? 441 00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:38,736 As soon as I heard he was home, I ran into his room to talk to him. 442 00:52:43,583 --> 00:52:47,144 In California, he'd looked up some old family friends. 443 00:52:47,954 --> 00:52:52,789 He discovered that our parents' stories of how they fell in love and got married 444 00:52:52,891 --> 00:52:55,724 were calculated lies masking an ugly truth. 445 00:52:56,962 --> 00:52:59,624 When they met, Dad was already married. 446 00:53:00,632 --> 00:53:02,896 And even after Chris was born, 447 00:53:03,001 --> 00:53:05,834 Dad had had another son with his first wife, Marcia, 448 00:53:07,205 --> 00:53:09,799 to whom he was still legally married. 449 00:53:11,775 --> 00:53:16,974 This fact suddenly re-defined Chris and me as bastard children. 450 00:53:21,619 --> 00:53:26,352 Dad's arrogance made him conveniently oblivious to the pain he caused. 451 00:53:28,092 --> 00:53:32,152 And Mom, in the shame and embarrassment of a young mistress, 452 00:53:32,795 --> 00:53:35,263 became his accomplice in deceit. 453 00:53:40,737 --> 00:53:44,434 The fragility of crystal is not a weakness but a fineness. 454 00:53:45,642 --> 00:53:48,769 My parents understood that a fine crystal glass had to be cared for 455 00:53:48,877 --> 00:53:51,277 or it may be shattered. 456 00:53:51,380 --> 00:53:55,612 But when it came to my brother, they did not seem to know or care 457 00:53:55,717 --> 00:53:57,947 that their course of secret action 458 00:53:58,053 --> 00:54:02,080 brought the kind of devastation that could cut them. 459 00:54:03,792 --> 00:54:08,387 Their fraudulent marriage and our father's denial of this other son 460 00:54:08,696 --> 00:54:12,860 was, for Chris, a murder of every day's truth. 461 00:54:14,001 --> 00:54:17,835 He felt his whole life turn, like a river suddenly reversing 462 00:54:17,938 --> 00:54:21,965 the direction of its flow, suddenly running uphill. 463 00:54:28,715 --> 00:54:33,311 These revelations struck at the core of Chris' sense of identity. 464 00:54:33,420 --> 00:54:37,413 They made his entire childhood seem like fiction. 465 00:54:39,592 --> 00:54:41,219 Chris never told them he knew 466 00:54:44,596 --> 00:54:47,087 and made me promise silence, as well. 467 00:54:47,933 --> 00:54:50,128 I can't afford four. Who's gonna pay for the fourth one? 468 00:54:50,235 --> 00:54:53,363 Bryan can't afford four. Does it matter? 469 00:54:54,273 --> 00:54:55,763 Can I help you? 470 00:54:55,874 --> 00:54:58,308 Yeah. If I wanted to paddle down the river, 471 00:54:58,410 --> 00:55:00,571 where's the best place to launch out of? 472 00:55:00,679 --> 00:55:01,805 Hang on a second. 473 00:55:01,913 --> 00:55:05,110 "To launch out of?" What's your experience level? 474 00:55:06,284 --> 00:55:09,549 - Not much. - Any? Do you have a permit? 475 00:55:09,654 --> 00:55:11,645 A permit? Permit for what? 476 00:55:12,223 --> 00:55:14,555 You can't paddle down the river without a permit. 477 00:55:14,659 --> 00:55:16,991 If you want, you can apply for one here, get some experience, 478 00:55:17,095 --> 00:55:18,995 and I'll put you on the wait-list. 479 00:55:19,097 --> 00:55:21,758 No, I got this guy in here. We'll figure it out. 480 00:55:21,865 --> 00:55:24,425 There's a wait-list to paddle down a river? 481 00:55:24,534 --> 00:55:25,899 That's right. 482 00:55:26,236 --> 00:55:28,466 - Yeah, it's gonna be... - Well, how long do I have to wait? 483 00:55:28,572 --> 00:55:30,039 Yeah, hang on a second. 484 00:55:30,140 --> 00:55:34,133 Now, the deal is it's gonna be me and you 485 00:55:34,244 --> 00:55:37,577 or it's gonna be me, you and her. 486 00:55:37,681 --> 00:55:42,208 Next available is May 17th, 2003. 487 00:55:43,119 --> 00:55:47,112 Great. Done. The three of us, then. 488 00:55:47,356 --> 00:55:48,789 Twelve years? 489 00:55:49,258 --> 00:55:51,192 - What's that? - Twelve years? 490 00:55:51,394 --> 00:55:52,952 To paddle down a river. 491 00:55:53,062 --> 00:55:54,859 Let me call you back. 492 00:55:55,531 --> 00:55:57,327 You can do that, 493 00:55:57,432 --> 00:56:00,526 or you can join a commercial raft trip, go with a licensed guide. 494 00:56:00,635 --> 00:56:02,398 They may have some last-minute cancellations, 495 00:56:02,504 --> 00:56:04,995 but that's gonna cost you $2,000. 496 00:56:06,808 --> 00:56:08,537 Thank you very much. 497 00:56:46,412 --> 00:56:48,004 Helmet, man! 498 00:57:27,485 --> 00:57:28,679 I'm Supertramp! 499 00:57:41,798 --> 00:57:45,131 "If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, 500 00:57:45,935 --> 00:57:48,459 "the possibility of life is destroyed." 501 00:58:19,066 --> 00:58:20,465 Hello! 502 00:58:22,970 --> 00:58:24,096 Hello. 503 00:58:24,838 --> 00:58:27,272 Come. Join us. 504 00:58:28,542 --> 00:58:30,009 We have hot dogs. 505 00:58:45,457 --> 00:58:46,947 - I'm Mads. - Mads? 506 00:58:47,059 --> 00:58:48,651 - Mads. Hi. - Mads. 507 00:58:48,761 --> 00:58:50,558 - Alex. - Hi, Alex. 508 00:58:50,663 --> 00:58:52,654 Hey. I'm Sonja. 509 00:58:53,499 --> 00:58:55,057 Hey, Alex. 510 00:58:56,502 --> 00:59:00,666 We are from Copenhagen, and you are from the rapids. 511 00:59:01,573 --> 00:59:02,665 I am. 512 00:59:09,847 --> 00:59:12,008 - You're crazy! You're crazy, man. - My God! 513 00:59:12,116 --> 00:59:15,108 Sonja, get away from him. Get away from him. He's crazy! Look, he's crazy. 514 00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:17,380 I'll make you a hot dog. One minute. 515 00:59:20,490 --> 00:59:23,653 I love this. Don't you love this? 516 00:59:23,894 --> 00:59:27,261 You know, this is nature. 517 00:59:36,406 --> 00:59:38,270 So where are you going? 518 00:59:38,941 --> 00:59:41,466 - I haven't decided yet. - Really? 519 00:59:41,577 --> 00:59:44,910 Well, we like it here very much. And it's so good to meet you, man. 520 00:59:45,014 --> 00:59:46,106 So good to meet you. 521 00:59:46,282 --> 00:59:50,241 You know, we went to Los Angeles, and then we went to Las Vegas. 522 00:59:50,353 --> 00:59:55,188 Oh, yeah. Las Vegas is very nice. The universe is so good. 523 01:00:00,128 --> 01:00:02,926 - The universe is very good. - You know what I mean? 524 01:00:03,031 --> 01:00:05,226 - Yeah. - The whole universe. 525 01:00:05,433 --> 01:00:09,699 Just the place. The city, she means. Her English is not very good. 526 01:00:09,871 --> 01:00:14,808 But then we came here. I don't care if she's a little stupid, but I like her. 527 01:00:16,010 --> 01:00:18,570 You know you can actually go all the way down to Mexico from here. 528 01:00:18,679 --> 01:00:19,668 - Yeah? - Yeah. 529 01:00:19,780 --> 01:00:24,308 You can take the kayak, and you can take it all the way around 530 01:00:24,418 --> 01:00:26,784 down to Hoover Dam, you can sail around, 531 01:00:26,887 --> 01:00:31,324 and then from there you can take the river all the way down to Mexico! 532 01:00:31,792 --> 01:00:33,453 - Really? - Yeah. 533 01:00:37,263 --> 01:00:39,197 Come on, come on! 534 01:00:39,732 --> 01:00:42,030 She's so slow sometimes. 535 01:00:43,069 --> 01:00:46,561 - Here's the map. - But I like her. 536 01:00:49,475 --> 01:00:51,340 - Here. Hoover Dam. - Okay. 537 01:00:51,611 --> 01:00:53,840 About 330 kilometers, I think. 538 01:00:53,945 --> 01:00:56,812 - Miles? - Yeah, miles, about 200 miles. 539 01:00:56,915 --> 01:01:00,942 - Two hundred miles. - Two hundred miles. Yeah, man. 540 01:01:01,486 --> 01:01:02,919 You know, I wonder if I could paddle 541 01:01:03,021 --> 01:01:05,114 all the way down that into the Gulf of California. 542 01:01:05,223 --> 01:01:08,056 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can. You know, I will go with you. 543 01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:11,050 I will go with you. We leave Sonja here, and then we take the kayak. 544 01:01:11,162 --> 01:01:13,392 No, no. We go all the way down into Mexico. 545 01:01:13,497 --> 01:01:18,230 You know, because in every man's heart, there is a Mexican mistress. 546 01:01:34,984 --> 01:01:36,679 Oh, man. 547 01:01:37,220 --> 01:01:39,518 I've gotta go, you guys. I'm really sorry. I gotta go. 548 01:01:39,622 --> 01:01:41,453 - What's going on? - Why? 549 01:01:41,558 --> 01:01:45,153 The river patrol's after me. I'm actually not supposed to be here, you know. 550 01:01:45,261 --> 01:01:46,853 You have to have, like, a permit, 551 01:01:46,963 --> 01:01:50,591 it's like a government thing to be here, and I didn't get one. 552 01:01:50,699 --> 01:01:52,564 If you see anybody, any of the rangers or anything, 553 01:01:52,668 --> 01:01:54,533 just tell them you didn't see me, okay? 554 01:01:54,636 --> 01:01:55,694 Okay. 555 01:01:55,804 --> 01:02:00,298 Okay, again, I'm really, really sorry, man. I wish I could stay, you know. 556 01:02:00,409 --> 01:02:01,398 Take care, man. 557 01:02:01,510 --> 01:02:02,534 - All right. Take care, Mads. - Nice to meet you. 558 01:02:02,644 --> 01:02:05,545 - Bye, Alex. - I wish... I wish I could stay. 559 01:02:05,646 --> 01:02:07,910 Say hello to Mexico from me. 560 01:02:10,384 --> 01:02:12,511 Bye, Alex! 561 01:02:44,850 --> 01:02:47,717 It would be Christmas in a couple of months, 562 01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:51,681 and the last news we'd had was about his car being found. 563 01:02:52,391 --> 01:02:56,725 I woke up a couple of days ago, and for the first time, it bothered me 564 01:02:56,829 --> 01:03:00,230 that it wasn't only my parents who hadn't heard from Chris. 565 01:03:00,332 --> 01:03:01,457 Honey? 566 01:03:01,566 --> 01:03:06,060 It's me. I'm sorry. Everything that happened, it's my fault. 567 01:03:07,705 --> 01:03:09,570 Give me another chance. 568 01:03:11,476 --> 01:03:14,912 Please do that... Come on. Do that for me. 569 01:03:17,982 --> 01:03:20,279 Come on. They're calling for another quarter right now, 570 01:03:20,384 --> 01:03:22,944 and I ain't got it, so will you hurry it up? 571 01:03:24,321 --> 01:03:26,380 Come on now, don't hang up on me. 572 01:03:27,324 --> 01:03:30,293 Hey, here's a quarter. 573 01:03:30,394 --> 01:03:31,691 Thank you. 574 01:03:31,962 --> 01:03:35,728 There's a quarter just happened out of the sky, 575 01:03:35,833 --> 01:03:39,199 so I'm on here talking to you again. 576 01:03:40,436 --> 01:03:43,894 I got the quarter now, let's... No, no, no, no, no! 577 01:03:48,778 --> 01:03:52,578 I wondered why he hadn't tried to call in case I might answer. 578 01:03:52,915 --> 01:03:55,406 He could've hung up if it wasn't me. 579 01:03:56,618 --> 01:04:00,213 Why wouldn't he send a letter, maybe through a friend? 580 01:04:00,322 --> 01:04:01,914 It hurt a little, 581 01:04:04,359 --> 01:04:06,953 but I told myself it was good. 582 01:04:09,097 --> 01:04:12,863 He knew I loved him enough to bear with the not knowing. 583 01:04:15,035 --> 01:04:19,335 And it helped me remember that there was something more than rebellion, 584 01:04:19,673 --> 01:04:22,233 more than anger that was driving him. 585 01:04:28,782 --> 01:04:32,513 Chris had always been driven, had always been an adventurer. 586 01:04:46,766 --> 01:04:48,597 When he was four years old, 587 01:04:48,701 --> 01:04:53,694 he once wandered six blocks away from home at 3:00 in the morning. 588 01:05:00,445 --> 01:05:02,743 He was found in a neighbor's kitchen 589 01:05:02,848 --> 01:05:06,045 up on a chair, digging through their candy drawer. 590 01:05:08,553 --> 01:05:13,387 Whatever drawer he was opening now must have something pretty sweet in it. 591 01:07:11,703 --> 01:07:15,605 - You lived in a cave for 36 days? - Yes, sir. 592 01:07:15,740 --> 01:07:17,731 And how did you get into Mexico in the first place? 593 01:07:17,842 --> 01:07:20,366 Through the spillway at Morelos Dam. 594 01:07:20,878 --> 01:07:22,869 River dries out pretty quickly beyond there, doesn't it? 595 01:07:22,980 --> 01:07:27,713 Yeah. Turns into a maze of irrigation canals, thanks to our dams up north. 596 01:07:28,185 --> 01:07:32,053 So I ported my kayak over the desert, and I hitched down to Golfo. 597 01:07:33,290 --> 01:07:37,385 But after a few weeks, a sandstorm came up and blew the kayak away. 598 01:07:37,794 --> 01:07:40,092 So I walked back north. Here I am. 599 01:07:40,196 --> 01:07:43,893 Well, you just can't be crossing the borders without any identification. 600 01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:45,865 - Are we understood? - Yes, sir. 601 01:07:45,968 --> 01:07:48,402 I've eaten enough sand to send me back to the city anyway. 602 01:07:48,504 --> 01:07:51,166 All right. Sit tight. I'll be right back. 603 01:07:52,608 --> 01:07:56,634 Some may ask, "Why act now? Why not wait?" 604 01:07:57,479 --> 01:08:01,176 The answer is clear. The world could wait no longer. 605 01:10:27,454 --> 01:10:29,115 Hi. Do you have the time? 606 01:10:29,623 --> 01:10:31,056 - Time? - Time? 607 01:10:31,158 --> 01:10:32,352 Yeah. 608 01:10:33,694 --> 01:10:35,093 Okay. 609 01:11:16,034 --> 01:11:17,365 Front and back. 610 01:11:17,502 --> 01:11:21,460 I don't have any more clipboards, so get one from the other fellas. 611 01:11:21,739 --> 01:11:23,206 - Next. - Hi. 612 01:11:23,474 --> 01:11:25,840 Can you tell me how to get an ID? 613 01:11:26,043 --> 01:11:28,773 - Did you lose your identification, sir? - Yeah. 614 01:11:28,879 --> 01:11:31,404 No birth certificate? Nothing? 615 01:11:31,682 --> 01:11:33,013 Ouch. 616 01:11:33,117 --> 01:11:36,847 All right. Well, you're gonna have to work that out with the DMV. 617 01:11:36,953 --> 01:11:41,219 You can catch them in the morning. The closest one is Montebello, 618 01:11:42,258 --> 01:11:44,249 and we can help you with the bus voucher. 619 01:11:44,360 --> 01:11:46,419 So just come to this desk when you're ready for the voucher. 620 01:11:46,529 --> 01:11:48,121 - Okay. - What's your name? 621 01:11:48,231 --> 01:11:51,860 - Alexander Supertramp. - What's that? 622 01:11:51,968 --> 01:11:57,837 - Alexander Supertramp. - Supertramp. Really? 623 01:11:58,106 --> 01:11:59,073 Yeah. 624 01:12:00,242 --> 01:12:03,939 Okay, so I'm gonna look for you, Supertramp. I got something for you. 625 01:12:06,481 --> 01:12:08,881 - Here you go, Supertramp. - Thank you very much. 626 01:12:08,984 --> 01:12:10,246 Okay, baby. 627 01:12:10,352 --> 01:12:13,378 - And one last thing. - Yeah. 628 01:12:15,323 --> 01:12:17,723 Do you have a bed for me? I'm sorry... 629 01:12:17,825 --> 01:12:21,625 Oh, no. Sure, I got a bed for you. Sign your name right here. 630 01:12:21,729 --> 01:12:26,894 You fill this out. And I'll set you right up. Now, I'm out of... 631 01:12:27,001 --> 01:12:29,834 - What's going on back there? - I got it. I'm sorry. 632 01:12:29,937 --> 01:12:33,303 - Come on, now. Work with me. - All right. Thanks, ma'am. 633 01:12:33,406 --> 01:12:35,670 Supertramp, huh? 634 01:12:38,645 --> 01:12:40,545 You know the drill. 635 01:13:13,811 --> 01:13:15,301 Move it! 636 01:14:02,925 --> 01:14:05,552 Thanks, but I'm not gonna need that bed after all. 637 01:14:05,660 --> 01:14:07,821 You leaving us so soon? Supertramp! 638 01:15:11,556 --> 01:15:15,856 Show me your face. I never, ever, ever forget a face. 639 01:15:16,294 --> 01:15:19,262 If I see yours again, I won't arrest you, I'll kill you. 640 01:15:19,362 --> 01:15:21,227 This is the goddamned railroad, 641 01:15:21,331 --> 01:15:22,958 and we will do whatever we have to do 642 01:15:23,066 --> 01:15:25,466 to keep you freeloaders from violating our liability. 643 01:15:25,569 --> 01:15:26,797 Yes, sir. 644 01:15:30,574 --> 01:15:32,166 You got any ID? 645 01:15:33,543 --> 01:15:36,739 - No, sir. - Of course you don't. 646 01:15:37,646 --> 01:15:39,409 Last time, my friend. 647 01:15:40,549 --> 01:15:41,846 All clear. 648 01:15:49,892 --> 01:15:51,257 Good boy! 649 01:16:09,344 --> 01:16:12,472 Yeah! That's what I'm talking about. Finally! 650 01:16:15,649 --> 01:16:18,777 It's a mystery to me 651 01:16:19,653 --> 01:16:24,989 We have a greed With which we have agreed 652 01:16:26,460 --> 01:16:31,261 You think you have to want more than you need 653 01:16:32,498 --> 01:16:37,162 Until you have it all you won't be freed 654 01:16:40,106 --> 01:16:45,510 Society, you're a crazy breed 655 01:16:46,078 --> 01:16:52,016 I hope you're not lonely without me 656 01:16:55,487 --> 01:17:00,481 When you want more than you have You think you need 657 01:17:01,426 --> 01:17:06,420 And when you think more than you want Your thoughts begin to bleed 658 01:17:07,866 --> 01:17:12,325 I think I need to find a bigger place 659 01:17:13,370 --> 01:17:15,838 'Cause when you have more than you think 660 01:17:15,940 --> 01:17:18,170 You need more space 661 01:17:21,578 --> 01:17:26,947 Society, you're a crazy breed 662 01:17:27,483 --> 01:17:32,420 I hope you're not lonely without me 663 01:17:33,456 --> 01:17:38,359 Society, crazy indeed 664 01:17:39,162 --> 01:17:45,464 I hope you're not lonely without me 665 01:18:35,048 --> 01:18:36,481 Thanks a lot. 666 01:18:45,758 --> 01:18:48,659 In the letters Chris wrote me from college, 667 01:18:49,228 --> 01:18:53,426 it was clear his anguish and problems with Mom and Dad had continued. 668 01:19:02,907 --> 01:19:04,772 He said I was the only person in the world 669 01:19:04,876 --> 01:19:07,504 who could possibly understand what he had to say. 670 01:19:07,612 --> 01:19:10,581 With whose money are you buying all these goddamn presents? 671 01:19:10,681 --> 01:19:13,081 I work. The only reason I'm not talking is because 672 01:19:13,184 --> 01:19:15,846 you're wandering around acting like the big-shot flirt with everybody. 673 01:19:15,953 --> 01:19:19,479 I am making the contacts for this business to work! 674 01:19:19,656 --> 01:19:21,590 You don't care at all about what I do! 675 01:19:21,691 --> 01:19:23,522 I don't even want to talk to you about it anymore! 676 01:19:23,627 --> 01:19:26,653 Don't you walk away from me, woman! Woman! 677 01:19:27,330 --> 01:19:29,662 Kids! Look what your dad is doing to me! 678 01:19:29,866 --> 01:19:33,199 For God's sake, look what your mother is making me do! 679 01:19:33,303 --> 01:19:35,271 Fuck you! I hate you! 680 01:19:37,673 --> 01:19:40,801 There ain't gonna be no party. I'm gonna cancel Christmas this year. 681 01:19:40,943 --> 01:19:44,208 Cancel Christmas? Who do you think you are? God? 682 01:19:44,313 --> 01:19:46,076 That's right! I'm God! 683 01:19:46,215 --> 01:19:49,013 Well, you're not God. You can't cancel Christmas. 684 01:19:49,285 --> 01:19:50,616 That's bullshit! 685 01:21:46,728 --> 01:21:48,218 We're 10 deep! 686 01:21:56,138 --> 01:22:00,905 Alex, I don't mean to be on you about everything. You're doing a great job. 687 01:22:01,143 --> 01:22:04,805 I wanna keep you on and we all wanna help you get to Alaska, 688 01:22:05,513 --> 01:22:08,107 but you've got to start wearing socks. 689 01:22:16,057 --> 01:22:19,754 With almost a year having passed since Chris' disappearance, 690 01:22:20,328 --> 01:22:23,694 my parents' anger, their desperation, 691 01:22:23,797 --> 01:22:26,061 their guilt was giving way to pain. 692 01:22:29,102 --> 01:22:31,696 And pain seemed to bring them closer. 693 01:22:34,074 --> 01:22:36,235 Even their faces had changed. 694 01:23:02,467 --> 01:23:04,901 She convinces herself it's Chris, 695 01:23:06,304 --> 01:23:09,637 that it's her son whenever she passes a stray. 696 01:23:11,442 --> 01:23:13,808 And I fear for the mother in her. 697 01:23:17,514 --> 01:23:22,474 Instincts that seem to sense the threat of a loss so huge 698 01:23:22,586 --> 01:23:27,250 and irrevocable that the mind balks at taking its measure. 699 01:23:29,493 --> 01:23:34,055 I'd begin to wonder if I can understand all that Chris is saying any longer, 700 01:23:37,266 --> 01:23:40,201 but I catch myself and remember that 701 01:23:40,303 --> 01:23:42,669 these are not the parents he grew up with, 702 01:23:43,973 --> 01:23:48,569 but people softened by the forced reflection that comes with loss. 703 01:23:53,215 --> 01:23:58,242 Still, everything Chris is saying has to be said. 704 01:24:00,021 --> 01:24:03,889 And I trust for him that everything he is doing has to be done. 705 01:24:05,694 --> 01:24:07,286 This is our life. 706 01:25:15,025 --> 01:25:18,620 Big game. Very big game. 707 01:25:19,096 --> 01:25:20,256 Got it. 708 01:27:11,236 --> 01:27:12,567 Damn it! 709 01:27:16,940 --> 01:27:18,237 Get off! 710 01:28:01,182 --> 01:28:04,583 "Hey, Dad, can I light the barbeque, please, Dad, this time?" 711 01:28:05,220 --> 01:28:06,687 "Well, Son, you can go get the lighter fluid." 712 01:28:06,788 --> 01:28:09,222 "Come on, Dad. Please, Dad, please?" 713 01:28:09,958 --> 01:28:12,517 "Well, why not, Walt? That sounds like a good idea..." 714 01:28:12,626 --> 01:28:14,491 "Shut up, Carine! Shut up, Carine! 715 01:28:14,595 --> 01:28:19,055 "No, Billie. I told you once. Don't make me tell you again. Okay? 716 01:28:19,433 --> 01:28:21,060 "Okay? 717 01:28:21,368 --> 01:28:23,029 "You hear me? You hear me, woman? 718 01:28:23,137 --> 01:28:26,072 "You hear me, woman? Huh? You hear me, woman?" 719 01:28:28,475 --> 01:28:33,844 "Sorry. Sorry, Walt. I'm sorry." 720 01:28:47,093 --> 01:28:48,253 Shit. 721 01:28:54,366 --> 01:28:58,627 No! No! Damn it! 722 01:29:01,974 --> 01:29:04,636 God damn it! Fuck! 723 01:29:48,017 --> 01:29:53,080 "There was clearly felt the presence of a force not bound to be kind to man. 724 01:29:54,390 --> 01:29:57,882 "It was a place of heathenism and superstitious rites, 725 01:29:59,261 --> 01:30:02,627 "to be inhabited by men nearer of kin to the rocks 726 01:30:02,897 --> 01:30:05,388 "and to the wild animals than we." 727 01:30:28,088 --> 01:30:29,282 Sunni. 728 01:30:29,823 --> 01:30:32,815 Hey, Sunni! Come here, baby. 729 01:30:38,398 --> 01:30:40,991 No. No! 730 01:31:14,666 --> 01:31:17,964 But now all I'm focused on is just Alaska. 731 01:31:18,068 --> 01:31:19,626 - Yeah. - Alaska. 732 01:31:21,605 --> 01:31:24,597 All right. Let's hear it for Insane Cain! 733 01:31:28,078 --> 01:31:31,177 Let's give it up for Slab City's own Tracy T! 734 01:31:39,922 --> 01:31:41,822 Hey. My name's Tracy. 735 01:31:41,924 --> 01:31:43,687 - Tracy! - Yeah! 736 01:32:13,788 --> 01:32:16,382 Jack London is king. 737 01:32:17,558 --> 01:32:19,651 Hey, you gonna stay with us long? 738 01:32:20,461 --> 01:32:22,622 Well, I'm waiting on a check from my last job 739 01:32:22,730 --> 01:32:25,062 to come into Salton City the day after Christmas. 740 01:32:25,166 --> 01:32:27,964 I've got to start thinking about getting ready for Alaska. 741 01:32:28,068 --> 01:32:32,595 When the sun gets a little lower tonight, I'm going to start a calisthenics routine. 742 01:32:32,972 --> 01:32:35,702 After the check comes in, I think I'm gonna try to find 743 01:32:35,809 --> 01:32:39,108 some big old mountains I can climb every day until spring comes. 744 01:32:39,212 --> 01:32:41,339 I've got to see how far the money's gonna go. 745 01:32:41,447 --> 01:32:44,974 I've still got a lot of supplies to pick up before spring. 746 01:32:45,885 --> 01:32:50,378 So, I might get another job or I might be okay. 747 01:32:50,956 --> 01:32:55,120 Hell, we'd give you a little something for the days you spend in the booth here. 748 01:32:55,227 --> 01:32:57,661 I'm not taking any money from you, Rainey. 749 01:32:58,163 --> 01:33:01,064 It's been a real great twist meeting you two. 750 01:33:01,166 --> 01:33:03,327 You two look like you're doing good. 751 01:33:03,669 --> 01:33:05,637 - We are doing good. - Yeah? 752 01:33:05,737 --> 01:33:06,896 We're doing real good. 753 01:33:07,638 --> 01:33:10,607 Speaking of which, don't you think 754 01:33:10,708 --> 01:33:15,008 you ought to introduce yourself to our little Joni Mitchell over there? 755 01:33:19,483 --> 01:33:20,450 I... 756 01:33:55,284 --> 01:33:57,809 - Hi. - Hi. 757 01:34:03,491 --> 01:34:05,425 You selling these books? 758 01:34:05,727 --> 01:34:08,525 I am. We are. 759 01:34:09,831 --> 01:34:11,128 He was. 760 01:34:14,903 --> 01:34:16,393 I like to read. 761 01:34:17,272 --> 01:34:19,763 - Do you? - Yeah. 762 01:34:20,474 --> 01:34:22,237 That's good. 763 01:34:23,477 --> 01:34:27,140 I heard you play your song last night. 764 01:34:28,382 --> 01:34:33,081 - I'm terrible. - You are not terrible. You sing sweet. 765 01:34:33,954 --> 01:34:35,251 Thank you. 766 01:34:38,691 --> 01:34:41,819 I was gonna go take a walk to Salvation Mountain. 767 01:34:42,528 --> 01:34:45,258 - You wanna go? - Okay. 768 01:34:53,739 --> 01:34:56,105 - Hi. - Hi. Alex. 769 01:34:56,943 --> 01:35:02,676 I'd like to show you around up here. I've been here since 1984, more or less. 770 01:35:05,483 --> 01:35:07,212 A lot of tourists come in here 771 01:35:07,319 --> 01:35:11,085 and they look at that car door up there. They really like it. 772 01:35:11,990 --> 01:35:15,982 And I found car doors and put them up there and I bolted it all in. 773 01:35:16,093 --> 01:35:17,560 Where did you get the telephone poles? 774 01:35:17,661 --> 01:35:20,494 A lot of people in the valley just love me a lot. 775 01:35:20,631 --> 01:35:23,156 Everybody now, I think, in the whole world is just loving me. 776 01:35:23,267 --> 01:35:26,464 And I want to have the wisdom to love them back. 777 01:35:27,538 --> 01:35:30,132 And that's about it. So I really get excited. 778 01:35:30,240 --> 01:35:31,901 You really believe in love, then. 779 01:35:32,009 --> 01:35:34,340 Yeah. Totally. 780 01:35:35,044 --> 01:35:39,913 This is a love story that is staggering to everybody in the whole world. 781 01:35:40,016 --> 01:35:42,849 That God really loves us a lot. 782 01:35:43,920 --> 01:35:45,387 Does that answer that? 783 01:35:45,488 --> 01:35:47,080 - Yeah. - Good. 784 01:35:49,092 --> 01:35:53,323 I really love it here. I think the freedom of this place is just so beautiful. 785 01:35:53,428 --> 01:35:57,330 To me, I wouldn't move for $10 million, unless I had to. 786 01:35:59,167 --> 01:36:02,830 So I'm contented here in the desert, and I'm living where I want to live. 787 01:36:03,105 --> 01:36:08,600 And I think good gets better. And I think those great big tanks there 788 01:36:08,710 --> 01:36:12,304 were the sewer plant for the Marine base in World War II. 789 01:36:14,949 --> 01:36:17,611 If you want to, you can try putting your hands in there. 790 01:36:17,718 --> 01:36:20,881 And I'm gonna do the same thing, just for the fun. 791 01:36:21,589 --> 01:36:23,454 You're doing real good. 792 01:36:26,894 --> 01:36:30,226 You can wipe your hands off on my shirt if you want. 793 01:36:50,582 --> 01:36:53,073 This is starting to make me hungry. 794 01:36:53,886 --> 01:36:57,913 I was just a couple of years older than Tracy when I got pregnant. 795 01:37:01,794 --> 01:37:03,352 - Wow. - Yeah. 796 01:37:05,197 --> 01:37:09,292 Yeah, I thought my husband and I were going to just make peace on Earth 797 01:37:10,101 --> 01:37:12,865 and babies and love and stay together forever, 798 01:37:15,440 --> 01:37:18,273 and that didn't quite work out that way. 799 01:37:18,376 --> 01:37:20,936 He left me. 800 01:37:25,148 --> 01:37:26,809 So, I... 801 01:37:28,819 --> 01:37:29,808 Anyway, whatever, 802 01:37:29,920 --> 01:37:34,914 but I ended up raising Reno on my own. That's my boy, his name's Reno. 803 01:37:36,593 --> 01:37:38,254 Then I met Rainey. 804 01:37:39,463 --> 01:37:42,489 That was sweet. It was really good for a while. It's just... 805 01:37:47,570 --> 01:37:52,166 You know, Reno was a teenager already by then, 806 01:37:52,308 --> 01:37:55,471 and he was just on his way to becoming his own man. 807 01:38:00,116 --> 01:38:05,576 And I haven't even heard from him in two years. 808 01:38:09,357 --> 01:38:11,552 I don't even know where he is. 809 01:38:12,127 --> 01:38:14,527 I hope I get to meet him sometime. 810 01:38:16,965 --> 01:38:19,331 Do your folks know where you are? 811 01:38:24,271 --> 01:38:27,331 Hey, guys? Dinner's ready if you guys are hungry. 812 01:38:27,441 --> 01:38:31,172 Yeah, we are. We're hungry. 813 01:38:34,748 --> 01:38:36,340 I'll be all right. 814 01:38:47,193 --> 01:38:48,888 You want to come and eat? 815 01:38:49,495 --> 01:38:52,896 Or we'll sit here. Because I will sit here with you all night. 816 01:38:58,170 --> 01:38:59,660 Let's go. Let's go. 817 01:39:02,340 --> 01:39:04,399 Guys, come on. It's getting cold. 818 01:39:08,079 --> 01:39:13,176 Check this out. Tawdry? Denise, that sounds like your cup of tea. 819 01:39:43,012 --> 01:39:46,971 That poor girl is about ready to vault herself onto a fence post. 820 01:39:47,850 --> 01:39:52,149 And here you are, the monk of Jack fucking LaLanne. 821 01:39:59,061 --> 01:40:03,061 - So Jan talked to you about Reno, huh? - Yeah. 822 01:40:06,101 --> 01:40:09,798 Children can be pretty harsh when it comes to their parents. 823 01:40:10,371 --> 01:40:12,532 You planning on seeing yours? 824 01:40:14,842 --> 01:40:17,140 I've only got one plan, Rainey. 825 01:40:18,246 --> 01:40:20,874 That would be Alaska? 826 01:40:21,115 --> 01:40:22,514 Alaska. 827 01:40:34,060 --> 01:40:35,186 Hello? 828 01:40:36,896 --> 01:40:39,888 - Merry Christmas. - Come in here. 829 01:40:49,074 --> 01:40:51,099 My parents went into town. 830 01:40:52,811 --> 01:40:53,800 No. 831 01:40:54,146 --> 01:40:57,274 Yeah. They went to call my grandma for Christmas. 832 01:40:58,017 --> 01:41:00,110 No, I mean we can't do that. 833 01:41:01,387 --> 01:41:02,581 Why not? 834 01:41:09,827 --> 01:41:11,385 How old are you? 835 01:41:12,363 --> 01:41:13,591 Eighteen. 836 01:41:16,734 --> 01:41:18,201 Seventeen. 837 01:41:20,071 --> 01:41:22,005 What year were you born? 838 01:41:28,879 --> 01:41:30,471 So I'm 16. 839 01:41:44,627 --> 01:41:47,027 You want to do something together? 840 01:43:01,032 --> 01:43:05,662 You can send mail to this address in South Dakota. 841 01:43:07,339 --> 01:43:11,673 I don't know when I'm going to get it, but I'll get it. 842 01:43:16,013 --> 01:43:17,742 You're pretty magic. 843 01:43:17,882 --> 01:43:20,510 - Yeah? - Yeah. 844 01:43:22,486 --> 01:43:24,113 And just remember 845 01:43:24,522 --> 01:43:28,982 if you want something in life, reach out and grab it. 846 01:43:50,346 --> 01:43:52,336 - You take care, kiddo. - You, too. 847 01:43:54,683 --> 01:43:57,709 - New Year's resolution? - We'll work on it. 848 01:45:05,583 --> 01:45:08,347 Just get your pack and get on out of here, okay? 849 01:45:09,521 --> 01:45:11,887 I don't think I could take a hug. 850 01:45:26,603 --> 01:45:27,570 Hey. 851 01:45:40,183 --> 01:45:41,207 Bye! 852 01:45:56,098 --> 01:46:00,659 A year and a half had passed in what Dad called "suspended animation." 853 01:46:08,276 --> 01:46:14,146 The weight of Chris' disappearance had begun to lay down on me full-length. 854 01:46:25,526 --> 01:46:27,721 "I have lived through much, 855 01:46:28,829 --> 01:46:32,526 "and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. 856 01:46:36,370 --> 01:46:39,065 "A quiet secluded life in the country, 857 01:46:40,974 --> 01:46:45,707 "with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, 858 01:46:47,513 --> 01:46:50,949 "and who are not accustomed to have it done to them. 859 01:46:52,819 --> 01:46:55,912 "And work which one hopes may be of some use. 860 01:46:57,589 --> 01:47:01,889 "Then rest, nature, books, music, 861 01:47:02,628 --> 01:47:04,619 "love for one's neighbor. 862 01:47:08,600 --> 01:47:11,034 "Such is my idea of happiness. 863 01:47:13,972 --> 01:47:20,535 "And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, 864 01:47:21,746 --> 01:47:23,680 "and children perhaps. 865 01:47:25,583 --> 01:47:28,381 "What more can the heart of a man desire?" 866 01:47:36,726 --> 01:47:41,129 Comes the morning when I can feel 867 01:47:41,231 --> 01:47:45,565 That there's nothing left to be concealed 868 01:47:45,669 --> 01:47:50,106 Moving on a scene surreal 869 01:47:50,206 --> 01:47:56,269 But my heart will never Never be far from here 870 01:47:56,378 --> 01:48:00,678 Sure as I'm breathing Sure as I'm sad 871 01:48:00,783 --> 01:48:05,327 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 872 01:48:05,354 --> 01:48:09,983 I leave here believing More than I had 873 01:48:10,091 --> 01:48:13,720 And there's a reason I will 874 01:48:13,828 --> 01:48:17,992 A reason I'll be back 875 01:48:21,636 --> 01:48:26,005 As I walk the hemisphere 876 01:48:26,107 --> 01:48:30,440 I got my wish to up and disappear 877 01:48:30,544 --> 01:48:34,878 I've been wounded I've been healed 878 01:48:34,981 --> 01:48:38,075 Now for landing I've been 879 01:48:38,185 --> 01:48:41,086 Landing I've been cleared 880 01:48:41,188 --> 01:48:45,716 Sure as I'm breathing Sure as I'm sad 881 01:48:45,826 --> 01:48:50,159 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 882 01:48:50,262 --> 01:48:54,699 I leave here believing More than I had 883 01:48:54,800 --> 01:48:58,793 This love has got no ceiling 884 01:52:06,515 --> 01:52:08,142 Where's your camp? 885 01:52:08,983 --> 01:52:11,474 Just out past Oh-My-God Hot Springs. 886 01:52:12,320 --> 01:52:15,380 I've lived in and around here for six years now 887 01:52:15,957 --> 01:52:18,016 and I've never heard of any place that goes by that name. 888 01:52:18,126 --> 01:52:21,061 - Show me how to get there. - Yeah. 889 01:52:24,732 --> 01:52:27,326 - Ron Franz. - Alex. 890 01:52:27,501 --> 01:52:29,298 Alex? Where you from, Alex? 891 01:52:30,237 --> 01:52:34,196 - West Virginia. - Okay, Alex from West Virginia. 892 01:53:19,284 --> 01:53:23,982 Well, this is something out here. 893 01:53:28,926 --> 01:53:30,120 Don't you... 894 01:53:31,161 --> 01:53:35,860 Don't you worry about those dope smokers and nudists down below there? 895 01:53:35,966 --> 01:53:39,766 No, they keep to themselves pretty much. 896 01:53:39,870 --> 01:53:43,134 You strike me as a bright young man. Am I wrong about that? 897 01:53:44,407 --> 01:53:46,807 I think I've got my head on my shoulders pretty good. 898 01:53:46,909 --> 01:53:48,604 Well, that's what I mean. 899 01:53:53,316 --> 01:53:55,375 How long you been out here? 900 01:53:57,020 --> 01:54:00,216 - Couple of weeks. - And before that? 901 01:54:00,722 --> 01:54:03,850 A lot of places. Been moving around a lot. 902 01:54:05,027 --> 01:54:08,190 - Well, how old are you? - Twenty-three. 903 01:54:09,164 --> 01:54:10,392 Twenty-three years old! 904 01:54:10,499 --> 01:54:13,491 Son, don't you think you ought to be getting an education? 905 01:54:13,602 --> 01:54:16,537 And a job? And making something of this life? 906 01:54:19,807 --> 01:54:21,365 Look, Mr. Franz, 907 01:54:22,576 --> 01:54:26,444 I think careers are a 20th century invention, and I don't want one. 908 01:54:27,448 --> 01:54:31,214 You don't need to worry about me. I have a college education. 909 01:54:31,519 --> 01:54:35,649 I'm not destitute. I'm living like this by choice. 910 01:54:37,357 --> 01:54:41,691 - In the dirt? - Yeah, in the dirt. 911 01:54:46,032 --> 01:54:49,695 - Where's your family? - Don't have one anymore. 912 01:54:53,073 --> 01:54:54,563 That's a shame. 913 01:54:57,910 --> 01:55:00,606 Hey, Mr. Franz, I want to show you something. 914 01:55:01,380 --> 01:55:02,574 Come on. 915 01:55:05,384 --> 01:55:06,578 Come on. 916 01:55:32,242 --> 01:55:37,612 It's getting a little steep. A little high for me, kid. 917 01:55:39,116 --> 01:55:40,606 All right, 918 01:55:41,918 --> 01:55:45,183 but even from halfway out, it's quite a sight, isn't it? 919 01:55:47,257 --> 01:55:52,057 From the top, you can see all the way to the Salton Sea, too. 920 01:55:52,761 --> 01:55:55,161 You can see the Salton Sea from up there? 921 01:55:55,498 --> 01:55:56,726 Yes, sir. 922 01:55:57,566 --> 01:55:58,931 My goodness. 923 01:56:00,035 --> 01:56:04,836 - You don't want to go up? - Nope. I don't do these kind of things. 924 01:56:08,510 --> 01:56:10,876 I spent most of my life in the Army. 925 01:56:13,748 --> 01:56:18,447 New Year's Eve, 1957, I was stationed in Okinawa. 926 01:56:19,988 --> 01:56:23,981 My wife and son were here in the States just driving down the road, 927 01:56:24,092 --> 01:56:27,583 and some fella who'd had too much to drink plowed right into them. 928 01:56:28,162 --> 01:56:30,153 Killed them both. 929 01:56:34,568 --> 01:56:39,665 Now you might think the last thing I would do in the world 930 01:56:42,543 --> 01:56:44,272 is go to the whiskey. 931 01:56:46,045 --> 01:56:50,209 But at the time, it felt like the only thing I could do. 932 01:56:50,316 --> 01:56:52,910 And I did it hard! 933 01:56:55,955 --> 01:56:58,423 But pretty soon I realized 934 01:56:59,192 --> 01:57:03,424 I wasn't doing my wife and son any good mourning them with the bottle. 935 01:57:03,828 --> 01:57:07,855 So I pulled myself together and I quit drinking, 936 01:57:08,533 --> 01:57:09,898 cold turkey. 937 01:57:11,203 --> 01:57:15,572 So since all that, this is pretty much me. 938 01:57:16,908 --> 01:57:19,103 Do you ever travel, Mr. Franz? 939 01:57:20,178 --> 01:57:23,237 No, I can't seem to get too far from my leather. 940 01:57:24,982 --> 01:57:29,510 I do a lot of leather engraving. I got a little workshop out in the garage. 941 01:57:29,887 --> 01:57:32,082 Between that and my pension, I do pretty well. 942 01:57:32,189 --> 01:57:34,714 But every time I think I might take a trip somewhere, 943 01:57:34,825 --> 01:57:38,420 I get too far behind on orders and such to consider it. 944 01:57:39,330 --> 01:57:41,991 When we finish eating, I'd love to see your workshop. 945 01:57:42,098 --> 01:57:43,497 - Would you? - Oh, yeah. 946 01:57:43,600 --> 01:57:45,363 I was hoping you'd say that. 947 01:57:45,468 --> 01:57:48,403 - It's amazing how malleable this is. - Yeah, it is. 948 01:57:48,504 --> 01:57:50,199 When the leather is wet you can really... 949 01:57:50,306 --> 01:57:51,603 - It's like butter. - Yeah. 950 01:57:51,708 --> 01:57:55,200 It's amazing. And then it hardens up, and, I mean, it stays right there. 951 01:58:40,320 --> 01:58:45,917 A good whack with the mallet. Crack it down. Whack. Bang. 952 01:59:46,316 --> 01:59:49,978 I went to South Dakota. I worked at a grain elevator 953 01:59:50,086 --> 01:59:52,577 for this guy named Wayne. He was a really good guy. 954 01:59:52,688 --> 01:59:54,280 So I took the Colorado River 955 01:59:54,390 --> 01:59:57,655 all the way down through the Grand Canyon and did rapids, 956 01:59:57,760 --> 02:00:01,355 which is by far one of the scariest things I've ever done. 957 02:00:01,497 --> 02:00:06,833 And I took the Colorado down into Mexico, Golfo, where I got stuck. 958 02:00:07,770 --> 02:00:10,067 Salvation Mountain. The Slabs. 959 02:00:11,806 --> 02:00:13,899 What's the "N" stand for? 960 02:00:15,543 --> 02:00:16,669 North. 961 02:00:18,012 --> 02:00:19,639 Alaska? 962 02:00:22,684 --> 02:00:25,152 Son, what the hell are you running from? 963 02:00:26,321 --> 02:00:28,754 You know, I can ask you the same question! 964 02:00:29,823 --> 02:00:32,189 Except I already know the answer! 965 02:00:33,060 --> 02:00:34,550 You do, do you? 966 02:00:35,329 --> 02:00:39,527 I do, Mr. Franz! You got to get back out in the world! 967 02:00:40,367 --> 02:00:43,564 Get out of that Ionely house, that little workshop of yours. 968 02:00:43,670 --> 02:00:47,662 Get back out on the road! Really! 969 02:00:48,608 --> 02:00:51,202 You're going to live a long time, Ron! 970 02:00:51,310 --> 02:00:54,541 You should make a radical change in your lifestyle! 971 02:00:55,248 --> 02:00:59,150 I mean, the core of man's spirit comes from new experiences. 972 02:00:59,719 --> 02:01:03,882 And there you are, stubborn old man, sitting on your butt. 973 02:01:05,056 --> 02:01:07,854 - Sitting on my butt? - Yeah. 974 02:01:09,461 --> 02:01:13,830 I'll show you sitting on my butt! 975 02:01:13,965 --> 02:01:15,956 "Stubborn old man." 976 02:01:17,469 --> 02:01:19,061 I'll show you! 977 02:01:19,604 --> 02:01:21,798 Come on, then! Come on. 978 02:01:24,775 --> 02:01:27,869 Sitting on my butt? Yeah. 979 02:01:30,014 --> 02:01:32,141 Come on, old man. Come climbing. 980 02:01:32,249 --> 02:01:33,944 Sitting on my butt. 981 02:01:34,318 --> 02:01:35,785 Come on. Keep going! 982 02:01:39,657 --> 02:01:41,351 You're doing great! 983 02:01:46,196 --> 02:01:48,790 - Keep going. Keep going, Ron! - Yeah! 984 02:01:50,600 --> 02:01:54,331 Can anybody see this? God, are you watching this right now? 985 02:02:02,544 --> 02:02:03,602 Yeah. 986 02:02:06,715 --> 02:02:10,981 - You all right? - You little pinhead! 987 02:02:28,569 --> 02:02:30,833 I'm gonna miss you when you go. 988 02:02:32,507 --> 02:02:36,169 I'll miss you, too, Ron. But you're wrong if you think 989 02:02:36,276 --> 02:02:40,212 that the joy of life comes principally from human relationships. 990 02:02:41,248 --> 02:02:43,546 God's placed it all around us. It's in everything. 991 02:02:43,650 --> 02:02:45,982 It's in anything we can experience. 992 02:02:46,887 --> 02:02:50,379 People just need to change the way they look at those things. 993 02:02:50,490 --> 02:02:52,651 Yeah, I'm gonna take stock of that. 994 02:02:54,593 --> 02:02:55,821 No, I am. 995 02:03:00,065 --> 02:03:01,127 I am. 996 02:03:03,536 --> 02:03:05,697 But I wanted to tell you something. 997 02:03:09,508 --> 02:03:12,204 From the bits and pieces I put together, 998 02:03:12,343 --> 02:03:16,370 you know, from what you told me about your family, your mother and your dad. 999 02:03:18,416 --> 02:03:21,749 And I know you've got your problems with the church, too. 1000 02:03:23,688 --> 02:03:27,385 But there's some kind of bigger thing we can all appreciate, 1001 02:03:28,459 --> 02:03:31,621 and it sounds like you don't mind calling it God. 1002 02:03:37,734 --> 02:03:40,635 But when you forgive, 1003 02:03:42,906 --> 02:03:44,134 you love. 1004 02:03:47,911 --> 02:03:50,936 And when you love, 1005 02:03:51,781 --> 02:03:54,341 God's light shines on you. 1006 02:03:59,088 --> 02:04:02,751 - Holy shit. - I told you about that language. 1007 02:04:12,968 --> 02:04:14,458 I told you so! 1008 02:04:17,372 --> 02:04:20,864 Where are the fucking animals now? I'm hungry! 1009 02:04:21,042 --> 02:04:25,206 I'm fucking hungry! I'm fucking hungry! 1010 02:04:42,296 --> 02:04:46,026 "For a moment she rediscovered the purpose of her life. 1011 02:04:46,933 --> 02:04:50,630 "She was here on earth to grasp the meaning of its wild enchantment, 1012 02:04:50,737 --> 02:04:53,535 "and to call each thing by its right name." 1013 02:04:56,876 --> 02:04:58,503 "By its right name." 1014 02:04:59,312 --> 02:05:01,610 What is this? What is this one? 1015 02:05:04,716 --> 02:05:09,619 This is Viburnum edule. Viburnum edule. 1016 02:05:14,493 --> 02:05:17,462 Hedysarum alpinum. 1017 02:05:19,598 --> 02:05:24,261 Hedysarum alpinum is wild potato root. Wild potato root. 1018 02:05:26,570 --> 02:05:30,165 Epilobium angustifolium. Fireweed. 1019 02:08:25,606 --> 02:08:28,473 Fuck it all. Fuck it all! 1020 02:11:06,926 --> 02:11:07,915 Hi. 1021 02:11:08,027 --> 02:11:11,155 What are you doing up? It's 3:30 in the morning. 1022 02:11:11,563 --> 02:11:14,726 I heard you get off the couch about a half hour ago. 1023 02:11:16,034 --> 02:11:19,731 Had a funny feeling you might not be here for our breakfast. 1024 02:11:23,975 --> 02:11:28,844 I'm gonna drive you 100 miles to someplace where you can catch a train, 1025 02:11:29,647 --> 02:11:34,310 a plane or hitch a ride and not get stuck out in this desert. 1026 02:11:35,586 --> 02:11:39,522 I'd take you all the way to Alaska if I didn't have an 8:00 mass. 1027 02:11:39,923 --> 02:11:43,290 - Ron, you don't have to do that. - I want to do it. 1028 02:11:44,194 --> 02:11:47,163 Get you started on this thing of yours. 1029 02:11:47,664 --> 02:11:49,654 - On my great... - I know. 1030 02:11:50,366 --> 02:11:52,857 On your great Alaskan adventure. 1031 02:11:53,703 --> 02:11:56,399 Here. Here's a machete. 1032 02:11:58,775 --> 02:12:03,542 Collapsible fishing pole, a few other odds and ends I stuck in there for you. 1033 02:12:07,049 --> 02:12:09,449 - Ron... - Just take it. 1034 02:12:10,852 --> 02:12:13,650 I'll get dressed and meet you in the truck. 1035 02:13:10,042 --> 02:13:11,634 Well, my friend. 1036 02:13:14,146 --> 02:13:15,170 Yep. 1037 02:13:19,618 --> 02:13:22,085 I had an idea. 1038 02:13:23,221 --> 02:13:27,851 You know, my mother was an only child 1039 02:13:28,793 --> 02:13:30,556 and so was my father, 1040 02:13:31,229 --> 02:13:35,495 and I was their only child, 1041 02:13:38,902 --> 02:13:41,564 so when I'm gone, I'm the end of the line. 1042 02:13:42,672 --> 02:13:44,731 My family will be finished. 1043 02:13:48,445 --> 02:13:53,747 What do you say you let me adopt you? 1044 02:13:58,153 --> 02:14:02,214 I can be, say, your grandfather. 1045 02:14:06,662 --> 02:14:08,220 Ron, 1046 02:14:09,865 --> 02:14:13,631 could we talk about this when I get back from Alaska? 1047 02:14:14,036 --> 02:14:15,764 Would that be okay? 1048 02:14:23,111 --> 02:14:26,308 Yeah, yeah. We can do that. Yeah. 1049 02:14:31,286 --> 02:14:32,583 All right, Ron. 1050 02:14:34,988 --> 02:14:36,285 Thank you. 1051 02:15:25,470 --> 02:15:27,631 What did his voice sound like now? 1052 02:15:28,940 --> 02:15:31,100 What would he tell about now? 1053 02:15:31,608 --> 02:15:34,702 ...nine, ten. 1054 02:16:24,359 --> 02:16:29,295 I realized that the words to my thoughts were of less and less meaning. 1055 02:16:29,397 --> 02:16:31,490 Chris was writing his story, 1056 02:16:33,000 --> 02:16:35,969 and it had to be Chris who would tell it. 1057 02:18:56,736 --> 02:18:59,170 "To call each thing by its right name. 1058 02:19:04,076 --> 02:19:05,771 "By its right name." 1059 02:19:56,960 --> 02:19:58,985 What if I were smiling 1060 02:20:01,497 --> 02:20:03,795 and running into your arms? 1061 02:20:26,820 --> 02:20:28,549 Would you see then 1062 02:20:33,527 --> 02:20:35,256 what I see now?