1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Created and Encoded by -- Bokutox -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. 2 00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:07,900 What's up? I'm Brüno. 3 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:15,193 I live in Austria's coolest city, Vienna. No big deal. Whatever. 4 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,033 I am the host of Funkyzeit, 5 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:24,204 the most important TV fashion show in any German-speaking country, 6 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,252 apart from Germany. 7 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,671 Funkyzeit is über influential. 8 00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:39,591 In fact, Austrian fashionistas live their lives according to my "In or Out" list. 9 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,723 In! Autism. 10 00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:43,643 Aus. Chlamydia. 11 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:47,771 Why is autism so cool at the moment? 12 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,514 -Because it's funny. -Great. 13 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:54,155 Through Funkyzeit, ich have done interviews 14 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,950 mit everyone in the Euro-fashion world. 15 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,198 Can you look into this camera and just say, 16 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:02,032 "You're watching Funkyzeit mit Brüno"? 17 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:06,991 You are watching Funkyzeit programme with Brüno, and it's really a great show. 18 00:02:07,668 --> 00:02:10,918 Yeah, that's cool. Can you do it, like, even more like a kind of black guy? 19 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:12,042 You know, like an afrikanischer... 20 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:13,501 -Like this? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 21 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:17,500 You are watching Funkyzeit programme with Brüno. 22 00:02:17,636 --> 00:02:20,970 Yo, man. Fuck, man. Welcome to the jungle. 23 00:02:21,515 --> 00:02:22,713 Something maybe a bit more crazy. 24 00:02:22,850 --> 00:02:25,341 Maybe show a bit of skin or something like that. 25 00:02:25,477 --> 00:02:29,309 -No, I don't think so. -Or what about just like one Kugelsack? 26 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,850 One of the balls? 27 00:02:31,275 --> 00:02:32,270 No. 28 00:02:32,901 --> 00:02:36,602 And the most exciting and amazing thing in the town, 29 00:02:36,738 --> 00:02:41,899 from the fashion streets of Milan, only for the German girls, my great hairs. 30 00:02:42,035 --> 00:02:43,233 Yo, man. 31 00:02:46,748 --> 00:02:49,037 Modelling, a lot of people think it's easy. 32 00:02:49,167 --> 00:02:51,658 But it's the hardest job in the world, isn't it? 33 00:02:51,795 --> 00:02:56,503 It's very hard. Standing in heels all day, and everyone's watching you, 34 00:02:56,633 --> 00:02:59,337 so you have to make sure your walk is good. And, yeah. 35 00:02:59,469 --> 00:03:01,508 Yeah, it's really hard, 'cause you've gotta remember, like, 36 00:03:01,638 --> 00:03:04,888 to put your right leg forward and then put your left leg forward 37 00:03:05,016 --> 00:03:06,676 and then, like, which one now? 38 00:03:06,809 --> 00:03:10,889 Right leg again, and then, like, the left one. And then sometimes you even have to turn. 39 00:03:11,022 --> 00:03:15,684 Yeah. And especially the turn. It's so scary. 40 00:03:16,902 --> 00:03:18,646 Being the host from Funkyzeit 41 00:03:18,779 --> 00:03:21,531 means Brüno's always seated on the front row. 42 00:03:22,908 --> 00:03:24,652 Hi. How are you? 43 00:03:24,785 --> 00:03:26,160 You have to lose some weight. 44 00:03:26,287 --> 00:03:28,908 -The kettle is calling the pot black. -Yeah? 45 00:03:30,582 --> 00:03:35,078 Put your shoulders back. This is a fashion show, not a slave auction. 46 00:03:37,464 --> 00:03:40,335 Mein personal assistant, Kookus, is my rock. 47 00:03:41,218 --> 00:03:42,593 He's also mein stylist. 48 00:03:42,844 --> 00:03:45,679 -Do you think the glasses are too much? -Yeah, I'd lose them. 49 00:03:45,805 --> 00:03:47,050 They're too much like, "Look at me. 50 00:03:47,182 --> 00:03:49,258 "Hey, everybody, look at me. Look at my glasses." 51 00:03:49,392 --> 00:03:50,970 -Yeah. -"Everybody, like, stare at my glasses." 52 00:03:51,102 --> 00:03:53,011 He's also my nutritionist. 53 00:03:54,272 --> 00:03:55,517 Yeah, that is good. 54 00:03:55,648 --> 00:03:59,598 I have a second assistant, but ich can't remember its name. 55 00:04:00,403 --> 00:04:03,357 Brüno has known true love twice in his life. 56 00:04:03,489 --> 00:04:08,566 Once, for 7 minutes with Milli from Milli und Vanilli. No big deal. Whatever. 57 00:04:09,453 --> 00:04:14,032 But for the last 9 years, ich have been head über heels in love 58 00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:17,333 mit a pygmy flight attendant called Diesel. 59 00:04:18,003 --> 00:04:22,582 We're just like an ordinary couple, you know, boring, stay-at-home types. 60 00:04:47,741 --> 00:04:51,904 -Oh, my God. I feel it. You're getting so big. -Ja. 61 00:04:55,498 --> 00:04:59,116 -How much do you want? -Just half a glass. Otherwise I get too giggly. 62 00:05:00,086 --> 00:05:04,795 In September 2008, I left for Milan Fashion Week 63 00:05:04,924 --> 00:05:07,593 to shoot a new season of Funkyzeit. 64 00:05:08,386 --> 00:05:13,463 Brüno had backstage access for the hottest show of the week, de la Prada. 65 00:05:13,933 --> 00:05:19,852 So I wore the jewel of mein wardrobe, a suit made entirely out of Velcro. 66 00:05:34,494 --> 00:05:35,574 I'm wearing this. 67 00:05:35,704 --> 00:05:39,452 This is a prototype. It's a Velcro suit made by Frederic Worms. 68 00:05:39,583 --> 00:05:40,579 Pretty cool, right? 69 00:05:40,709 --> 00:05:43,912 It is. I was looking at it, and can I have one? 70 00:05:44,462 --> 00:05:46,455 -Well, it's a prototype. It's a one-off. -Okay. 71 00:05:46,590 --> 00:05:48,167 -Thank you. -Yeah. Okay... 72 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,675 -Also... Yeah. -Can you go out, please? 73 00:05:49,801 --> 00:05:50,916 We'll get out, but don't push me. 74 00:05:51,052 --> 00:05:54,670 Yeah. Okay, no listen. We haven't finished the thing. 75 00:05:54,806 --> 00:05:55,885 -You go out now. -Yeah. 76 00:05:56,015 --> 00:05:57,344 Yeah, wait a second. 77 00:05:59,561 --> 00:06:01,185 Take... Get this off... 78 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,476 Stop! 79 00:06:11,989 --> 00:06:13,614 -Thank you. -Can someone help this guy? 80 00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:15,116 Can you take... 81 00:06:21,832 --> 00:06:25,877 Wait. Get me out of this. Get me out of this. 82 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,350 Brüno was aus. 83 00:06:51,194 --> 00:06:53,317 For the second time in a century, 84 00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:56,696 the world had turned on Austria's greatest man 85 00:06:57,116 --> 00:07:00,236 just because he was brave enough to try something new. 86 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:02,826 -No. -Okay. 87 00:07:03,081 --> 00:07:05,073 Brüno was schwarz-listed. 88 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,996 -I'm on the front row. -I don't think so. 89 00:07:14,925 --> 00:07:15,921 I'm sorry. 90 00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:24,380 Und worst of all... 91 00:07:24,643 --> 00:07:25,639 Hello? 92 00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:29,268 ...ich was fired from Funkyzeit. 93 00:07:32,776 --> 00:07:38,565 Ich realised that night that the fashion world was superficial und vacuous. 94 00:07:40,617 --> 00:07:46,157 So, I decided instead to go to Los Angeles to become a celebrity. 95 00:07:48,291 --> 00:07:54,080 Ich was going to be the biggest Austrian superstar since Hitler. 96 00:07:56,049 --> 00:07:57,792 What? I'm not coming. 97 00:07:58,426 --> 00:08:03,052 -Why not? -Because you out. You humiliate me. 98 00:08:03,598 --> 00:08:06,599 -I'm so sorry I humiliate you. -Okay. Gotta go. 99 00:08:07,810 --> 00:08:09,637 Bye, baby, I love you. 100 00:08:09,770 --> 00:08:12,605 Diesel, I love you. Diesel. 101 00:09:02,321 --> 00:09:04,029 Ich arrived in LA 102 00:09:04,157 --> 00:09:08,320 und cunningly avoided being snapped by the waiting paparazzi. 103 00:09:08,452 --> 00:09:12,664 No photos, please. Do you want another Diana on your hands? 104 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,537 Mein Plan was to become 105 00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:20,671 the biggest gay movie star since Schwarzenegger. 106 00:09:20,798 --> 00:09:22,589 Maximum Santzgaut! 107 00:09:23,509 --> 00:09:28,336 Also, ich headed to my first meeting mit a Hollywood über agent. 108 00:09:29,348 --> 00:09:32,099 So my name's Brüno. I was born in Klagenfurt. 109 00:09:32,226 --> 00:09:37,516 I'm 19 years old. And, of course, you'll know me as the host of Funkyzeit. 110 00:09:37,773 --> 00:09:40,809 Okay. Well, I understand that you took a look at a side 111 00:09:40,942 --> 00:09:44,228 that I wanted you to think about from the Jerry Maguire show. 112 00:09:44,362 --> 00:09:47,197 And I wouldn't mind hearing you try that out. 113 00:09:47,324 --> 00:09:48,652 Okay, great. 114 00:09:52,412 --> 00:09:54,120 -"Jerry enters." -No. 115 00:09:54,247 --> 00:09:56,738 -"Dorothy seated." -Just start with the word "hello." 116 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,373 "Hello. Hello. 117 00:10:00,461 --> 00:10:02,370 "I'm looking for my wife! 118 00:10:04,257 --> 00:10:07,423 -"Shut up, women." That was improvisation. -Fine. 119 00:10:08,094 --> 00:10:12,257 "I couldn't hear your voice or laugh about it with you." 120 00:10:31,241 --> 00:10:33,033 -All right, let me stop... Wait. -No, wait, wait. I... 121 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,493 Let me stop for 2 minutes. Let me stop you right there. 122 00:10:36,747 --> 00:10:39,320 Nowhere in the script does it say 123 00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:43,747 he pauses for an inordinate period of time. 124 00:10:44,713 --> 00:10:48,924 You're here because you are looking to do feature films. 125 00:10:49,050 --> 00:10:50,426 I wanna be a star. 126 00:10:50,635 --> 00:10:51,880 -In? -In a huge Hollywood movie. 127 00:10:54,848 --> 00:10:55,713 -Can you make that happen? -No. 128 00:10:55,849 --> 00:10:56,963 -What? -I definitely cannot. 129 00:10:58,601 --> 00:11:03,808 But he did get me a starring role in a top TV show as an extra. 130 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,559 All right, picture's next. Last looks, please. 131 00:11:12,573 --> 00:11:13,569 Set. 132 00:11:13,699 --> 00:11:15,277 -Background. -Action. 133 00:11:16,118 --> 00:11:17,399 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, 134 00:11:17,536 --> 00:11:21,664 it gives me no pleasure at all to speak to you this afternoon. 135 00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:25,743 The defendant, as you know, 136 00:11:25,878 --> 00:11:31,334 has served our municipality for more than 12 years as city controller. 137 00:11:31,466 --> 00:11:34,633 So I was pained to learn that his debts 138 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:39,922 compelled him to accept hundreds of thousands of dollars in bribes. 139 00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:43,309 -Cut! -Just do a little bit less. 140 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:44,932 -More or less? -Less. 141 00:11:45,397 --> 00:11:46,772 -Less. Okay. -Yeah. 142 00:11:47,023 --> 00:11:48,601 Sure. Thank you. 143 00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:53,941 -Set. -Action. 144 00:11:54,072 --> 00:11:55,103 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, 145 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,359 I'm afraid it gives me no pleasure at all to speak to you this afternoon. 146 00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:01,953 As you know, the defendant has served our municipality as city controller 147 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,408 for more than 12 years, 148 00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:08,120 and I have known him personally for most of that time. 149 00:12:10,504 --> 00:12:12,793 So I was very pained to learn that 150 00:12:12,923 --> 00:12:16,624 his personal debts compelled him to accept bribes. 151 00:12:16,761 --> 00:12:18,005 -Cut! -Here, I'll take that. 152 00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:19,299 -Okay. -Thank you. 153 00:12:21,599 --> 00:12:22,594 Sorry. 154 00:12:22,725 --> 00:12:24,100 -Should we just go again? -Okay. 155 00:12:25,352 --> 00:12:27,760 As you know, the defendant 156 00:12:28,939 --> 00:12:32,023 has served this municipality as city controller for more than 12 years, 157 00:12:32,150 --> 00:12:36,812 and I have personally known him for most of that time. 158 00:12:36,947 --> 00:12:39,319 That is why I was very pained to learn... 159 00:12:39,449 --> 00:12:42,901 Cut. Sorry, I'm not feeling this one. Could we go again? 160 00:12:43,495 --> 00:12:44,693 This way. 161 00:13:03,139 --> 00:13:05,178 You were actually my second choice. 162 00:13:05,308 --> 00:13:11,061 I was going to go to the salon that maintains Salma Hayek's inner thighs, 163 00:13:11,856 --> 00:13:15,474 but the team that do it were booked up for the next 4 days 164 00:13:15,609 --> 00:13:17,353 because she's got the Elle Style Awards. 165 00:13:17,778 --> 00:13:21,858 And they said they're, like, really, really exhausted after they do her. 166 00:13:21,991 --> 00:13:24,861 They're exhausted after they wax Salma Hayek? 167 00:13:24,994 --> 00:13:26,903 She must have a lot of hair. 168 00:13:27,037 --> 00:13:30,786 They say that after a waxing, there's enough to stuff a mattress. 169 00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:34,827 Well. Speaking of rectums, let's get you clean. 170 00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:37,377 -Okay. There we go. -There's not much. 171 00:13:37,506 --> 00:13:38,668 Yeah, sure. 172 00:13:39,925 --> 00:13:41,004 There you go. Now there's wax in there. 173 00:13:42,385 --> 00:13:43,880 Telephone. 174 00:13:44,012 --> 00:13:46,088 -Hello? -Hey, how you doing, man? 175 00:13:46,222 --> 00:13:47,847 Lloyd, hi. How are you? 176 00:13:47,974 --> 00:13:50,928 I just got off the phone with the network. They've agreed to do a screening. 177 00:13:51,061 --> 00:13:54,014 Great! Das is all maximum Santzgaut! 178 00:13:54,147 --> 00:13:57,931 In 2 days. I got them to pay for a focus group for the show. 179 00:13:58,067 --> 00:13:59,811 I think you just scraped my anus. 180 00:13:59,944 --> 00:14:01,225 I did. I got you clean. 181 00:14:01,529 --> 00:14:03,854 My stinker is slightly burning. Is that normal? 182 00:14:03,990 --> 00:14:04,986 What? 183 00:14:05,116 --> 00:14:08,236 No, that was to the lady who is... I'm in the salon, yes. 184 00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,243 She's just washing my Arschwitz. 185 00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:13,574 Is there any way we can get something together enough to put it on? 186 00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:15,949 -Okay, sure. -All right. I'm gonna call them right now. 187 00:14:16,127 --> 00:14:17,786 Are you using Vaseline? 188 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:18,999 No, lotion. 189 00:14:19,129 --> 00:14:22,166 Could you take your finger out of my Arschenholer? 190 00:14:22,299 --> 00:14:24,541 All right. I think, guys, we're finished. 191 00:14:24,677 --> 00:14:27,630 Once again, "Can you take my finger, your finger out of my ass," 192 00:14:27,763 --> 00:14:29,257 is what the guy just said on the phone. 193 00:14:29,389 --> 00:14:32,260 No, Lloyd, I was not speaking to you. I was just talking to the woman here. 194 00:14:32,392 --> 00:14:33,590 Who's got the audio? 195 00:14:34,728 --> 00:14:36,970 I want to hear the audio back. I want you to hear... 196 00:14:37,105 --> 00:14:39,181 I want you to hear what this fool is saying. 197 00:14:39,316 --> 00:14:42,270 Play it back. Talking about what? His asshole. 198 00:15:08,135 --> 00:15:09,678 Can you be quiet? 199 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,928 Hello, hello. Hey, can you come in? 200 00:15:15,059 --> 00:15:16,850 Do any of you guys want to make some more money? 201 00:15:21,732 --> 00:15:23,274 -Hi. How are you? -Hi. 202 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,318 -I'm Brüno. Great to have you here. -It's nice to meet you. 203 00:15:26,445 --> 00:15:28,852 Come and sit on our great furniture. 204 00:15:31,909 --> 00:15:34,281 These are our Mexican chair people. 205 00:15:34,995 --> 00:15:37,367 Demi Moore has 2 of them in her house. 206 00:15:37,748 --> 00:15:39,123 Yeah, if you sit here. 207 00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:41,958 If you sit on that one. 208 00:15:44,337 --> 00:15:47,007 Also, so tell me about your humanitarian work. 209 00:15:48,717 --> 00:15:51,967 How important is it for you to help other people? 210 00:15:53,555 --> 00:15:56,046 Helping other people is so vital to my life. 211 00:15:56,766 --> 00:16:01,143 It's like the air that I breathe and the water that I drink. 212 00:16:01,646 --> 00:16:05,774 -Please, have some water. -It is extremely, extremely important for me. 213 00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:09,269 You give love to other people and you get love back in spades. 214 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:10,732 And I just feel like that's been my life. 215 00:16:12,573 --> 00:16:14,815 Great. You must be hungry. Let's bring in some food. 216 00:16:16,035 --> 00:16:17,529 Oh, my God. 217 00:16:18,662 --> 00:16:20,370 -Have some. -Yeah, this is really bad for me. 218 00:16:20,497 --> 00:16:22,905 I'm sorry. This is really not good. 219 00:16:23,042 --> 00:16:24,500 We're leaving. 220 00:16:24,793 --> 00:16:27,747 Come back, please. Can you please come back? 221 00:16:33,635 --> 00:16:37,253 Yes, yes, I understand. But I was thinking... 222 00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:41,849 Okay, but... Okay. Okay. 223 00:16:42,185 --> 00:16:43,929 Yes. Thank you. 224 00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:52,520 Minimum Santzgaut. 225 00:16:55,531 --> 00:16:56,527 Puffy Vater? 226 00:16:59,035 --> 00:17:00,315 Reese Witterspinzel? 227 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,533 Stevie Wunderbar? 228 00:17:04,707 --> 00:17:05,987 Wilhelm Schmidt? 229 00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:09,085 Bradolf Pittler? 230 00:17:28,939 --> 00:17:31,691 I think this focus group is really gonna be 231 00:17:31,858 --> 00:17:34,729 a very interesting example of how it's gonna play out. 232 00:17:34,861 --> 00:17:37,946 I actually got an interview mit Harrison Ford. 233 00:17:39,032 --> 00:17:40,491 -Very good. Very good. -Yes. 234 00:17:40,617 --> 00:17:43,404 So, you probably already know, today we're going to be looking at a new TV show, 235 00:17:43,536 --> 00:17:46,372 A-List Celebrity Max Out mit Brüno. 236 00:17:46,665 --> 00:17:49,369 -Howdy, I'm Lloyd Robinson. -Lloyd, Denny Bond. 237 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,209 Hi. Hi. Great. 238 00:17:51,336 --> 00:17:54,752 Me und Lloyd, we haven't actually spoke since the other day 239 00:17:54,881 --> 00:17:57,419 when I was getting my anus bleached. 240 00:18:00,303 --> 00:18:01,465 We won't go there, please. 241 00:18:01,596 --> 00:18:03,339 -We won't go there. Yeah. -That was a very 242 00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:04,801 difficult issue on the phone. 243 00:18:05,016 --> 00:18:07,092 And it's very important what scores you give it, 244 00:18:07,226 --> 00:18:09,598 because if the show scores over an 85%,, 245 00:18:09,729 --> 00:18:12,599 the network's obviously gonna be very interested. So take a look. 246 00:18:13,357 --> 00:18:14,899 -Absolutely. -Congratulations. 247 00:18:15,609 --> 00:18:19,821 Who's ready to max out with loads of celebrities? I am. 248 00:18:20,489 --> 00:18:24,700 Because das ist A-List Celebrity Max Out. 249 00:18:39,257 --> 00:18:41,250 -How are you? -Great. Thank you for having me. 250 00:18:41,384 --> 00:18:43,092 Okay, so this is the part of the show, 251 00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:45,259 it's called Future Kinder. People who are pregnant, 252 00:18:45,388 --> 00:18:47,013 we've managed to get the ultrasound photos. 253 00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:48,136 -It's totally great. -Okay. 254 00:18:48,266 --> 00:18:51,765 Okay, it is Britney's sister. I can't even remember her name. 255 00:18:51,895 --> 00:18:53,603 -What's her name? -Jamie Lynn. 256 00:18:53,730 --> 00:18:56,268 Jamie Lynn Spears. I mean, is she a celebrity? 257 00:18:56,399 --> 00:18:57,395 No. 258 00:19:00,028 --> 00:19:03,610 Okay, let's see what she's got in her stomach. 259 00:19:04,574 --> 00:19:07,574 All right. What do you think there? Is that a white-trash foetus? 260 00:19:07,702 --> 00:19:08,982 Yeah. Totally. 261 00:19:09,161 --> 00:19:11,320 She's got her arms up like she's a A-lister. 262 00:19:11,455 --> 00:19:14,789 Newsflash, you're in a C-lister's womb. Am I right? 263 00:19:14,917 --> 00:19:16,791 Worse. I think, like, D. 264 00:19:17,044 --> 00:19:18,787 Do you think this kid is retarded? 265 00:19:19,088 --> 00:19:20,879 Definitely the hands look way too big, 266 00:19:21,006 --> 00:19:23,295 and the ears, like, have not been developed yet. 267 00:19:23,425 --> 00:19:26,426 -Yeah, so keep it or abort it? -Abort it. 268 00:19:28,639 --> 00:19:33,051 Und now, my exclusive interview mit Harrison Ford 269 00:19:34,019 --> 00:19:39,096 is only moments away. But first, some more dancing mit Brüno. 270 00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:53,027 That's right. It's the time you've all been waiting for. 271 00:19:53,162 --> 00:19:59,829 It's my one-on-one, exclusive interview mit Harrison Ford. 272 00:20:01,212 --> 00:20:03,501 -Also, here I am mit Harrison Ford. -Fuck off! 273 00:20:05,424 --> 00:20:06,420 What's that? 274 00:20:20,397 --> 00:20:21,642 That's actually mine. 275 00:20:23,025 --> 00:20:24,056 -More champagne? -No, I'm fine, thanks. 276 00:20:29,573 --> 00:20:30,652 Brüno! 277 00:20:36,413 --> 00:20:38,156 The end bit was Lloyd's idea. 278 00:20:38,957 --> 00:20:40,748 The last bit was? Lloyd's? 279 00:20:43,378 --> 00:20:46,581 So if you could describe this show in one sentence... 280 00:20:47,007 --> 00:20:48,880 Can anybody give me one sentence? 281 00:20:49,008 --> 00:20:51,630 -Go ahead. -The worst piece of crap I have ever seen. 282 00:20:51,928 --> 00:20:54,597 There's always one who's against it. Those... 283 00:20:54,722 --> 00:20:56,181 In any group, there's always one. 284 00:20:56,307 --> 00:20:59,178 What sick human being came up with something like this? 285 00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:01,552 Well, there's always 2. There's always 2. 286 00:21:01,687 --> 00:21:04,641 I wanted to poke my eyes out with hot needles. 287 00:21:04,774 --> 00:21:06,683 You'd have to borrow the needles from me. 288 00:21:07,318 --> 00:21:08,729 Lloyd, we need to distract him 289 00:21:08,861 --> 00:21:10,355 -from listening to this. -You can't. You can't. 290 00:21:10,488 --> 00:21:11,982 -We need to distract him. -You can't. 291 00:21:12,114 --> 00:21:13,229 -Kiss me. -No. 292 00:21:13,365 --> 00:21:16,450 No logical person would consider a show like this 293 00:21:16,577 --> 00:21:20,444 unless they had some sort of a mental or moral defect. 294 00:21:20,914 --> 00:21:22,113 Everything. 295 00:21:25,627 --> 00:21:26,623 Oh, my God. 296 00:21:27,087 --> 00:21:28,712 Let me have a look at those. 297 00:21:28,839 --> 00:21:31,840 "The host is a talentless idiot." 298 00:21:32,467 --> 00:21:35,005 Is this the dancing of a talentless idiot? 299 00:21:38,890 --> 00:21:40,171 -I would say that it is. -Yeah, yeah. 300 00:21:40,559 --> 00:21:41,887 Please, where you going? 301 00:21:42,018 --> 00:21:44,853 Please, this is my career. I put all my money into this. 302 00:22:22,307 --> 00:22:25,261 I'm here with Congressman Ron Paul, 303 00:22:25,394 --> 00:22:28,560 who was the 2008 presidential candidate. 304 00:22:29,606 --> 00:22:32,180 So tell me, who are you wearing? 305 00:22:32,776 --> 00:22:36,109 Well, I don't even know because it's pretty conventional. 306 00:22:36,238 --> 00:22:39,441 And I'm pretty, in that sense, pretty ordinary. 307 00:22:39,574 --> 00:22:41,448 But the message is not ordinary. 308 00:22:47,374 --> 00:22:48,405 Sure. 309 00:22:57,008 --> 00:22:59,795 -Do you want some champagne? -I don't care for any. No. 310 00:22:59,927 --> 00:23:02,881 There's no ice bucket, but I know a good place to put it. 311 00:23:04,765 --> 00:23:08,134 Yeah, you were great in there. Have you done a lot of television before? 312 00:23:08,352 --> 00:23:12,302 Well, off and on throughout the years. This last year, a tremendous amount. 313 00:23:12,481 --> 00:23:14,106 -Sure. -I do a lot of them. 314 00:23:14,733 --> 00:23:16,144 Do you want some strawberries 315 00:23:16,277 --> 00:23:18,518 -or maybe some oysters? -No, I'm okay. 316 00:23:18,821 --> 00:23:20,979 I'm gonna light some candles if it's okay. 317 00:23:22,533 --> 00:23:23,991 Really loosens you up. 318 00:23:25,786 --> 00:23:28,455 Has anyone ever told you you look like Enrique Iglesias? 319 00:23:31,041 --> 00:23:33,117 Of course not. You're much cuter. 320 00:23:38,131 --> 00:23:39,127 I love music. 321 00:23:42,636 --> 00:23:44,712 And dancing. I used to be a dancer. 322 00:24:04,156 --> 00:24:06,564 -All right! Get out of here! -What? 323 00:24:07,326 --> 00:24:09,153 -All right, this has ended. -What's going on? 324 00:24:09,662 --> 00:24:13,909 That guy is queerer than the blazes. He took his clothes off. Let's get going. 325 00:24:14,125 --> 00:24:16,164 -What happened? -He's queer. He's crazy. 326 00:24:16,293 --> 00:24:18,085 He put a hit on me. He took his clothes off. 327 00:24:18,212 --> 00:24:20,750 I couldn't even schtupp RuPaul. 328 00:24:21,382 --> 00:24:23,458 How would I become weltfamous? 329 00:24:23,801 --> 00:24:27,845 Ich decided to seek advice from the wisest guy I'd ever known. 330 00:24:28,013 --> 00:24:30,089 I wanna speak to Milli 331 00:24:30,223 --> 00:24:33,343 from the pop dance group Milli und Vanilli. 332 00:24:34,394 --> 00:24:39,186 Is he in heaven? And if so, is he in the VIP section there? 333 00:24:42,736 --> 00:24:46,105 He says he's in a place with green trees and flowers. 334 00:24:46,865 --> 00:24:50,031 Can I ask him if he has any advice for me? 335 00:24:53,955 --> 00:24:59,708 He says there's some sort of thing that you will set up, like a foundation or something, 336 00:24:59,836 --> 00:25:03,205 where there will be other people involved that will benefit. 337 00:25:03,798 --> 00:25:09,040 Okay, that's a great idea, 'cause if I do that, then I'll definitely become world famous. 338 00:25:09,387 --> 00:25:10,501 Absolutely. 339 00:25:10,638 --> 00:25:14,505 There's something that he could do that could make me incredibly happy. 340 00:25:15,184 --> 00:25:17,093 -Can I kiss him now? -Of course. 341 00:26:35,804 --> 00:26:37,084 Well, good luck with your life. 342 00:26:39,849 --> 00:26:42,637 Thanks to Milli, ich could now see clearly 343 00:26:42,852 --> 00:26:44,892 despite having an eyeful of Schpunken. 344 00:26:45,522 --> 00:26:48,439 Charity was a great way to become famous. 345 00:26:49,025 --> 00:26:54,020 Also, Brüno just needed to find the hottest world tragedy to fix. 346 00:26:54,155 --> 00:26:57,109 I want a charity that doesn't involve too much effort, 347 00:26:57,241 --> 00:27:01,950 but is gonna really make a difference, you know, really put me into the A-list. 348 00:27:02,079 --> 00:27:05,033 Is there something that you, like, that you believe in? 349 00:27:05,166 --> 00:27:06,743 Well, I'm really into issues. 350 00:27:06,876 --> 00:27:09,830 Yeah. Global warming's only getting worse. 351 00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:10,958 -So... -Great. 352 00:27:11,088 --> 00:27:13,579 Now, I think that would be... That's something to get involved now, 353 00:27:13,716 --> 00:27:17,583 so, we can just help ease the... 354 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,839 Like, after us, in order to help for our future. 355 00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:24,805 In order for everyone... It's just a beneficial thing to be involved with now. 356 00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:28,311 I'm really into doing something maybe for Africa. 357 00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:30,396 -Okay. -Is that still cool or... 358 00:27:30,524 --> 00:27:35,020 Saving some kind of extinct animal. What's going extinct right now? 359 00:27:35,445 --> 00:27:37,652 -I don't know, like elephants or something. -And then make bracelets? 360 00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:41,150 That's so bad. Never mind. I was gonna say make bracelets out of a... 361 00:27:41,284 --> 00:27:44,071 Make bracelets out of the extinct animal? 362 00:27:44,204 --> 00:27:46,410 That's not gonna really work though, because you need the... 363 00:27:46,539 --> 00:27:48,746 You can't take from the extinct animal. 364 00:27:52,378 --> 00:27:55,961 What's the coolest type of charity to get into at the moment? 365 00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:59,133 Save Dafar? 366 00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:01,339 -Save what? -Save Dafar. 367 00:28:01,471 --> 00:28:03,095 -Save Dafar, yeah. -Angelina Jolie. 368 00:28:03,222 --> 00:28:05,464 Is that in, like, Iraqi or something like that? 369 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,557 Yeah, that's in the... It's in... Yeah. 370 00:28:07,685 --> 00:28:08,681 Yeah. 371 00:28:08,811 --> 00:28:13,354 Is there anywhere in the world that no celebrity has tried to fix? 372 00:28:13,482 --> 00:28:15,475 Darfur is the big one now. 373 00:28:15,651 --> 00:28:18,106 -Yeah, no, it is. -What's the new one? What's Dar-five? 374 00:28:18,404 --> 00:28:19,435 -Yeah. -Yeah. 375 00:28:20,864 --> 00:28:23,865 Ich was going to become famous by solving a world problem. 376 00:28:23,992 --> 00:28:25,072 But which one? 377 00:28:26,954 --> 00:28:28,578 Clooney's got Darfur. 378 00:28:28,705 --> 00:28:32,655 Sting's got the Amazon, and Bono's got AIDS. 379 00:28:33,835 --> 00:28:37,453 Luckily, there was still one shithole left to fix, 380 00:28:38,215 --> 00:28:39,460 the Middle-earth. 381 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:46,720 Mein Plan was to get both sides to sign a peace deal in front of the world's press, 382 00:28:47,015 --> 00:28:49,138 making Brüno über famous. 383 00:28:51,978 --> 00:28:54,267 Hi, I love your hat. It's great. 384 00:29:07,451 --> 00:29:09,195 Hey, great. Is that Marc Jacobs? 385 00:29:13,207 --> 00:29:14,535 Lutz! Lutz! Start the car! 386 00:29:15,793 --> 00:29:16,789 Lutz! 387 00:29:22,007 --> 00:29:25,376 Why are you so anti-hummus? 388 00:29:26,094 --> 00:29:29,012 I mean, isn't pita bread the real enemy? 389 00:29:29,556 --> 00:29:32,094 You're confusing Hamas with hummus, I believe. 390 00:29:32,976 --> 00:29:34,221 -Hummus has nothing to do with Hamas. -Do you think 391 00:29:34,352 --> 00:29:36,725 there is a relation between Hamas and hummus? 392 00:29:36,855 --> 00:29:40,188 So was the founder of Hamas a chef? 393 00:29:41,109 --> 00:29:46,234 He had created the food and then got lots of followers. 394 00:29:46,364 --> 00:29:52,319 Hummus has nothing to do with Hamas. It's a food. Okay? We eat it. They eat it. 395 00:29:52,745 --> 00:29:55,580 It's vegetarian. It's healthy. It's beans. 396 00:29:57,250 --> 00:29:59,408 Well, do you both agree on that? 397 00:30:00,378 --> 00:30:03,165 We both agree that hummus is very healthy. 398 00:30:03,464 --> 00:30:05,421 So we're making progress. 399 00:30:06,717 --> 00:30:08,710 Let's try and get a solution, right? 400 00:30:08,886 --> 00:30:13,429 'Cause I'm not gonna be here forever. Will you, the Palestinians, 401 00:30:13,891 --> 00:30:18,636 agree to give the pyramids back to the Israelis? 402 00:30:19,104 --> 00:30:20,931 This is in Egypt. Not in Palestine. 403 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,643 I don't care where you put them. Give them back. 404 00:30:25,986 --> 00:30:29,651 This is about gaining something for your own people 405 00:30:29,781 --> 00:30:33,613 whether you believe it, whether you were convinced to do that. 406 00:30:33,744 --> 00:30:35,950 -But in any case... -All right, okay. Take it easy, girlfriend. 407 00:30:36,079 --> 00:30:37,242 -All right. -Civil rights... 408 00:30:37,372 --> 00:30:40,788 If I did not get these queens to sign a peace deal soon, 409 00:30:40,917 --> 00:30:42,661 I would not become famous. 410 00:30:43,128 --> 00:30:47,457 So I decided to think outside the Geschwindigkeitsbegrenzung. 411 00:30:48,091 --> 00:30:53,132 I've written a song that I think is gonna help us make peace. 412 00:30:53,846 --> 00:30:55,341 In fact, I know it will. 413 00:30:57,308 --> 00:30:59,016 I've written a song 414 00:30:59,727 --> 00:31:04,722 that I hope is gonna bring you two together 415 00:31:07,443 --> 00:31:11,108 It's time for this war to end 416 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,613 Jews and Hindus, you be friends 417 00:31:15,075 --> 00:31:17,483 This is the Middle East 418 00:31:17,620 --> 00:31:21,487 Creating love is my mission 419 00:31:21,623 --> 00:31:23,283 Don't kill each other 420 00:31:23,417 --> 00:31:25,742 Shoot a Christian 421 00:31:29,756 --> 00:31:33,505 Ich bin Brüno, dove of peace 422 00:31:36,513 --> 00:31:39,467 Ich bin Brüno, dove of peace 423 00:31:43,353 --> 00:31:46,270 Ich bin Brüno, dove of peace 424 00:31:59,452 --> 00:32:00,614 Yeah, a bit more than that. 425 00:32:00,745 --> 00:32:02,903 Ich was out of options. 426 00:32:03,039 --> 00:32:07,582 My song hadn't worked, und I didn't have enough ecstasy for everyone. 427 00:32:07,710 --> 00:32:10,830 Ich was ready to give up when I suddenly remembered something 428 00:32:10,963 --> 00:32:12,588 that the Jude had said. 429 00:32:13,048 --> 00:32:15,456 In the last few years, people were kidnapped, 430 00:32:15,593 --> 00:32:19,460 and then they would broadcast it to the whole world. 431 00:32:19,596 --> 00:32:20,972 -To the whole world? -Yeah. 432 00:32:21,098 --> 00:32:22,722 So what, the whole world gets to see 433 00:32:22,850 --> 00:32:24,308 -these hostage videos? -Of course. Of course. 434 00:32:29,648 --> 00:32:33,064 Ich would become famous by getting kidnapped. 435 00:32:36,947 --> 00:32:40,944 I am going to say something that is gonna get you so angry 436 00:32:41,409 --> 00:32:44,079 that if you've got a gun on you, you're gonna pull it out 437 00:32:44,204 --> 00:32:47,407 -and shoot me in the head. Are you ready? -Yeah. 438 00:32:48,082 --> 00:32:50,704 Your hair is sun damaged. 439 00:32:54,839 --> 00:32:57,674 I'll be honest with you. I want to be famous. 440 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:03,470 And I want the best guys in the business to kidnap me. Al-Qaeda is so 2001. 441 00:33:04,598 --> 00:33:06,057 I don't like. 442 00:33:06,308 --> 00:33:08,882 Can I give you guys a word of advice? 443 00:33:09,437 --> 00:33:12,936 Lose the beards, because your King Osama 444 00:33:13,065 --> 00:33:17,394 looks like a kind of dirty wizard or a homeless Santa. 445 00:33:32,584 --> 00:33:34,541 Get out. Get out now. 446 00:33:34,961 --> 00:33:37,672 Ich was encouraged to leave the Middle East. 447 00:33:37,672 --> 00:33:37,755 Ich was encouraged to leave the Middle East. 448 00:33:38,131 --> 00:33:40,040 But Brüno had a new plan. 449 00:33:40,175 --> 00:33:42,500 It involved stopping off in Africa 450 00:33:42,635 --> 00:33:45,340 on the way home for a little bit of shopping. 451 00:34:34,978 --> 00:34:37,730 Mein little afrikanischer Freund was going to get me 452 00:34:37,856 --> 00:34:40,263 on the cover of every magazine. 453 00:34:41,276 --> 00:34:43,564 Also, ich hired a top photographer 454 00:34:43,695 --> 00:34:47,230 und held a casting for the hottest baby photo shoot ever. 455 00:34:48,825 --> 00:34:51,779 We're gonna do like this religious theme 456 00:34:51,911 --> 00:34:56,454 where my baby is gonna be on a crucifix playing Jesus 457 00:34:56,582 --> 00:34:58,290 even though my baby's black. So it's pretty cool, no? 458 00:34:58,417 --> 00:35:00,457 That's cool. It's kind of like that Madonna video. 459 00:35:00,586 --> 00:35:02,662 Yeah, it's really edgy. You know, we're turning it on its head. 460 00:35:02,797 --> 00:35:04,421 Why not? Come on. Whatever. 461 00:35:04,548 --> 00:35:09,127 So. We're looking for 2 thieves to be on the crucifixes next to my baby. 462 00:35:09,261 --> 00:35:13,639 Would you be ready for your baby to be strung up on a crucifix next to mine? 463 00:35:13,766 --> 00:35:16,470 Fine. Yeah, I don't mind her being up on a crucifix. 464 00:35:16,602 --> 00:35:17,633 Sure. 465 00:35:17,770 --> 00:35:21,518 Is your baby comfortable with bees, wasps and hornets? 466 00:35:21,648 --> 00:35:23,974 George is comfortable with everything. He's fine. 467 00:35:24,109 --> 00:35:26,980 Is he comfortable with dead or dying animals? 468 00:35:28,447 --> 00:35:29,478 Yes. 469 00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:31,355 Great. 470 00:35:32,117 --> 00:35:33,492 Amateur science? 471 00:35:33,618 --> 00:35:34,650 What do you mean by that? 472 00:35:34,786 --> 00:35:40,456 You know, some untrained people conducting scientific experiments. 473 00:35:41,084 --> 00:35:42,080 -Should be fine. -You know, 474 00:35:42,210 --> 00:35:44,119 her mixing the pots of acid and that type... 475 00:35:44,295 --> 00:35:45,706 -Okay. -And so it's a yes. 476 00:35:45,839 --> 00:35:47,119 -Yes. -Great. 477 00:35:47,257 --> 00:35:50,174 Is she okay with extremely rapid acceleration? 478 00:35:50,969 --> 00:35:52,000 Yes. 479 00:35:52,261 --> 00:35:53,257 -Okay. -Yes. 480 00:35:53,388 --> 00:35:56,507 Does she always have to be in a car seat, or can she just, like, freestyle it? 481 00:35:56,641 --> 00:35:59,262 Yeah. You can freestyle it, put her in a car seat. Whatever. 482 00:35:59,393 --> 00:36:00,971 If it looks better without the car seat... 483 00:36:01,103 --> 00:36:02,135 Of course. Of course. 484 00:36:02,271 --> 00:36:05,307 So what? You're travelling fast. You're not gonna kill it. 485 00:36:05,441 --> 00:36:06,816 Of course. Of course. 486 00:36:06,942 --> 00:36:10,146 Is your baby fine with antiquated heavy machinery? 487 00:36:10,738 --> 00:36:13,145 Yeah, she's fine. She's been around that. 488 00:36:13,282 --> 00:36:15,358 Would she be fine to operate them? 489 00:36:15,492 --> 00:36:16,868 -Yes. -Great. 490 00:36:17,369 --> 00:36:20,204 Is your baby fine with lit phosphorus? 491 00:36:20,497 --> 00:36:21,493 Yes. 492 00:36:21,623 --> 00:36:23,415 Excellent. Does he like it? 493 00:36:23,876 --> 00:36:25,619 -Loves it. -Good. 494 00:36:26,044 --> 00:36:29,211 A little sensitive subject here. How much does she weigh? 495 00:36:29,339 --> 00:36:31,498 She's about 30 pounds. 496 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,670 -Thirty pounds. -Yes. Approximately. 497 00:36:35,262 --> 00:36:38,097 Can Olivia lose 10 pounds in the next week? 498 00:36:38,515 --> 00:36:40,673 In the next week, 7 days. 499 00:36:42,394 --> 00:36:45,098 Yeah. I'd have to do whatever I could. 500 00:36:45,230 --> 00:36:46,807 If there's a problem losing the weight, 501 00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:50,355 would you be ready to have Olivia undergo liposuction? 502 00:36:50,610 --> 00:36:53,564 If that was a last resort and she didn't lose the few pounds, 503 00:36:53,696 --> 00:36:56,068 then, yeah, we'd have to do that. 504 00:36:56,741 --> 00:36:58,532 Great. Fantastisch news. 505 00:36:58,659 --> 00:37:03,368 We have chosen your baby to be dressed as a Nazi officer 506 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:09,247 pushing a wheelbarrow with another baby as a Jew in it into an oven. 507 00:37:09,712 --> 00:37:11,170 Into an oven? 508 00:37:11,422 --> 00:37:13,628 Congratulations. How do you feel? 509 00:37:13,757 --> 00:37:16,331 -Great, if she got the job. That's great. -Yeah. 510 00:37:50,710 --> 00:37:52,667 O.J., you're going to be on television. 511 00:38:20,823 --> 00:38:23,029 Welcome back to Today with Richard Bey. 512 00:38:23,158 --> 00:38:27,286 Now, our next guest is a single parent. Please welcome Brüno. 513 00:38:37,839 --> 00:38:40,128 Where are you from? 514 00:38:40,508 --> 00:38:41,540 I'm from Austria. 515 00:38:41,676 --> 00:38:45,543 Austria. And what are your impressions of the American people? 516 00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:46,843 You see a lot of them out here. 517 00:38:46,973 --> 00:38:51,018 I gotta say, I love American people, and I love African-American people. 518 00:38:51,144 --> 00:38:53,931 You're the best. You guys are the best. 519 00:38:55,857 --> 00:38:58,526 All right, all right. Now, you are a single parent. 520 00:38:58,818 --> 00:38:59,980 -Yeah. -Most people think that a child 521 00:39:00,111 --> 00:39:01,391 should have 2 parents. 522 00:39:01,529 --> 00:39:04,732 It is, like, really difficult, you know, 523 00:39:04,865 --> 00:39:08,115 bringing up a child without another parent. Am I right? 524 00:39:08,244 --> 00:39:09,358 -Right. -Right. 525 00:39:09,495 --> 00:39:13,078 I'm hoping that I don't grow old alone. Am I right? 526 00:39:13,207 --> 00:39:14,203 True that. True that. 527 00:39:14,333 --> 00:39:16,906 I'm hoping that I find Mr. Right. Am I right? 528 00:39:17,044 --> 00:39:18,040 -No! -No! 529 00:39:19,213 --> 00:39:20,837 No, no, no. 530 00:39:21,632 --> 00:39:24,383 Well, honey, you need to get it together. Sugar, you're lost and confused. 531 00:39:24,509 --> 00:39:25,885 -All right, now... -Listen, you're just jealous 532 00:39:26,011 --> 00:39:27,671 'cause you know I can get any guy here. 533 00:39:27,804 --> 00:39:29,133 Go get them! 534 00:39:37,272 --> 00:39:38,731 You brought your son here today? 535 00:39:39,024 --> 00:39:41,515 -That's right. -Can we see your son? 536 00:39:42,235 --> 00:39:43,314 Yeah, sure. 537 00:39:43,445 --> 00:39:45,651 No. No. 538 00:39:46,030 --> 00:39:47,573 All right, this is... 539 00:39:56,457 --> 00:39:57,738 -What? -Where did they allow you 540 00:39:57,875 --> 00:40:00,082 to get your baby from? Is your baby from Australia? 541 00:40:00,211 --> 00:40:03,247 I was in the Middle East, like, solving the crisis there. 542 00:40:03,381 --> 00:40:05,041 No big deal. Whatever. 543 00:40:05,174 --> 00:40:08,091 And I flew back here to America, 544 00:40:08,219 --> 00:40:12,003 und I stopped over in this country called Africa, right? 545 00:40:12,139 --> 00:40:15,175 Africa is a continent, not a country, baby. Get it right. 546 00:40:15,309 --> 00:40:17,136 Well, it is full of African-Americans. 547 00:40:17,269 --> 00:40:20,685 It's full of Africans. It's full of people of African descent. 548 00:40:20,814 --> 00:40:24,100 No. That's a racist thing to call them. African-Americans is the right word. 549 00:40:24,234 --> 00:40:25,942 No. African-Americans are here. 550 00:40:27,487 --> 00:40:29,112 No, they're called African-Americans, girlfriend. 551 00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:30,318 No, fool. 552 00:40:30,449 --> 00:40:32,571 All right. So how did you find your son? 553 00:40:32,701 --> 00:40:33,697 I swapped him. 554 00:40:33,827 --> 00:40:35,369 -You swapped him? -What? 555 00:40:36,788 --> 00:40:38,828 Swapped the baby for what? 556 00:40:38,957 --> 00:40:40,617 -For an iPod. -What? 557 00:40:43,044 --> 00:40:44,040 Not just any iPod. 558 00:40:44,170 --> 00:40:48,120 One that was, like, limited edition, red. A U2 iPod. Heard of it? 559 00:40:49,133 --> 00:40:53,083 All right, but wait a second. You are the baby's father now. 560 00:40:53,221 --> 00:40:56,886 And you chose to dress that baby up in a T-shirt that says what? 561 00:40:57,016 --> 00:40:58,047 Gayby. 562 00:40:58,184 --> 00:41:00,223 That's not the baby's name, is it? 563 00:41:00,353 --> 00:41:03,022 No. I gave him, like, a traditional African name. 564 00:41:03,272 --> 00:41:04,766 So what's the baby's name? 565 00:41:04,899 --> 00:41:05,894 O.J. 566 00:41:10,196 --> 00:41:11,394 Stand up, please. 567 00:41:11,530 --> 00:41:14,103 I think you're using him as an accessory. 568 00:41:14,241 --> 00:41:17,859 I think maybe because he's a black baby that might be your cue, 569 00:41:17,995 --> 00:41:20,746 like how some people walk in the park with dogs to pick up girls, 570 00:41:20,873 --> 00:41:22,497 that might be your cue to get maybe a down-low brother. 571 00:41:22,624 --> 00:41:24,498 I don't know. What do you think? 572 00:41:24,626 --> 00:41:27,082 I gotta be honest. He's a real dick magnet. 573 00:41:29,047 --> 00:41:32,250 You brought some photographs that you took with the child because... 574 00:41:32,384 --> 00:41:34,756 I guess to demonstrate how much you love the child. 575 00:41:34,886 --> 00:41:36,760 We're going to put them up on this screen. 576 00:41:36,888 --> 00:41:38,715 That's the first shot. 577 00:41:43,436 --> 00:41:45,476 Let's see the next picture. 578 00:41:51,903 --> 00:41:53,563 You're gonna burn in hell for that one. 579 00:41:53,696 --> 00:41:54,811 That's some mess. 580 00:41:54,947 --> 00:41:58,316 All right. Do we have another photo, or is that the last one? 581 00:41:58,451 --> 00:41:59,826 There we go. 582 00:42:01,245 --> 00:42:02,787 What is going on here? 583 00:42:02,913 --> 00:42:06,282 If I'm having fun, I want little O.J. to come with me. 584 00:42:06,584 --> 00:42:08,825 I want him to have fun with me. 585 00:42:10,754 --> 00:42:12,961 Hold on. Hold on. What's that? 586 00:42:14,174 --> 00:42:15,206 -What is that? -Someone's scared. 587 00:42:15,342 --> 00:42:17,299 -You're making the audience leave. -They are scared of the truth. 588 00:42:17,428 --> 00:42:20,097 Yes, ma'am? Stand up, please. Go ahead. 589 00:42:21,098 --> 00:42:25,925 Listen, I don't see how you can even walk out of here with that baby in your hands 590 00:42:26,061 --> 00:42:30,272 without someone stopping you and taking that baby out of your possession. 591 00:42:30,398 --> 00:42:33,649 All right, well, you know, there is a finale to this talk show. 592 00:42:33,777 --> 00:42:38,320 Please welcome Shatonya Miggins from the State Child Services Department. 593 00:42:41,826 --> 00:42:43,285 Take the baby. 594 00:42:45,914 --> 00:42:48,950 What would be the opinion, the legal opinion of the state, 595 00:42:49,083 --> 00:42:53,626 which is empowered to look after children and their welfare? 596 00:42:53,921 --> 00:42:56,128 This child is here illegally. 597 00:42:56,257 --> 00:42:58,748 No, it's not. I made a deal with the mother. 598 00:42:58,885 --> 00:43:02,218 And at this time, we're taking the child into protective custody. 599 00:43:02,346 --> 00:43:05,797 -You are not doing that. You're not taking... -The child is going... 600 00:43:06,392 --> 00:43:08,468 Get off me. That is my baby. 601 00:43:09,687 --> 00:43:12,308 Give him back! Give me my baby back! 602 00:43:12,439 --> 00:43:14,432 Give me my baby! Give him back! 603 00:43:14,566 --> 00:43:15,895 Come on! Back! 604 00:43:16,860 --> 00:43:18,354 Give me my baby back! 605 00:43:18,487 --> 00:43:21,404 O.J.! Give me my baby! Give me my... 606 00:43:23,825 --> 00:43:25,984 Give me my baby! O.J.! 607 00:43:27,746 --> 00:43:28,991 O.J.! 608 00:43:42,302 --> 00:43:46,299 O.J.! Give me my baby back! 609 00:43:59,402 --> 00:44:01,062 You want some pie today? 610 00:44:01,195 --> 00:44:04,279 Yeah. I haven't had any carbs for 15 years, 611 00:44:04,407 --> 00:44:06,529 since I was, you know, 4 years old. 612 00:44:06,659 --> 00:44:08,651 -Since you was 4? -Yeah. 613 00:44:09,245 --> 00:44:11,154 Is that your boy? He's pretty. 614 00:44:11,288 --> 00:44:13,411 That was my boy. He got taken away today. 615 00:44:13,540 --> 00:44:16,992 I'm so sorry. Gosh. What is he, about 2? 616 00:44:17,294 --> 00:44:21,505 I think he was about, I don't know, 6 or... 617 00:44:21,632 --> 00:44:23,090 -Was he? Was he about that age? -I don't know. 618 00:44:23,216 --> 00:44:26,502 He could've been a midget. So he could have been 10. 619 00:45:34,744 --> 00:45:38,113 Good morning, cowboy. What's your name? 620 00:45:38,915 --> 00:45:39,994 Lutz. 621 00:45:51,469 --> 00:45:53,426 Get that out of my face. 622 00:45:53,805 --> 00:45:55,927 Move that out of my... No, Lutz. 623 00:45:56,057 --> 00:45:58,096 Hello? Engineering. 624 00:45:58,517 --> 00:46:01,187 Hello, I apologise for the state of the room. 625 00:46:01,312 --> 00:46:04,681 But can I assure you, the toilet is absolutely spotless. 626 00:46:06,150 --> 00:46:08,273 Can you look? The key, I think, is over there, just... 627 00:46:08,402 --> 00:46:09,980 No, I can't do this. 628 00:46:10,112 --> 00:46:13,279 Yeah, Brian, I need you up here on 20 immediately. 629 00:46:13,615 --> 00:46:16,023 Well, no, it's 2 guys handcuffed together on a bed. 630 00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:19,860 And there's some contraption with a dildo on the end of it. 631 00:46:20,414 --> 00:46:22,905 And they're asking... They've been staying at the hotel for a while 632 00:46:23,041 --> 00:46:26,742 and wanted to know if I can get the key for them because they can't get out of bed. 633 00:46:26,878 --> 00:46:29,037 I'm pretty freaking flipping right now. 634 00:46:30,340 --> 00:46:32,380 -Come in. -Can you tell me what's going on? 635 00:46:32,509 --> 00:46:35,545 You were not meant to see this. You find the key, I can get out of this. 636 00:46:35,679 --> 00:46:37,054 Now, can you just look under that shelf... 637 00:46:37,180 --> 00:46:40,216 No. This is not what was supposed to be going on in here. 638 00:46:40,350 --> 00:46:41,548 You're telling me, honey. 639 00:46:41,684 --> 00:46:45,682 I should be chained to a 6'4" Norwegian with a PhD in sucking dick. 640 00:46:45,813 --> 00:46:46,845 That's not my concern. 641 00:46:48,566 --> 00:46:49,562 Okay, well, listen, one other thing. 642 00:46:49,692 --> 00:46:53,820 Can you switch off the television? Because I made a fart, 643 00:46:53,946 --> 00:46:57,611 and I am on the verge of buying Mr. Magorium's Wunderbar Emporium. 644 00:46:57,742 --> 00:46:59,319 That's unfortunate. 645 00:46:59,452 --> 00:47:02,821 No, but I refuse to pay for Mr. Magorium's Wunderbar Emporium. 646 00:47:02,955 --> 00:47:04,497 I did not press it. 647 00:47:04,623 --> 00:47:06,248 No, I'm afraid we are not gonna be doing that. 648 00:47:06,375 --> 00:47:09,376 Hey, listen, you. What's your name? Hi. What's your name? 649 00:47:09,503 --> 00:47:10,997 -No, don't even talk to me. -You're cute. 650 00:47:11,130 --> 00:47:13,502 You're like a Latino Paul Giamatti. 651 00:47:13,632 --> 00:47:15,589 -Hey, don't talk to me. I'm not talking to you. -Hey, girlfriend. 652 00:47:19,054 --> 00:47:21,510 Also, great. Maybe they can let us out. 653 00:47:23,267 --> 00:47:27,098 Excuse me, can you unlock us? Please. Hello? Can you unlock us? 654 00:47:28,063 --> 00:47:29,391 Please, can you unlock us? 655 00:47:29,523 --> 00:47:32,144 Please. My assistant's about to shit on my balls. 656 00:47:47,332 --> 00:47:48,411 What's going on here? 657 00:47:48,541 --> 00:47:50,249 What does it look like, Paul Blart? 658 00:47:55,882 --> 00:47:56,913 Brüno. 659 00:48:28,246 --> 00:48:29,361 Brüno. 660 00:49:26,887 --> 00:49:31,098 Ich was at a low point. Brüno had hit rock Arsch. 661 00:49:32,100 --> 00:49:36,678 Lutz had gone, und ich had only 9 Freunds left on MeinSpace. 662 00:49:40,692 --> 00:49:42,731 Lutz! Lutz! 663 00:49:50,159 --> 00:49:53,196 I was about to give up on my dream of celebrity, 664 00:49:53,996 --> 00:49:55,953 when suddenly it hit me. 665 00:49:59,293 --> 00:50:02,460 All the most famous stars in the world, 666 00:50:02,588 --> 00:50:09,207 Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kevin Spacey, they all had one thing in common. 667 00:50:10,179 --> 00:50:12,052 They were all straight. 668 00:50:16,268 --> 00:50:20,431 To become famous, I would have to quit guys. 669 00:50:20,898 --> 00:50:24,563 Ich just needed to find a cock-aholics anonymous. 670 00:50:29,072 --> 00:50:33,070 Things have got to change. I want to become straight. 671 00:50:34,327 --> 00:50:36,652 -Awesome. -Once I'm straight, 672 00:50:36,788 --> 00:50:38,781 can I still play the clarinet? 673 00:50:40,041 --> 00:50:44,205 If it doesn't remind you about some of the behaviour 674 00:50:44,337 --> 00:50:47,172 that you engaged in when you put your lips around it. 675 00:50:47,298 --> 00:50:50,133 If it doesn't remind you of that, then I say go for it 676 00:50:50,259 --> 00:50:52,797 and play the clarinet with everything inside of you. 677 00:50:52,929 --> 00:50:57,341 If it does remind you of that, then I say put it down, 678 00:50:57,475 --> 00:51:01,852 give it away, let a friend hold it until you know in your mind 679 00:51:01,979 --> 00:51:05,063 you're ready to pick it up again and it wouldn't remind you of that. 680 00:51:05,191 --> 00:51:10,102 Und what about if I put a flute up my stinker? 681 00:51:10,779 --> 00:51:15,358 That... I wouldn't do that either because it would remind you of the former lifestyle. 682 00:51:15,492 --> 00:51:19,704 So you don't put any woodwind instruments up your Arschwitz. 683 00:51:19,830 --> 00:51:22,747 -Absolutely not. You know why? -Why? 684 00:51:22,874 --> 00:51:26,078 Because that would harm my body. That would hurt... 685 00:51:26,211 --> 00:51:28,536 -Only if you lose the reed. -Okay. 686 00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,588 Well, that would... That would be bad. 687 00:51:30,715 --> 00:51:34,215 Is there any music that I shouldn't listen to? Any bands? 688 00:51:34,552 --> 00:51:37,304 Sinead O'Connor. The Indigo Girls. 689 00:51:39,140 --> 00:51:41,097 Of course, the Village People. 690 00:51:41,226 --> 00:51:44,262 When I become straight, you know, a Kuntmeister, 691 00:51:44,562 --> 00:51:47,314 are there any new hobbies that I should take up? 692 00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:50,891 -Do you enjoy hiking? Lifting weights? -Sure. 693 00:51:51,027 --> 00:51:52,770 Man, there's nothing like just working out 694 00:51:52,904 --> 00:51:56,154 and lifting weights and building your muscles 695 00:51:56,282 --> 00:51:59,947 around some other men who are not gay. 696 00:52:08,502 --> 00:52:13,378 I'm totally irresistible to gay guys. They see me und they want to schtupp me. 697 00:52:13,674 --> 00:52:16,794 -Right. -So how do I protect against those guys? 698 00:52:17,010 --> 00:52:20,510 If they get close to you, hit them and leave the situation. 699 00:52:20,639 --> 00:52:22,797 How do you spot the homosexual? 700 00:52:22,933 --> 00:52:24,178 Very hard to do. 701 00:52:24,309 --> 00:52:28,521 Because some of them don't even dress no different than myself or you. 702 00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:30,356 -Amazing. -You know? 703 00:52:30,482 --> 00:52:32,640 It's kind of like terrorists. 704 00:52:32,859 --> 00:52:36,477 If a terrorist has infiltrated a police department 705 00:52:36,613 --> 00:52:39,567 and he dresses like the policemen, how would you know that's him? 706 00:52:39,699 --> 00:52:41,857 What are obvious things that we can look for? 707 00:52:41,993 --> 00:52:46,240 Obvious is a person that's being extremely nice to them to start with. 708 00:52:46,539 --> 00:52:51,035 So if someone approaches you in the street und is being very, very nice to you, 709 00:52:51,169 --> 00:52:52,912 you know that they are a homosexual? 710 00:52:53,045 --> 00:52:54,374 Most likely. 711 00:52:54,881 --> 00:52:59,838 How should I protect myself from being attacked by homosexuals? 712 00:53:00,052 --> 00:53:04,216 They probably would attack from behind. 713 00:53:05,182 --> 00:53:07,756 So, again, if I am a homosexual, 714 00:53:07,893 --> 00:53:10,645 and I'm just trying to run in und kiss you... 715 00:53:11,146 --> 00:53:14,266 -Boom! You done moved in the wrong range. -Right. 716 00:53:14,483 --> 00:53:17,152 Let's say the homosexual has got you on the ground. 717 00:53:17,277 --> 00:53:18,356 Okay. 718 00:53:18,487 --> 00:53:21,357 Und the homosexual, you know, has got you down here. 719 00:53:21,490 --> 00:53:22,688 -Right. -I go to pull this down. 720 00:53:22,824 --> 00:53:26,359 -I want to lock this, lock this leg here. -Touching. 721 00:53:26,495 --> 00:53:28,037 -Yeah. -Hit with the elbow. 722 00:53:28,163 --> 00:53:29,657 Boom. As I roll across. 723 00:53:29,789 --> 00:53:31,865 How do you protect yourself from a dildo? 724 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,624 So let's say I'm trying... 725 00:53:33,752 --> 00:53:35,412 Here, you know. 726 00:53:37,047 --> 00:53:38,589 Like that. You know? 727 00:53:38,715 --> 00:53:40,542 Und disarm the dildo? 728 00:53:40,675 --> 00:53:41,706 Yes. 729 00:53:42,302 --> 00:53:45,137 Is it harder to defend against a black dildo? 730 00:53:45,263 --> 00:53:46,674 -No. -Great. 731 00:53:46,806 --> 00:53:50,222 One is just as easy as the other to defend against. 732 00:53:50,518 --> 00:53:52,511 -So, I'm attacking. -Boom. 733 00:53:53,563 --> 00:53:56,232 -Like that. -Let's say I go down and I... 734 00:53:56,857 --> 00:53:59,728 Trap it, work the knees. Work the elbows. 735 00:54:00,528 --> 00:54:03,232 How do you defend yourself against the man with 2 dildos? 736 00:54:03,364 --> 00:54:05,902 Coming in. Here. Boom. 737 00:54:06,075 --> 00:54:10,238 Depending on his range. Boom. Then to his face. Boom. 738 00:54:12,289 --> 00:54:14,910 Okay? Kick around, boom. 739 00:54:16,752 --> 00:54:18,080 He can't do nothing from there. 740 00:54:18,212 --> 00:54:21,082 And if he's just running with his pants down? 741 00:54:21,798 --> 00:54:24,835 Here. Boom. And then to the eyes. 742 00:54:25,260 --> 00:54:27,051 -Homosexual attacking your bum. -Leg here. 743 00:54:27,179 --> 00:54:31,046 And then come in and break his arm. Take it here, take him out. 744 00:54:31,182 --> 00:54:34,219 Break his arms. Boom, break his ribs. Break his arms. 745 00:54:34,352 --> 00:54:37,104 Okay. Thank you very much. Fantastisch. 746 00:54:37,230 --> 00:54:38,689 -Okay. -It's very useful. 747 00:54:38,815 --> 00:54:42,231 That's just totally different than what I've ever tried to, you know, work with. 748 00:54:44,153 --> 00:54:45,980 So you were never gay? 749 00:54:46,906 --> 00:54:50,322 It's ironic that you should have amazing blow job lips. 750 00:54:52,495 --> 00:54:55,780 Well, these lips were made to praise Jesus. 751 00:54:56,624 --> 00:54:59,909 No, they were made for something else, but you're just not using it for them. 752 00:55:00,044 --> 00:55:01,289 Well... 753 00:55:01,420 --> 00:55:03,627 Are there any activities you suggest 754 00:55:03,756 --> 00:55:06,461 where I'll be surrounded just by straight guys? 755 00:55:10,346 --> 00:55:14,177 -Let's go! Let's go! -Let's go! Let's go! 756 00:55:18,020 --> 00:55:19,811 -Push ups! Sit ups! -Push ups! Sit ups! 757 00:55:22,107 --> 00:55:24,313 -Hurry up. Get in here. -Was? 758 00:55:24,651 --> 00:55:27,189 Make this bed. Hurry up. Make the bed. 759 00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,064 But do you have something, maybe a double... 760 00:55:29,197 --> 00:55:30,395 Make the bed! 761 00:55:30,532 --> 00:55:33,319 Could you hold the sheet over there? 762 00:55:33,451 --> 00:55:34,447 I'm not holding anything. 763 00:55:34,577 --> 00:55:35,822 -Get down. Get down. -Was? 764 00:55:35,954 --> 00:55:38,160 I said, get down! Do push ups. 765 00:55:38,373 --> 00:55:41,124 This line right here is a line that you don't cross. 766 00:55:41,251 --> 00:55:43,706 This is TAC Alley. TAC Officer's... 767 00:55:43,836 --> 00:55:46,043 You're in it again. This is my alley. 768 00:55:46,172 --> 00:55:47,335 I don't want to be in your alley. 769 00:55:47,465 --> 00:55:50,668 Yeah, well, get out of it. Your finger's in my alley. 770 00:55:51,219 --> 00:55:52,417 Not yet. 771 00:55:55,389 --> 00:55:58,260 By the way, where's your uniform? Go get your uniform on. 772 00:55:58,392 --> 00:55:59,507 Do it! 773 00:56:00,561 --> 00:56:01,972 Oh, my gosh. 774 00:56:03,355 --> 00:56:04,553 What's up with the scarf? 775 00:56:06,275 --> 00:56:07,271 That is, like, it's my own thing. 776 00:56:07,401 --> 00:56:09,773 Let me introduce you to somebody. Captain Miles. 777 00:56:09,903 --> 00:56:11,563 Candidate, what are you doing? 778 00:56:11,697 --> 00:56:13,321 Stand at the position of attention, candidate. 779 00:56:13,449 --> 00:56:15,940 -Do it! Do it! -Head and eyes straight forward, candidate. 780 00:56:16,076 --> 00:56:18,532 Head and eyes straight forward. Stand still, candidate. 781 00:56:18,662 --> 00:56:19,825 That is not part of the uniform, candidate. You need to take that off. 782 00:56:21,665 --> 00:56:24,037 This outfit is too matchy-matchy as it is, 783 00:56:24,167 --> 00:56:27,999 and so I was just trying to break it up with some simple horizontal lines. 784 00:56:28,129 --> 00:56:30,917 Do you have an attitude, candidate? Do we detect an attitude? 785 00:56:31,049 --> 00:56:34,584 -Sir, she's got an attitude. -What? 786 00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:37,127 Sir Officer Candidate, did you just call me "she"? 787 00:56:37,263 --> 00:56:39,256 -Get down, candidate! Now! -Do it! 788 00:56:39,390 --> 00:56:41,513 What type belt is that, candidate? 789 00:56:41,643 --> 00:56:42,888 What is that? 790 00:56:43,019 --> 00:56:44,846 -D&G. -What is D&G? 791 00:56:44,979 --> 00:56:46,936 Dolce und Gabbana. Hello? 792 00:56:47,065 --> 00:56:48,096 -"Hello"? -"Hello"? 793 00:56:48,232 --> 00:56:49,691 -Front in the rest position. -Get down, you! 794 00:56:49,984 --> 00:56:53,934 Sir Officer Candidate, you deserve a medal for exceptional skin. 795 00:56:54,655 --> 00:56:56,944 What are you talking... What are you trying to say, candidate? 796 00:56:57,074 --> 00:57:01,902 Sir Officer Candidate, you could be a general in the Bitch Army the way you're going. 797 00:57:02,037 --> 00:57:03,745 -Did you use profanity again? -Did you use profanity? 798 00:57:03,873 --> 00:57:05,071 But you're being really nasty. 799 00:57:05,207 --> 00:57:08,956 The OC guide states that I will not use profanity while I'm at OCS. 800 00:57:09,086 --> 00:57:11,755 Yes, mein Führer. Yes, Officer Candidate. 801 00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:14,087 -Hurry up! -Hurry up! Let's go! 802 00:57:15,050 --> 00:57:16,461 -Yeah, this is mine. -You better help your buddy. 803 00:57:20,305 --> 00:57:22,298 Get out of my TAC Alley. 804 00:57:23,308 --> 00:57:24,471 Get out of my TAC Alley. 805 00:57:27,813 --> 00:57:30,101 -Hurry up! Hurry up! -Move over there! 806 00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:36,731 -Salute! -Salute with your right hand. 807 00:57:36,863 --> 00:57:37,894 Salute with your right hand. 808 00:57:38,031 --> 00:57:39,774 -That's not a salute. -That's not a salute. 809 00:57:39,908 --> 00:57:40,903 That's not a salute. 810 00:57:42,619 --> 00:57:45,655 Can I tell you about the person that changed my life? 811 00:57:45,788 --> 00:57:47,662 Was it Karl Lagerfeld? 812 00:57:47,957 --> 00:57:52,286 No, actually, his name is Jesus. Jesus is in this room right now. 813 00:57:52,420 --> 00:57:55,670 He never leaves us. He never forsakes us. He's here. 814 00:57:56,048 --> 00:57:57,163 Amazing. 815 00:57:57,300 --> 00:57:58,842 That's exactly right. He's amazing. 816 00:57:58,968 --> 00:58:02,633 You want to be famous. You'll be one that's so famous, Brüno, 817 00:58:02,763 --> 00:58:06,346 you will prepare the way for other young men all over the world 818 00:58:06,475 --> 00:58:10,389 who want to come out of the homosexual lifestyle and make a change in their lives. 819 00:58:10,521 --> 00:58:13,356 And they'll say, "If Brüno can do it, then I can do it. 820 00:58:13,482 --> 00:58:15,640 "How did he change? How did you change, Brüno?" 821 00:58:15,776 --> 00:58:18,563 And they'll say, "It's Jesus. He changed me." 822 00:58:18,695 --> 00:58:20,735 But he wants to come into your heart right now. 823 00:58:20,864 --> 00:58:23,153 Are you ready to make that change? 824 00:58:23,283 --> 00:58:25,202 Are you hitting on me? 825 00:58:26,244 --> 00:58:27,620 No, I'm not. 826 00:58:28,413 --> 00:58:32,956 Okay, good, 'cause I just... That was, like, really hot, that whole speech. 827 00:58:34,711 --> 00:58:36,620 Are there any outdoor activities 828 00:58:36,755 --> 00:58:40,088 that I should do if I want to become straight? 829 00:58:40,341 --> 00:58:41,717 Absolutely. 830 00:58:42,385 --> 00:58:43,713 -Hi. -Hello. 831 00:58:47,181 --> 00:58:48,640 -Mike. Brüno. -Brüno. 832 00:58:49,142 --> 00:58:50,137 Hey. Great. 833 00:58:50,268 --> 00:58:51,892 -I'm Donny. -Brüno. 834 00:58:52,854 --> 00:58:54,016 Robert. 835 00:58:54,355 --> 00:58:56,513 -You ever been hunting? -I've never killed an animal. 836 00:58:58,609 --> 00:58:59,807 Although, I did once suffocate a hamster in Mykonos. 837 00:59:04,448 --> 00:59:08,315 The women, eh? Do you prefer the vagina or the mammary glands? 838 00:59:09,536 --> 00:59:11,778 -I prefer the vagina. -Me, too. 839 00:59:12,206 --> 00:59:14,447 I love a woman with a vagina. 840 00:59:14,583 --> 00:59:15,614 Yeah. 841 00:59:16,251 --> 00:59:17,449 My favourite. 842 00:59:17,586 --> 00:59:19,294 Didn't see anything. 843 00:59:20,172 --> 00:59:22,627 We were just talking about vaginas. 844 00:59:22,799 --> 00:59:23,795 About what? 845 00:59:23,925 --> 00:59:25,835 Vaginas. The woman's vagina. 846 00:59:28,847 --> 00:59:32,298 Sharing stories and saying how much we enjoy them. 847 00:59:32,434 --> 00:59:33,596 Yes. 848 00:59:33,935 --> 00:59:35,595 Really fantastisch. 849 00:59:36,146 --> 00:59:38,055 Really wonderful things. 850 00:59:39,190 --> 00:59:40,768 It's my favourite. 851 00:59:46,531 --> 00:59:48,155 This is wonderful. 852 00:59:50,243 --> 00:59:52,152 This is what rabbit look like. 853 00:59:58,042 --> 01:00:02,122 Look at the 4 of us. We are so like the Sex and the City girls. 854 01:00:03,255 --> 01:00:05,248 No, we aren't, either. 855 01:00:06,383 --> 01:00:08,091 Which one are you, Donny? 856 01:00:08,218 --> 01:00:10,674 I ain't any one of them. I'm Donny. 857 01:00:11,930 --> 01:00:14,504 That is such a Samantha thing to say. 858 01:00:18,770 --> 01:00:21,807 I've never been out of the city before. 859 01:00:21,940 --> 01:00:24,858 You haven't? How's it feel? 860 01:00:25,444 --> 01:00:27,401 I feel a bit vulnerable. 861 01:00:29,489 --> 01:00:32,940 You know, I'm 19 years old, I've got a perfect body. 862 01:00:34,035 --> 01:00:37,534 You know, I really don't want to wake up tomorrow morning und find 863 01:00:38,790 --> 01:00:41,115 that I'm torn in my Arschenholer. 864 01:00:44,087 --> 01:00:46,412 You probably ain't the only one. 865 01:00:46,881 --> 01:00:48,708 Me, either, definitely. 866 01:00:50,218 --> 01:00:52,839 There's so many stars in the sky. 867 01:00:53,804 --> 01:00:55,263 Full of them. 868 01:00:56,474 --> 01:00:59,593 Makes you think of all the hot guys in the world. 869 01:01:28,338 --> 01:01:30,911 Do we all share one tent or what's more sensible? 870 01:01:31,049 --> 01:01:32,329 I hope not. 871 01:02:37,405 --> 01:02:39,232 All right, God damn it. 872 01:02:42,535 --> 01:02:45,204 Reverend BJ found me too much of a handful 873 01:02:45,329 --> 01:02:47,239 and put me in touch with one of his chums. 874 01:02:48,583 --> 01:02:50,207 You look decent in that. 875 01:02:52,211 --> 01:02:53,789 Look like a straight guy, how's that? 876 01:02:56,590 --> 01:02:58,417 Women are good for us. 877 01:02:59,927 --> 01:03:02,632 They're good even though 878 01:03:02,763 --> 01:03:06,214 they appear to us to be terribly conventional. 879 01:03:06,809 --> 01:03:10,641 And we find that somewhat irritating 880 01:03:12,564 --> 01:03:15,055 that they complain so much. 881 01:03:15,984 --> 01:03:17,941 -Right. -But we need that. 882 01:03:18,445 --> 01:03:21,944 We need many of the things 883 01:03:22,491 --> 01:03:28,196 that, at first glance, are annoying and irritating. 884 01:03:29,414 --> 01:03:32,581 And women often don't stick to the point. 885 01:03:32,709 --> 01:03:37,335 They're often talking about one thing and then another and then another, 886 01:03:37,797 --> 01:03:41,581 and they never get back to the first point maybe ever. 887 01:03:43,052 --> 01:03:47,928 I am repulsed by the idea of making the sex with a woman. 888 01:03:49,308 --> 01:03:54,101 The important thing is to be around women, 889 01:03:54,230 --> 01:03:58,642 somewhat, that you find tolerable or interesting 890 01:03:59,318 --> 01:04:02,236 and give them a chance to seduce you. 891 01:04:09,203 --> 01:04:10,780 How did you get into it? 892 01:04:10,913 --> 01:04:11,944 We, actually, our first time was on our... 893 01:04:13,248 --> 01:04:14,956 -Our honeymoon. -Yeah. 894 01:04:15,125 --> 01:04:19,253 Of all nights for us to swing, the first time was for our honeymoon. 895 01:04:21,006 --> 01:04:23,461 Und what is your favourite position? 896 01:04:24,551 --> 01:04:27,468 That would be missionary or reverse cowgirl. 897 01:04:28,013 --> 01:04:30,089 What's reverse cowgirl? 898 01:04:30,890 --> 01:04:32,385 Show me. I'll pretend to be the woman. 899 01:04:32,517 --> 01:04:33,513 Like, I'm sitting here, and... 900 01:04:33,643 --> 01:04:37,308 Yeah, and so, if I'm the woman... Don't worry. Yeah, so what? 901 01:04:37,438 --> 01:04:38,518 You'd be sitting like that, 902 01:04:38,648 --> 01:04:40,973 -and that's called reverse cowgirl. -Right. Right. 903 01:04:41,109 --> 01:04:43,896 And then when you're facing me, that's called cowgirl. 904 01:04:44,696 --> 01:04:47,400 This one here is cowgirl or reverse cowgirl? 905 01:04:47,532 --> 01:04:48,646 This is cowgirl. 906 01:04:48,783 --> 01:04:51,452 And then when you're turned the opposite way, it's reverse cowgirl. 907 01:04:57,291 --> 01:04:58,869 Und what other positions are there? 908 01:04:59,001 --> 01:05:01,207 -Power driver. -Right. 909 01:05:01,337 --> 01:05:02,499 69. 910 01:05:02,630 --> 01:05:04,172 But this is the girl's position. 911 01:05:05,466 --> 01:05:06,841 You don't want to be like this if you're a guy. 912 01:05:06,967 --> 01:05:08,924 There's missionary, doggy style. 913 01:05:09,053 --> 01:05:10,251 So what's doggy style like? 914 01:05:10,387 --> 01:05:12,878 You'd be bent over, like a dog does it. 915 01:05:13,015 --> 01:05:14,343 Yeah. Like that? 916 01:05:14,474 --> 01:05:16,467 All right, and then what would you be doing? 917 01:05:16,602 --> 01:05:18,096 If you was a woman, I would be humping you. 918 01:05:18,228 --> 01:05:19,936 -No, show me. -I'm not gonna show you. 919 01:05:20,063 --> 01:05:21,392 -You're a man. -Don't be a faggot. 920 01:05:21,523 --> 01:05:24,061 Come on. What's the big deal? It's just a couple of guys. 921 01:05:24,234 --> 01:05:26,357 I'd be humping you like that. 922 01:05:27,550 --> 01:05:29,313 I can't wait to do this to a woman. 923 01:05:40,041 --> 01:05:42,614 Anybody want a sandwich or something? 924 01:05:46,047 --> 01:05:48,289 Yeah. Great. 925 01:05:50,218 --> 01:05:51,877 Very good. You've got great hair actually. 926 01:05:52,011 --> 01:05:53,754 -Thank you. -Yeah. 927 01:06:02,938 --> 01:06:04,183 That was great. 928 01:06:05,399 --> 01:06:07,937 -Oh, yeah. -Good boy. 929 01:06:10,404 --> 01:06:11,684 Fuck, yeah. 930 01:06:13,615 --> 01:06:15,240 You're doing a great job. 931 01:06:15,367 --> 01:06:16,612 Thank you. 932 01:06:17,828 --> 01:06:20,116 Come on, Jack, look me in the eyes. 933 01:06:20,247 --> 01:06:22,535 Look me in the eye. You can do this. 934 01:06:25,836 --> 01:06:26,831 Dude. 935 01:06:28,088 --> 01:06:29,961 Why would he look you in the eyes when he's looking at a pussy? 936 01:06:30,090 --> 01:06:33,126 -Why would he look you in the eyes? -No, no. Just for concentration. 937 01:06:33,259 --> 01:06:36,260 -He does not look in a guy's... -I don't need you for concentration, okay? 938 01:06:36,387 --> 01:06:38,961 -Look her in the eye. -This is a fucking swingers party. Okay? 939 01:06:39,098 --> 01:06:40,806 If you don't want pussy, if you don't want fucking... 940 01:06:40,934 --> 01:06:42,891 -No, I want... -Then quit fucking touching me 941 01:06:43,019 --> 01:06:45,854 and quit telling me to look at you in the eye. Okay? 942 01:06:45,980 --> 01:06:48,649 I didn't come here for no fucking queer shit. Okay? 943 01:06:48,774 --> 01:06:50,233 -Me, neither. -Okay. 944 01:06:50,359 --> 01:06:51,770 -Let's keep it at that then. -Cool. 945 01:06:51,903 --> 01:06:54,820 This is a fucking swingers party. Right, guys? 946 01:06:54,947 --> 01:06:57,023 I see what the fuck you're doing, dude. 947 01:06:57,158 --> 01:06:58,272 -Hi. -Did he not try to pull 948 01:06:58,409 --> 01:07:00,033 -that queer shit on you out there? -Hi. How you doing? 949 01:07:00,161 --> 01:07:02,402 I don't need this motherfucker touching me on the back, 950 01:07:02,538 --> 01:07:04,577 telling me to look him in the fucking eye. Right? 951 01:07:04,707 --> 01:07:08,158 -I was just going to the kitchen. -I know, yeah. Come on. 952 01:07:09,002 --> 01:07:12,003 What's this shit? Let's take this off. 953 01:07:12,923 --> 01:07:15,758 Let's maybe we get to know each other a little. 954 01:07:15,884 --> 01:07:18,505 -I think you broke that, actually. -I don't give a fuck. 955 01:07:18,637 --> 01:07:22,337 Yeah, there is... Let's get to know each other a little bit first. 956 01:07:23,642 --> 01:07:24,721 Know each other? What? 957 01:07:24,851 --> 01:07:27,093 You must produce a lot of milk. 958 01:07:27,437 --> 01:07:29,845 I don't want you to do something that you'll regret. 959 01:07:29,981 --> 01:07:33,432 You wake up tomorrow, you've lost your virginity, and you feel ashamed. 960 01:07:33,568 --> 01:07:36,854 You know, let's take this a little slower. 961 01:07:36,988 --> 01:07:39,027 -We should reschedule. -Sit the fuck down. 962 01:07:39,157 --> 01:07:41,399 Sit the fuck down. Don't fuck around! 963 01:07:43,244 --> 01:07:45,569 No, let's do this the right way. 964 01:07:47,081 --> 01:07:49,572 I go, and I sit down with your father, we talk about this. 965 01:07:49,709 --> 01:07:51,119 -If he gives his permission... -What? 966 01:07:51,252 --> 01:07:52,580 Would you quit being a little bitch here 967 01:07:52,712 --> 01:07:55,547 and take your little briefs off before I fucking rip them? 968 01:07:55,798 --> 01:07:57,257 Wait. Yes. 969 01:07:57,383 --> 01:07:58,414 -Yeah. -Fine. 970 01:07:58,551 --> 01:07:59,582 -Thanks. -Okay. Great. 971 01:07:59,718 --> 01:08:01,592 I don't like this little shit. 972 01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:02,918 Yes, well, I want to really make this heterosexual sex. 973 01:08:04,765 --> 01:08:05,963 It's going to be fantastisch! 974 01:08:06,100 --> 01:08:10,014 Do as I say. Take that fucking shit off now! 975 01:08:11,271 --> 01:08:13,560 -Don't... You fold them. -Fuck. 976 01:08:13,690 --> 01:08:16,442 You gotta fold that neatly. You don't treat suede like that. It stains. 977 01:08:16,568 --> 01:08:18,940 Sit the fuck down. Take it off! 978 01:08:19,071 --> 01:08:22,522 I've got an idea. Let's play a little bit of dress-up here. 979 01:08:22,657 --> 01:08:23,653 It will be erotisch. 980 01:08:23,783 --> 01:08:25,610 What is this? You gonna dress me like a man? 981 01:08:25,744 --> 01:08:27,119 No, it's just a beard. 982 01:08:27,245 --> 01:08:28,739 -Am I supposed to wear a beard? -It's just a... 983 01:08:28,872 --> 01:08:30,200 Come on, it will be fun. 984 01:08:30,332 --> 01:08:31,494 I don't need a beard. 985 01:08:31,624 --> 01:08:33,000 Take it off! Now! 986 01:08:33,126 --> 01:08:34,324 Once you put the... 987 01:08:37,005 --> 01:08:39,377 -Fuck! Take it off. -Okay. I'm... 988 01:08:39,507 --> 01:08:40,586 -Okay, I'm going to do this. -Right now! 989 01:08:40,717 --> 01:08:43,386 Get on your fucking knees and suck my spike here, bitch. 990 01:08:46,055 --> 01:08:48,131 Okay. Help! 991 01:08:48,474 --> 01:08:50,134 Don't fuck around! 992 01:08:53,437 --> 01:08:55,097 Don't call me gay! 993 01:08:55,648 --> 01:08:59,645 I'm gonna become straight. I'm gonna become über straight. 994 01:09:00,778 --> 01:09:03,648 I'm gonna be the straightest man who's ever lived. 995 01:09:03,781 --> 01:09:07,730 Und then I'll be famous. You'll see. You'll see. 996 01:09:31,641 --> 01:09:32,672 What's up, Arkansas? How's everybody doing? 997 01:09:37,689 --> 01:09:40,014 You guys ready to see a little ass kicking tonight? 998 01:09:41,776 --> 01:09:45,109 Make some noise, everybody. Put your hands together. Make some noise 999 01:09:45,238 --> 01:09:50,314 for the host of the brand-new TV show, Straight Dave's Man Slammin' Maxout. 1000 01:09:50,576 --> 01:09:54,656 Give it up for Straight Dave! 1001 01:09:56,040 --> 01:09:59,824 Straight Dave. Straight Dave. 1002 01:10:19,312 --> 01:10:22,479 Are you ready for some man-slamming action? 1003 01:10:23,984 --> 01:10:27,602 Who's ready for an old-fashioned heterofest? 1004 01:10:30,198 --> 01:10:34,243 Are you 100% hetero like me? 1005 01:10:42,710 --> 01:10:45,284 Who out there is proud to be straight? 1006 01:10:47,423 --> 01:10:50,294 Let me hear you say straight pride. 1007 01:10:50,551 --> 01:10:51,832 -Straight pride. -Straight pride. 1008 01:10:51,969 --> 01:10:53,594 Straight pride. 1009 01:10:53,721 --> 01:10:55,096 -Straight pride. -Straight pride. 1010 01:10:55,514 --> 01:10:59,215 I am so straight that when I bought my house, 1011 01:10:59,351 --> 01:11:02,767 the first thing I did was brick up the back door. 1012 01:11:06,191 --> 01:11:10,236 You know why? Because my asshole's just for shitting. 1013 01:11:10,362 --> 01:11:11,904 Let me hear you say that. 1014 01:11:12,030 --> 01:11:14,272 -My asshole's just for shitting. -My asshole's just for shitting. 1015 01:11:15,242 --> 01:11:18,575 It's great to have an evening with straight people. 1016 01:11:18,704 --> 01:11:21,491 It's great not to have any fags here. 1017 01:11:21,623 --> 01:11:23,201 You're a faggot! 1018 01:11:24,334 --> 01:11:26,243 Who called me a faggot? 1019 01:11:26,795 --> 01:11:30,744 Whoever called me a faggot come up here, and I'll beat your Arsch. 1020 01:11:31,216 --> 01:11:34,300 Who called Straight Dave a faggot? Come up here. 1021 01:11:44,312 --> 01:11:45,687 Let him in. 1022 01:11:52,320 --> 01:11:55,771 Who wants to see me beat this fag's ass? 1023 01:11:57,825 --> 01:12:00,114 Who wants me to beat this... 1024 01:12:02,454 --> 01:12:03,450 Fuck him up! 1025 01:12:03,580 --> 01:12:04,861 Get him, motherfucker! 1026 01:12:08,085 --> 01:12:09,994 Beat his fucking ass! 1027 01:12:26,853 --> 01:12:28,264 Kick his ass! 1028 01:12:54,714 --> 01:12:56,089 Fucking fag! 1029 01:12:59,552 --> 01:13:03,003 -Homo! Queer fags! -Motherfuckers! 1030 01:13:19,946 --> 01:13:22,022 Stop! Stop! 1031 01:13:28,913 --> 01:13:32,532 Get out of my town. You all are sick. 1032 01:13:35,879 --> 01:13:39,876 Tell him we don't have no faggots here in Arkansas. Take that shit somewhere else. 1033 01:13:41,634 --> 01:13:44,207 You pussy-ass faggot motherfucker! 1034 01:14:07,659 --> 01:14:11,242 Fuck that shit! Fuck that shit! 1035 01:14:11,705 --> 01:14:15,074 Fuck that shit! Fuck that shit! 1036 01:14:32,851 --> 01:14:38,307 The footage went everywhere, und Brüno became über famous. 1037 01:14:39,857 --> 01:14:43,807 As for Lutz, we decided to get married in California. 1038 01:14:44,821 --> 01:14:48,154 But because of the law, we had to be a bit inventive. 1039 01:14:48,532 --> 01:14:52,032 I feel this is the biggest step you'll ever make in your lifetime. 1040 01:14:52,161 --> 01:14:53,952 -It's a very big moment. -That's right. 1041 01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:57,164 Am I going to be able to meet her before we actually start? 1042 01:14:57,291 --> 01:14:58,322 Sure. 1043 01:15:11,180 --> 01:15:14,548 I... I don't marry 2 men or 2 women. 1044 01:15:14,808 --> 01:15:18,224 If she's a man, then how did it give birth to our son? 1045 01:15:22,732 --> 01:15:23,764 You gave birth to a little black child? 1046 01:15:23,900 --> 01:15:24,931 Yes. 1047 01:15:25,986 --> 01:15:28,108 When did you have the baby? 1048 01:15:28,488 --> 01:15:31,572 I don't even know why I'm asking that question. 1049 01:15:32,742 --> 01:15:35,031 But even though marriage was a nicht-nicht, 1050 01:15:35,161 --> 01:15:37,450 we weren't gonna let it get us down. 1051 01:15:37,580 --> 01:15:38,659 We were happy. We had each other. 1052 01:15:40,500 --> 01:15:41,780 And we had O.J. back, 1053 01:15:42,377 --> 01:15:45,046 although he did cost us a MacBook Pro. 1054 01:15:45,838 --> 01:15:48,246 Plus, ich was now so famous 1055 01:15:48,382 --> 01:15:52,510 that I was able to record mein very own charity video. 1056 01:15:54,471 --> 01:16:00,518 Subtitles: Arigon 1057 01:16:01,520 --> 01:16:03,180 I've written a song 1058 01:16:03,731 --> 01:16:08,439 that I hope is gonna bring the world together 1059 01:16:14,533 --> 01:16:17,949 Put down your guns and bombs 1060 01:16:18,829 --> 01:16:21,913 and just make love forever 1061 01:16:22,457 --> 01:16:23,786 Okay, then. 1062 01:16:28,088 --> 01:16:31,005 He's come to heal the world 1063 01:16:32,050 --> 01:16:34,292 and make all nations calmer 1064 01:16:41,017 --> 01:16:44,765 I am the Austrian Jesus 1065 01:16:45,229 --> 01:16:48,563 He is the white Obama 1066 01:16:49,150 --> 01:16:50,858 He's the white Obama 1067 01:16:54,447 --> 01:16:57,447 War's just based on hate and fear 1068 01:16:57,575 --> 01:17:00,825 Stop fighting, North and South Korea 1069 01:17:01,662 --> 01:17:04,663 You're both basically Chinese 1070 01:17:04,957 --> 01:17:07,448 And he's Brüno, dove of peace 1071 01:17:07,584 --> 01:17:10,371 Hey, yo, Brüno, where the bitches at? 1072 01:17:11,255 --> 01:17:13,876 You are Brüno, dove of peace 1073 01:17:14,007 --> 01:17:17,376 You do it, fashion model You got the cute hos 1074 01:17:17,844 --> 01:17:21,545 You are Brüno, dove of peace 1075 01:17:22,849 --> 01:17:24,509 You know, I love black guys. I'm a chocoholic. 1076 01:17:24,643 --> 01:17:27,762 Du bist Brüno, dove of peace 1077 01:17:27,896 --> 01:17:29,520 Brüno wants peace. 1078 01:17:29,731 --> 01:17:33,598 Either we gonna have peace, or we gonna have motherfucking war. 1079 01:17:34,319 --> 01:17:37,236 I have a dream for the Third World 1080 01:17:37,989 --> 01:17:41,440 Clean water, food and teaching 1081 01:17:47,290 --> 01:17:50,741 In every village and every town 1082 01:17:51,502 --> 01:17:54,586 a place for anal bleaching 1083 01:18:00,636 --> 01:18:04,087 We need to rid the world of hunger 1084 01:18:04,223 --> 01:18:07,508 I'm like Bono, except much younger 1085 01:18:08,060 --> 01:18:11,061 He's only 19 1086 01:18:11,188 --> 01:18:13,939 Ich bin Brüno, dove of peace 1087 01:18:16,151 --> 01:18:19,271 Hey, hey, he gay, he gay 1088 01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:21,311 Okay.